@strobelune.bsky.social
Kaz | 18+ | he/him/she/her | FUB free
ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sacae/pseuds/strobelune
tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/strobelune
ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sacae/pseuds/strobelune
tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/strobelune
under lock? under wraps? one of those
January 29, 2026 at 5:27 AM
under lock? under wraps? one of those
so I am not just stupid for thinking sj kept as much as possible on lock hahaha
January 29, 2026 at 5:27 AM
so I am not just stupid for thinking sj kept as much as possible on lock hahaha
THANK U FOR ANSWERING I did not read yq this way when I first read the book and then when I got into the fandom I saw this reading Everywhere and I truly felt like I was blind or stupid or something. I don't think it's an unreasonable extrapolation at all but it's nice to know the. canonicity(?)
January 29, 2026 at 5:27 AM
THANK U FOR ANSWERING I did not read yq this way when I first read the book and then when I got into the fandom I saw this reading Everywhere and I truly felt like I was blind or stupid or something. I don't think it's an unreasonable extrapolation at all but it's nice to know the. canonicity(?)
thank u for carrying the yqy apologist torch for so long as well
January 29, 2026 at 5:22 AM
thank u for carrying the yqy apologist torch for so long as well
is this... clearer? hopefully?? again I do not actually mean to fully blame or condemn sj. but probably due to having been exposed to different elements of the fandom as you I am just like well if I have to take a side it's going to be yq's bc I have to fight everyone for his honor apparently
January 29, 2026 at 5:22 AM
is this... clearer? hopefully?? again I do not actually mean to fully blame or condemn sj. but probably due to having been exposed to different elements of the fandom as you I am just like well if I have to take a side it's going to be yq's bc I have to fight everyone for his honor apparently
which tbf to sj again is also because the alternative for yq would be accepting sj just wants to sever what they had completely and yq has no recourse to ever make up for his wrongdoing or repair the relationship. which for yq would be worse
January 29, 2026 at 5:22 AM
which tbf to sj again is also because the alternative for yq would be accepting sj just wants to sever what they had completely and yq has no recourse to ever make up for his wrongdoing or repair the relationship. which for yq would be worse
yq is constantly struggling to find the right response bc he wants to repair the relationship but that's not because sj actually tells him to do that. but sj still guilts and accuses him because he himself feels perpetually on the defensive. and yq takes this as affirming he Isn't Good Enough
January 29, 2026 at 5:22 AM
yq is constantly struggling to find the right response bc he wants to repair the relationship but that's not because sj actually tells him to do that. but sj still guilts and accuses him because he himself feels perpetually on the defensive. and yq takes this as affirming he Isn't Good Enough
so like, I do call it abuse because it takes the shape of an abusive dynamic, but it's not like sj meant for them to end up there (certainly not in the way he means it with lbh) and a lot of it is due to the fact that yq's frame of mind became so vulnerable to placing them in that dynamic
January 29, 2026 at 5:22 AM
so like, I do call it abuse because it takes the shape of an abusive dynamic, but it's not like sj meant for them to end up there (certainly not in the way he means it with lbh) and a lot of it is due to the fact that yq's frame of mind became so vulnerable to placing them in that dynamic
and that the idea of hurting him made sj feel better. it also shows what I said a moment ago: that he didn't know how /much/ it was hurting him, because yqy didn't generally show that it was hurting him in a way sj could recognize, and if he had then sj would probably have pulled back much earlier
January 29, 2026 at 5:22 AM
and that the idea of hurting him made sj feel better. it also shows what I said a moment ago: that he didn't know how /much/ it was hurting him, because yqy didn't generally show that it was hurting him in a way sj could recognize, and if he had then sj would probably have pulled back much earlier
the most blatant example of "sj deliberately wanted to hurt yqy" is obviously this part in the Water Prison. I don't by any means think this was their regular dynamic, but it does show that sj knew that yqy wanted redemption, and knew that hammering in that he couldn't be redeemed would hurt him,
January 29, 2026 at 5:22 AM
the most blatant example of "sj deliberately wanted to hurt yqy" is obviously this part in the Water Prison. I don't by any means think this was their regular dynamic, but it does show that sj knew that yqy wanted redemption, and knew that hammering in that he couldn't be redeemed would hurt him,
think of it that way. I lost track of what I was saying again
January 29, 2026 at 5:22 AM
think of it that way. I lost track of what I was saying again
generally when people throw around the word 'abuse' they do mean it as a very one-sided condemnation of the abusive party and I admit I did come out swinging with that in part bc I knew it painted my stance as very extreme but I hoped that it would be clearer as I went on that I don't really
January 29, 2026 at 5:22 AM
generally when people throw around the word 'abuse' they do mean it as a very one-sided condemnation of the abusive party and I admit I did come out swinging with that in part bc I knew it painted my stance as very extreme but I hoped that it would be clearer as I went on that I don't really
which hits differently now because before, that was just sj posturing, but now trust has been lost, and yqy has failed him, so yqy no longer knows when him being defensive isn't a real boundary (because they weren't before) and when it is a real accusation (which he feels is deserved)
January 29, 2026 at 5:22 AM
which hits differently now because before, that was just sj posturing, but now trust has been lost, and yqy has failed him, so yqy no longer knows when him being defensive isn't a real boundary (because they weren't before) and when it is a real accusation (which he feels is deserved)
and we know that generally, they couldn't hold a conversation longer than five sentences. I agree that sj moreso intended to just keep his distance. I think that he was also probably noticeably defensive every time they talked, since he is defensive every time we see them talk in the book
January 29, 2026 at 5:22 AM
and we know that generally, they couldn't hold a conversation longer than five sentences. I agree that sj moreso intended to just keep his distance. I think that he was also probably noticeably defensive every time they talked, since he is defensive every time we see them talk in the book
we only see a few actual exchanges between them on the page, but we know from yqy's words to sy at the end of the series that "apologies are worthless" is something sj said regularly and not just the once, and we can gather that they spoke differently in private with each other than around others,
January 29, 2026 at 5:22 AM
we only see a few actual exchanges between them on the page, but we know from yqy's words to sy at the end of the series that "apologies are worthless" is something sj said regularly and not just the once, and we can gather that they spoke differently in private with each other than around others,
he recognizes that sj is venting, that this is a form of trust and affection, and that he'll calm down after he finishes venting and yqy apologizes enough. but after their reunion, this dynamic shifts, yqy's guilt is far deeper, sj won't accept his apologies, there is no trust, and sj isn't placated
January 29, 2026 at 5:22 AM
he recognizes that sj is venting, that this is a form of trust and affection, and that he'll calm down after he finishes venting and yqy apologizes enough. but after their reunion, this dynamic shifts, yqy's guilt is far deeper, sj won't accept his apologies, there is no trust, and sj isn't placated
the thing is that was how they always operated. in the Qiu manor, sj guilts and blames yqy extensively, and yqy just takes it and apologizes over and over. in another context this exchange could be abusive. but at this point in their relationship, it's not abusive, bc yqy doesn't receive it as abuse
January 29, 2026 at 5:22 AM
the thing is that was how they always operated. in the Qiu manor, sj guilts and blames yqy extensively, and yqy just takes it and apologizes over and over. in another context this exchange could be abusive. but at this point in their relationship, it's not abusive, bc yqy doesn't receive it as abuse
to clarify: I did mean it when I said my core stance is that the tragedy is that they became incompatible! I don't by any means hold sj as Solely Responsible. I think he also generally doesn't know /how/ much he's hurting yqy, even if I maintain he does often want to make him feel bad
January 29, 2026 at 5:22 AM
to clarify: I did mean it when I said my core stance is that the tragedy is that they became incompatible! I don't by any means hold sj as Solely Responsible. I think he also generally doesn't know /how/ much he's hurting yqy, even if I maintain he does often want to make him feel bad
I am honestly really curious where 'knows he's causing sj pain by not speaking the truth' comes from cuz I feel like I'm missing something there. sj never actually says aloud his assumptions about why yq didn't come back
January 29, 2026 at 4:33 AM
I am honestly really curious where 'knows he's causing sj pain by not speaking the truth' comes from cuz I feel like I'm missing something there. sj never actually says aloud his assumptions about why yq didn't come back
(mostly agree with what you're saying so far but do want to say that sj did not seem to recognize the xs title/legend at the time of their reunion - when wyz calls yqy the xs sword, sj goes 'since he's from cq, let's go' - though maybe you meant he probably thinks this later after hearing about it?)
January 29, 2026 at 4:17 AM
(mostly agree with what you're saying so far but do want to say that sj did not seem to recognize the xs title/legend at the time of their reunion - when wyz calls yqy the xs sword, sj goes 'since he's from cq, let's go' - though maybe you meant he probably thinks this later after hearing about it?)
😭 second one made me want to cry, thanks
January 28, 2026 at 7:06 PM
😭 second one made me want to cry, thanks
put something else that also needs to happen eventually in it and make it do double-duty
January 28, 2026 at 5:40 PM
put something else that also needs to happen eventually in it and make it do double-duty
I cannot edit bsky posts
January 28, 2026 at 6:11 AM
I cannot edit bsky posts