I think that's part of what's made me so angry about it

I want to talk to them (throttle them in my DMs) but I don't like that it feels like they want to drag me into the public eye.

I'm tired of being under the magnifying glass

I really have been through a lot, but I don't think I'll ever have the pleasure of being vindicated in my decision making.

Not that it's their business.
I'm a grown woman, and they don't get to debate and mentalise about what would have been best for me as though I'm a character in a soap opera

But tt hurts that people seeing only the public side of me being happy and moving on leads them to conclusions on my character

I'm so grateful that I've been able to surround myself with so much support.

I wish every trans woman had what I had

All I can do is give back what I'm given though

I cried when we were done

I cried when my cis female colleague invited me to a girls' shopping day

I cried when my girlfriend said I looked like a woman in some of the clothes I bought

I cried after the salon when the hairdresser asked me what my pronouns were

I'm so lucky
but it is so much

this is really vague and uninformative but I don't know how much I should say

Yeahh, you're right that I need to be mindful of that.

I do wish it felt easier to not worry about it but it's hard when it doesn't feel like anyone involved deserves the hand they've got

I'm dreading the moment when the time comes for me to get up, and I feel the boot of capitalism kicking me in the side because it's time to sell my labour again.

I'm dreading it because I'm really scared I'm not going to be ready to be on my feet again and there's nothing I can do about it

I think this past week and a half is maybe the first time in a long time I've ever gotten off the proverbial treadmill and it's so nice to just... drift. Focus on myself, my recovery. To just kinda curl up and lie there without any real expectations.

Instead I got stupid toxic masculinity pressing in on me, an all boys school and a sense of never quite being like my peers