Aaaaanyway - off to hide again for a bit.

I wrote a book about it, I usually do :D it's very personal and I rarely shout about it, cos, you want the s*xy stuff... surely... nobody wants to read... the other stuff...

#RSD #ADHD but if you do *cringes*

mybook.to/DeviceDevilMe

Things about young me:

1 I was straight A teacher's pet
2 I believed I was evil and must be possessed by the Devil.
3 If I looked a bible it would burst into flames. So I never looked at a bible.
4 If I looked in a mirror I'd see 666 on my forehead. I avoided mirrors for 10 years.
5 Nobody knew

I was very lucky I did this about 3 years ago (might be longer, might be less... time blindness and all that).

So fuckkkk offfffff with this overdx talk. It's made me hide for days and avoid all socials and news. I had no idea it cut so deep.

Honestly, for every one person with RSD/ADHD who manages to not hate themselves for the time it takes to fight to be seen, there are most likely another hundred who simply cannot face the fight.
Getting a diagnosis was the first time I truly stood up for myself. I put the research in. I KNEW.

A lot of people with ADHD especially women and girls already feel like they take up too much space, it's not that bad, they'll be fine-while drowning inside. If you've made it to even consider a DX you're already a hero. To push on through to request an appointment takes EVERY OUNCE of strength.

Then it did. I was at once elated and DEVASTATED. ADHD is something you would not wish on your worst enemy. I can't emphasize this enough. The turmoil is a constant and excruciating. To think of all these funny exuberant people were also tortured in the shadows was awful.
Yet I was so grateful.

Literally causing me pain. I feel it physically. The possibility that little me who felt so alone, so broken and kept my real self hidden and meek might one day find comfort knowing I was actually part of a community of people who felt the same... was not something I ever believed would happen.

I love it so much

😁😁😁 that would have been so lovely, I can imagine it though! 😍
I still cherish the box of chocolates with the Ruby Glow in it... So it's all good and perfect my friend 🤩

So now, we are 7 hours in to a three hour journey and £209 lighter...

So, YES,

#APPSNAP is a fcking THRILL ok?

Zip on the number 100 airport bus to Waverley and hop on the v expensive train... Bear in mind, this is the Mosconi Cup we're talking about...

We are not going to miss it even if it's not on... (Due to winner being declared a day early)

I have VIP tix and that comes with a lanyard.

A LANYARD

Waited... Waited...

Planes begin to be cancelled...

So make the decision to buy train tix instead (in addition to) and leave airport (feeling very important being escorted BACK thru security)

Very exciting, feel smug when our estimated departure is 5 hours later than planned...

If you're wondering if this is truly fun, here's why IT IS FOR ME

got up to get an early flight to London from Edinburgh to see Mosconi Cup tomorrow nite... (Dream come true but worried it might be over tonight 😭)
Anyhoo... Nae flights leaving Edinburgh due to IT hitch with traffic control 😱

Ken 😭