Jessica Stoya
@stoya.bsky.social
Writer. Raconteur. Sex Icon. Intimacy coach through BestSelfPsych (but not a psychotherapist).
Regular column at Slate, occasional bylines elsewhere.
USA born. Living in Serbia.
Retired from adult due to infrastructure barriers.
Regular column at Slate, occasional bylines elsewhere.
USA born. Living in Serbia.
Retired from adult due to infrastructure barriers.
Glasses info request part two:
I have a runny nose and it has been raining
How are contact lenses?
I have a runny nose and it has been raining
How are contact lenses?
November 19, 2025 at 9:31 AM
Glasses info request part two:
I have a runny nose and it has been raining
How are contact lenses?
I have a runny nose and it has been raining
How are contact lenses?
Twelve days ago I experienced stereopsis
It is wild
I can just… see where things are in proximity to other things
Faces in person are much more recognizable
So:
how do people mange the details of full-time glasses-wearing?
is attempting sports which involve catching objects a bad idea?
It is wild
I can just… see where things are in proximity to other things
Faces in person are much more recognizable
So:
how do people mange the details of full-time glasses-wearing?
is attempting sports which involve catching objects a bad idea?
November 16, 2025 at 3:52 PM
Twelve days ago I experienced stereopsis
It is wild
I can just… see where things are in proximity to other things
Faces in person are much more recognizable
So:
how do people mange the details of full-time glasses-wearing?
is attempting sports which involve catching objects a bad idea?
It is wild
I can just… see where things are in proximity to other things
Faces in person are much more recognizable
So:
how do people mange the details of full-time glasses-wearing?
is attempting sports which involve catching objects a bad idea?
Voicememo to accountant:
“Hello, good morning. I am integrating bookkeeping software with payroll and have several questions.
[insert questions]
I am also waiting for [redacted] at [payroll co.], my assigned support human, to wake up and respond to emails.
Keep him in your thoughts and prayers.”
“Hello, good morning. I am integrating bookkeeping software with payroll and have several questions.
[insert questions]
I am also waiting for [redacted] at [payroll co.], my assigned support human, to wake up and respond to emails.
Keep him in your thoughts and prayers.”
November 13, 2025 at 10:13 AM
Voicememo to accountant:
“Hello, good morning. I am integrating bookkeeping software with payroll and have several questions.
[insert questions]
I am also waiting for [redacted] at [payroll co.], my assigned support human, to wake up and respond to emails.
Keep him in your thoughts and prayers.”
“Hello, good morning. I am integrating bookkeeping software with payroll and have several questions.
[insert questions]
I am also waiting for [redacted] at [payroll co.], my assigned support human, to wake up and respond to emails.
Keep him in your thoughts and prayers.”
Closing my S Corp, which means valuing tangible assets, which means valuing a pile of gently used lingerie
This leaves me wondering who else from the professionally scantily clad trades has a spreadsheet tracking their impractical sexy garb
And what else might be on their spreadsheets
This leaves me wondering who else from the professionally scantily clad trades has a spreadsheet tracking their impractical sexy garb
And what else might be on their spreadsheets
October 31, 2025 at 8:58 AM
Closing my S Corp, which means valuing tangible assets, which means valuing a pile of gently used lingerie
This leaves me wondering who else from the professionally scantily clad trades has a spreadsheet tracking their impractical sexy garb
And what else might be on their spreadsheets
This leaves me wondering who else from the professionally scantily clad trades has a spreadsheet tracking their impractical sexy garb
And what else might be on their spreadsheets
You say “made”, I say “bestowed the opportunity to”
I made @stoya.bsky.social read Fanny Hill and talk about it with me for the upcoming @sandtclassics.bsky.social reissue of the seminal 18th-century pornographic novel. You can read our convo on @lithub.com.web.brid.gy. There are porn spoilers and other juicy delights:
Porn, But Also Literature: On John Cleland’s Fanny Hill
Banned from publication in the United States until 1966 for its assumed obscenity, immorality, and lack of literary merit, Fanny Hill, or Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure (1749), is a novel considere…
lithub.com
October 31, 2025 at 8:55 AM
You say “made”, I say “bestowed the opportunity to”
Why (in the sense of an actual question) is the extremely vast majority of dental hygiene products some kind of mint?
Related: did you know mint toothpaste isn’t supposed to burn like fire for a couple of hours after you brush? I didn’t until this summer
Related: did you know mint toothpaste isn’t supposed to burn like fire for a couple of hours after you brush? I didn’t until this summer
October 8, 2025 at 3:47 PM
Why (in the sense of an actual question) is the extremely vast majority of dental hygiene products some kind of mint?
Related: did you know mint toothpaste isn’t supposed to burn like fire for a couple of hours after you brush? I didn’t until this summer
Related: did you know mint toothpaste isn’t supposed to burn like fire for a couple of hours after you brush? I didn’t until this summer
Reposted by Jessica Stoya
As part of @everylibrary.bsky.social's roster of events for Banned Book Week (buy a banned book @bookshop.org), Jessica Stoya and I talked about Fanny Hill, criminal and civil book bans, and the US Supreme Court:
Why Fanny Hill Still Turns Heads with Chelsea G. Summers and Jessica Stoya
YouTube video by EveryLibrary
www.youtube.com
October 8, 2025 at 12:26 PM
As part of @everylibrary.bsky.social's roster of events for Banned Book Week (buy a banned book @bookshop.org), Jessica Stoya and I talked about Fanny Hill, criminal and civil book bans, and the US Supreme Court:
Reposted by Jessica Stoya
It's Banned Book Week, and I'm delighted to be part of @everylibrary.bsky.social's calendar of events by chatting with @stoya.bsky.social about Fanny Hill (aka Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure), a Very Banned book. I mean, it was banned in two countries, at least five times.
EveryLibrary Live! Banned Books 2025 Calendar
Join EveryLibrary Live! for Banned Books Week Fest 2025, a free online celebration featuring 25+ authors, editors, and advocates in bold conversations about storytelling, censorship, and the freedom t...
www.everylibrary.org
October 6, 2025 at 12:31 PM
It's Banned Book Week, and I'm delighted to be part of @everylibrary.bsky.social's calendar of events by chatting with @stoya.bsky.social about Fanny Hill (aka Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure), a Very Banned book. I mean, it was banned in two countries, at least five times.
This half drunk man was about to tell me why, for the past several months, he has been confidently assuming I am Russian despite my complete inability to roll an r
And then he got distracted
As tipsy people tend to
And then he got distracted
As tipsy people tend to
October 4, 2025 at 10:08 PM
This half drunk man was about to tell me why, for the past several months, he has been confidently assuming I am Russian despite my complete inability to roll an r
And then he got distracted
As tipsy people tend to
And then he got distracted
As tipsy people tend to
It is dumb! It is ignorant! And it also works in one of several ways when it is inescapable for prolonged periods of time.
I'm so used to seeing their politics as dumb and ignorant that I miss how insidious the intent behind statements like Vance's are.
October 4, 2025 at 7:36 PM
It is dumb! It is ignorant! And it also works in one of several ways when it is inescapable for prolonged periods of time.
My completely flaming hot take on “Wayward” is that, as much as it drastically underplays the reality of teen reprogramming camps, it serves as a palatable-to-the-blissfully-uninitiated primer on some of the mind warping tactics
Which are often used by the current US administration
Which are often used by the current US administration
Weaponized gratitude is a key tool in the abuser's toolkit. The goal is to convince the victim that they owe the abuser so much, they should feel guilty for wanting to complain.
October 4, 2025 at 6:16 PM
My completely flaming hot take on “Wayward” is that, as much as it drastically underplays the reality of teen reprogramming camps, it serves as a palatable-to-the-blissfully-uninitiated primer on some of the mind warping tactics
Which are often used by the current US administration
Which are often used by the current US administration
… they please replace it with one that is actually representative of how I tend to look?
So, now that the US government is shutting down nonessential operations, is it a good time to tell the consulate that I really dislike my passport photo because I got too close to the old one expiring when I was still recalibrating from a deeply regrettable (and failed) hormone treatment so could…
October 1, 2025 at 11:32 AM
… they please replace it with one that is actually representative of how I tend to look?
So, now that the US government is shutting down nonessential operations, is it a good time to tell the consulate that I really dislike my passport photo because I got too close to the old one expiring when I was still recalibrating from a deeply regrettable (and failed) hormone treatment so could…
October 1, 2025 at 11:31 AM
So, now that the US government is shutting down nonessential operations, is it a good time to tell the consulate that I really dislike my passport photo because I got too close to the old one expiring when I was still recalibrating from a deeply regrettable (and failed) hormone treatment so could…
“Allowed to focus on… where we feel our voices will be effective” 💕
Yes and also we all aren't outrage jukeboxes, you can't just press a button and have us be outraged on request. We're all allowed to focus on what we want and where we feel our voices will be effective right now, and trust that others will fight the other fights worth fighting. It's a group effort.
Them: Where was your outrage for [awful thing unrelated to the post they're replying to]??!
Me: ... Clearly you don't actually follow me on social media where I've been ranting for years. 🙄
Me: ... Clearly you don't actually follow me on social media where I've been ranting for years. 🙄
September 24, 2025 at 8:51 AM
“Allowed to focus on… where we feel our voices will be effective” 💕
I stay in my own lane and I avoid a lot of pain
September 20, 2025 at 8:18 PM
I stay in my own lane and I avoid a lot of pain
In which Rich Juzwiak really knocks it out of the park on sexualized labor, and I am that much more proud to be his colleague
slate.com/advice/2025/...
For @slate.com’s How To Do It column
slate.com/advice/2025/...
For @slate.com’s How To Do It column
My Wife Told Me She Got a “Promotion” at Work. Then I Found Out What She’s Really Been Doing.
This isn't exactly how I want her to support our family.
slate.com
September 20, 2025 at 4:53 PM
In which Rich Juzwiak really knocks it out of the park on sexualized labor, and I am that much more proud to be his colleague
slate.com/advice/2025/...
For @slate.com’s How To Do It column
slate.com/advice/2025/...
For @slate.com’s How To Do It column
I do pay a little extra for the hand-holding tier
It works out as less expensive and more efficient than bothering lawyers and accountants with things that are below their level but above my head when I first encounter them
It works out as less expensive and more efficient than bothering lawyers and accountants with things that are below their level but above my head when I first encounter them
I love the payroll company I use in the US
Every time, I get nervous. Revert to North Carolina accent. Say things like “do you have some kind of add on that keeps track of numbers things that aren’t payroll?”
Then I apologize and explain that I write about non-business subjects
They’re patient
Every time, I get nervous. Revert to North Carolina accent. Say things like “do you have some kind of add on that keeps track of numbers things that aren’t payroll?”
Then I apologize and explain that I write about non-business subjects
They’re patient
September 18, 2025 at 8:24 PM
I do pay a little extra for the hand-holding tier
It works out as less expensive and more efficient than bothering lawyers and accountants with things that are below their level but above my head when I first encounter them
It works out as less expensive and more efficient than bothering lawyers and accountants with things that are below their level but above my head when I first encounter them
I love the payroll company I use in the US
Every time, I get nervous. Revert to North Carolina accent. Say things like “do you have some kind of add on that keeps track of numbers things that aren’t payroll?”
Then I apologize and explain that I write about non-business subjects
They’re patient
Every time, I get nervous. Revert to North Carolina accent. Say things like “do you have some kind of add on that keeps track of numbers things that aren’t payroll?”
Then I apologize and explain that I write about non-business subjects
They’re patient
September 18, 2025 at 8:06 PM
I love the payroll company I use in the US
Every time, I get nervous. Revert to North Carolina accent. Say things like “do you have some kind of add on that keeps track of numbers things that aren’t payroll?”
Then I apologize and explain that I write about non-business subjects
They’re patient
Every time, I get nervous. Revert to North Carolina accent. Say things like “do you have some kind of add on that keeps track of numbers things that aren’t payroll?”
Then I apologize and explain that I write about non-business subjects
They’re patient
With a little more executive function, the past two days could have each been half at my desk and half on my feet
Alas…
Alas…
September 18, 2025 at 5:48 PM
With a little more executive function, the past two days could have each been half at my desk and half on my feet
Alas…
Alas…
My orbs were titillated
I injected nothing balsamic
Only thoughts and opinions
But I suppose some of those could be considered tart, sweet, or simultaneously both
I injected nothing balsamic
Only thoughts and opinions
But I suppose some of those could be considered tart, sweet, or simultaneously both
Anyway preorder this new edition of Fanny Hill with a forward by me and a conversation with @stoya.bsky.social. It'll titillate your twin orbs and perhaps induce a balsamic injection.
September 18, 2025 at 12:31 PM
My orbs were titillated
I injected nothing balsamic
Only thoughts and opinions
But I suppose some of those could be considered tart, sweet, or simultaneously both
I injected nothing balsamic
Only thoughts and opinions
But I suppose some of those could be considered tart, sweet, or simultaneously both
Reposted by Jessica Stoya
Anyway preorder this new edition of Fanny Hill with a forward by me and a conversation with @stoya.bsky.social. It'll titillate your twin orbs and perhaps induce a balsamic injection.
September 18, 2025 at 8:52 AM
Anyway preorder this new edition of Fanny Hill with a forward by me and a conversation with @stoya.bsky.social. It'll titillate your twin orbs and perhaps induce a balsamic injection.
Reposted by Jessica Stoya
Reminder that Fanny Hill was banned, litigated, expurgated, rereleased, banned, litigated, edited, rereleased, banned in the UK, banned in the US, litigated, rereleased, and now faces potential bans again. All this for a book with no expletives and espouses a clearly capitalist bourgeoise agenda.
Are you starving for beauty? Well feast your eyes on the official 2026 Smith & Taylor Classics line-up!
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📮 Preorder our annual subscription service at unnamedpress.com now to receive books throughout the year!
September 18, 2025 at 8:50 AM
Reminder that Fanny Hill was banned, litigated, expurgated, rereleased, banned, litigated, edited, rereleased, banned in the UK, banned in the US, litigated, rereleased, and now faces potential bans again. All this for a book with no expletives and espouses a clearly capitalist bourgeoise agenda.
After a ten hour workday, which included makeup and also bits of cleaning during slim chunks of down time which would otherwise have been wasted
I need to remove the makeup
(Which includes primer, light foundation and powder, and mascara)
Why didn’t I train Pixelcat how to help with this?
I need to remove the makeup
(Which includes primer, light foundation and powder, and mascara)
Why didn’t I train Pixelcat how to help with this?
September 17, 2025 at 6:44 PM
After a ten hour workday, which included makeup and also bits of cleaning during slim chunks of down time which would otherwise have been wasted
I need to remove the makeup
(Which includes primer, light foundation and powder, and mascara)
Why didn’t I train Pixelcat how to help with this?
I need to remove the makeup
(Which includes primer, light foundation and powder, and mascara)
Why didn’t I train Pixelcat how to help with this?
Reposted by Jessica Stoya
“Anything that has a new smell may have a mouse in it” - ancient cat proverb
September 14, 2025 at 2:07 PM
“Anything that has a new smell may have a mouse in it” - ancient cat proverb
This cat is precious
Widget does not care whether I am in a sit-able position at all
Unless I have a new-to-him smell
Because he is a happy little pillow on the corner of the couch or bed
There’s almost always an outlier
Widget does not care whether I am in a sit-able position at all
Unless I have a new-to-him smell
Because he is a happy little pillow on the corner of the couch or bed
There’s almost always an outlier
September 14, 2025 at 5:37 PM
This cat is precious
Widget does not care whether I am in a sit-able position at all
Unless I have a new-to-him smell
Because he is a happy little pillow on the corner of the couch or bed
There’s almost always an outlier
Widget does not care whether I am in a sit-able position at all
Unless I have a new-to-him smell
Because he is a happy little pillow on the corner of the couch or bed
There’s almost always an outlier