Thanks Greg! ❤️ hope you’re having a great December so far

That’s so cool! Congrats and have fun!

So true

All of the above!

In a world where you can basically do anything with your free time, it’s hard to get out of a rut once you’re in one.

All of this is to say, no dnd today, my roommates are busy, so I’m feeling a little lost and sad, and this reminds me that I’d like to form better habits for my leisure time. I’d like some furry socializing time too. Maybe streaming art is the way to go. Maybe vrc? That’s a whole intimidating world.

I spend a decent amount of time reading manga, graphic novels, and books before bed. I listen to podcasts here and there. Don’t watch much “tv” but I have a Dropout subscription and Crunchyroll. It’s not all gaming, but the majority of my leisure time is spent gaming.

It’s so much easier to go to work, and come home to shut off my brain for the day. Play a game and not have to think about anything outside of that. I mostly just game when I’m home. Strictly speaking that’s ok, but I’d like to make more time for other things. It’s hard to be in the right mindset.

Cognitively, i’d love it if I were making art or learning music or learning to use unreal/blender/unity/godot to make models/games rather than playing the same few games on repeat, scouring my library for “just the right game” or browsing the Steam store nonstop for “just the right game.” But

I’m always looking for the next video game that I can sink hundreds of hours into. A game that “feels really good to play.” Something to distract from, you know, everything. To forget that I’m lonely and I feel like the world I wanted to believe in is gone, and I live in the shitty timeline actually

I think I actively need to be engaging with the part of me that would rather just play video games and remind myself that no video game is gonna give me exactly what I crave all the time. I hate to say it might be an addiction, but I certainly don’t have a normal relationship with video games.

I’d like to approach art in a different way. Treat it in a more gamified way for my idiot brain. Small achievable goals. Act like I’m building a character in a game and watching numbers go up as I line, ink, and shade. It’s hard to get myself to do anything sometimes.

I think it’s a matter of it taking much much less effort to quietly play video games in my room rather than draw, or try to engage socially with friends online (what friends? I did such a good job isolating between covid and major depression episodes I basically have nobody).

Mulch gang for life!! Sisters of the loam unite!

*had one beer on an empty stomach*

Moderation in all things, my friends! I’m a cheap date 👀