Stephen Monteith, World's Greatest Secret Author
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stephens.website
Stephen Monteith, World's Greatest Secret Author
@stephens.website
770 followers 370 following 6.6K posts
Self-published author, mostly sci-fi and fantasy with occasional forays into other fields. I also offer editing and beta-reading services. If you share A.I.-generated content, I'll Mute you; if you *create* it, I'll Block you. #ActuallyAutistic He/Him/His
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stephens.website
I love going for runs/walks at the oceanfront, even when it's 40F. The sky and the ocean were both so blue.
The oceanfront. The oceanfront. The oceanfront.
January 13, 2026 at 2:21 AM
stephens.website
In the last six and a half hours, I've added over 3,200 words to the first novella in my fantasy series "The Trials of Seffin Phel", concluding the major editing for that book, leaving one more new section to be added to Book Three and some minor editing across all three books before republishing.
A fantasy world map with various locations and landmarks labeled with fantasy names.
January 12, 2026 at 8:24 AM
stephens.website
To help with both motivation and keeping up with word count, I have devised a very simple method. #WriterSky #AuthorSky #BookSky
The bottom of a desktop computer screen with a sticky note on which the number 16,521 has been written.
January 9, 2026 at 4:25 PM
stephens.website
I will always ship these two (and maybe Kay as a co-top).
A still from the anime "Girls und Panzer". Five girls in green and white school uniforms are eating dinner together. The one farthest to the right is excitedly running her hands through her floofy hair because she thinks "Nishizumi-dono confessed her love to me!" The others are sitting/kneeling calmly because they know that's not what actually happened.
January 6, 2026 at 2:35 PM
stephens.website
It's been exactly 30 years since the final #CalvinAndHobbes comic strip. Happy New Year, explorers!
A Calvin and Hobbes comic strip. Calvin is a young boy and Hobbes is a tiger. They're out in the woods in the winter snow carrying a toboggan, on which they go sledding in the final panel. Their dialogue goes like this: Calvin: Wow, it really snowed last night! Isn't it wonderful? Hobbes: Everything familiar has disappeared! The world looks brand-new! Calvin: A new year...a fresh, clean start! Hobbes: It's like having a big white sheet of paper to draw on! Calvin: A day full of possibilities! It's a magical world, Hobbes, ol' buddy...let's go exploring!
December 31, 2025 at 7:34 PM
stephens.website
What I'm wearing on New Year's Eve (by total coincidence). The alt text has the full Doctor Who quote.
A bathroom selfie of a white man (me) wearing a gray Doctor Who t-shirt that says "People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff".
December 31, 2025 at 6:18 PM
stephens.website
Drop someone blonde.
Two young women in front of a tree, both wearing red jackets with white fringe and blue skirts. One is blonde with long curls and a red bow in her hair. The other has short, brownish-red hair. The blonde has a scrunched, blushing face and is trying to push away the brunette, but the brunette is smiling wide and trying to hug the blonde. These are the characters Claire Francois and Rae Taylor from the anime "I'm in Love with the Villainess", and the watermark in the top left corner reads "crunchyroll", the platform where the anime may be watched.
December 31, 2025 at 2:57 AM
stephens.website
Later, guys. My ride is here.
The starship Enterprise D, from Star Trek The Next Generation.
December 31, 2025 at 2:48 AM
stephens.website
Some advice for New Year's Eve.
An image of a text post by "Dad Jokes". The text reads: Remember to poop before midnight tomorrow. You don't want to be carrying the same shit into the next year.
December 30, 2025 at 5:59 PM
stephens.website
You wanna know why I think Avatar hasn't had much "cultural impact"? No merchandising. Here I am sitting down to a 3D viewing, and no movie tie-in stuff. Not even commemorative 3D specs. *shrugs* Oh, well.
A pair of jeans-clad legs on which sit a set of 3D glasses that need to be returned to the theater after the movie.
December 28, 2025 at 12:03 AM
stephens.website
I don't know what genius invented these, but I hope they never have to work another day in their life. (I will say, the flavor isn't like orange the fruit, but it *could* be described as orange the color.)
A package of orange Hostess Cup Cakes.
December 26, 2025 at 5:33 PM
stephens.website
Dinner is served.
Cheistmas dinner, consisting of, from right to left, a bowl of jellied cranberry sauce, a bowl of mashed potatoes, a jar of apple sauce, a bowl of stuffing, a carton of eggnog, some of which has been poured into a glass, and a glass baking pan with melted marshmallows, underneath which are sweet potatoes with pineapple bits. An empty plate waits in the bottom right corner to be filled with food.
December 25, 2025 at 8:19 PM
stephens.website
I suppose you could say my maps are my "gift" to myself. Some say they're unnecessary, even for a fantasy story, but I don't care. I've always loved them, I've always wanted them, and now I have my own.
A fantasy world map with various locations and landmarks given fantasy names.
December 25, 2025 at 8:00 PM
stephens.website
Have a very Yuri Christmas. #ILTV #WataOshi #ImInLoveWithTheVillainess
Two characters from the anime "I'm in Love with the Villainess". Miss Claire has long blonde curls and is dressed in a Santa-themed dress and cap, holding a sack of presumably toys. Rae Taylor, with short hair and a gift in her hands, is looking very excited to be dressed as Santa Claire's reindeer.
December 25, 2025 at 5:57 PM
stephens.website
Here's a reminder, if anyone needs it, that "Dagger of the Mind" is a Christmas episode. It even has a character named "Noel".
Two characters from the TV show "Star Trek". Helen Noel is asking Captain Kirk if he remembers "The Science Lab Christmas Party?" Kirk is looking very uncomfortable.
December 25, 2025 at 5:50 PM
stephens.website
May I welcome you to Christmas morning?
The sun over the ocean on Christmas morning.
December 25, 2025 at 3:07 PM
stephens.website
Possibly my favorite Christmas movie of all time. It makes me feel all the feels (including the panic of one who has had his tail set on fire).
An image from the movie "The Muppet Christmas Carol". Two Muppets, The Great Gonzo and Rizzo the Rat, are dressed as 19th century lamplighters, and Gonzo is trying to light the lamp, but he sets Rizzo's tail on fire, instead. Text at the bottom of the image says "IT'S NOT CHRISTMAS UNTIL YOU LIGHT THE LAMP, NOT THE RAT, LIGHT THE LAMP NOT THE RAT! PUT ME OUT, PUT ME OUT!"
December 25, 2025 at 2:00 AM
stephens.website
Was slicing eggs to make deviled eggs for tomorrow, and I found one with a double-yolk.
A hard-boiled egg sliced in half, revealing that it has a double-yolk.
December 24, 2025 at 10:07 PM
stephens.website
I will never be as creative as the time I found a stringy piece of cheese and recreated this moment from "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea".
A stringy piece of cheese that vaguely resembles a squid "attacking" a piece of paper twisted into the vague shape of a submarine.
December 24, 2025 at 2:01 AM
stephens.website
And there's no greater metaphor for this than Mount Rushmore. The faces of two slave owners, one of whom was responsible for the Louisiana Purchase, and the imperialist Theodore Roosevelt carved into a mountain once known as "Six Grandfathers", a place of reverence. We should have left it alone.
A black and white picture of the mountain formerly known as Six Grandfathers before it had the faces of four presidents carved into it. Text on the image reads: "Mount Rushmore before it was carved. Its natural beauty was unpresidented."
December 23, 2025 at 7:08 PM
stephens.website
Some advice when shopping at a small business on the holidays:
A tweet with the text: What to do if your small business package doesn't arrive before Christmas: 1. Print out a photo of the items you bought. 2. Wrap it up and give it as the gift & tell the receiver that it's on their way to them. 3. Not get mad at the small business who can't control it.
December 20, 2025 at 3:21 AM
stephens.website
How it's going. #fantasy #fantasymap #map #WriterSky #WonderDraft
Black and white map of a fantasy land with four major regions and several smaller areas labeled. Same map colored mostly in greens and tans.
December 20, 2025 at 2:28 AM
stephens.website
Fake. There have already been enough real trees cut down for no reason.
A picture of two Christmas trees, labeled as "Real vs Fake", with the words "The Great Debate" at the bottom.
December 19, 2025 at 3:53 PM
stephens.website
Today is the twins' birthday. #WataOshi #ILTV #ImInLoveWithTheVillainess
Characters from the "I'm in Love with the Villainess" franchise. Two women in red and white dresses stand in back. The twin girls in the front have blonde hair. One wears a pink dress with red trim, and the other wears a pink dress with blue trim.
December 13, 2025 at 10:23 PM
stephens.website
Here are a couple of variants. I still need to do something about the rivers. #fantasy #fantasymap #WriterSky
A black-and-white fantasy map with mountains, forests, and names of cities and regions. An unlabeled fantasy map, with mountains, forests, and a small river system.
December 13, 2025 at 8:08 PM