Tissues is absolutely a ragebaiter and i love that for him

by blends in horribly i mean that like the lines are confusing and you cant tell in that specific area whats going on bcs the lines are nonsensical 😭

i dont know how this could ever be misinterpreted as human art when that shit with the wing is a mistake that no human could ever make. its one thing to draw it wrong but its straight up not even holding anything and blends in horribly with the speech balloon. gross

so yeah if my art shit slows down more than it already has its bcs im letting my art be more personal and also bcs im focusing on IRL personal shit. bcs yeah, leisure activities like playing video games or picking a TV show to watch shouldnt be this detrimental chore. i dont wanna rot, i wanna rest

but those small aspects add up! and improving even slightly in these few areas is doing wonders and im just. soooo proud of myself. and im sorry for ranting so much lately about my mental health on main but its a big focus for me right now

-about my art but now its like so so SO much more intense and art is feeling fun and free again which is really all i want out of it. i made some changes and evaluated why i actually make art at all and it opened my eyes a lot. but yeah thats all like small aspects of it

and ive been looser in my sketchbook and not forcing myself to like make anything look good (its a sketchbook, its supposed to be ugly!) which is also helping. like a lot. honestly even before i started specifically targeting my mental health i was feeling a bit of a difference and feeling better-

today i finished a painting just for me with no plans to post it, at least not yet, and i only showed my friends and nobody else. it might get posted but not for a few days so i can decide if its worth going up. and it felt good! i also have some unfinished sketches that felt good to draw...

and its gotten down to a point of me only really doing art anymore because i post online so i make myself do it just to do it but im miserable the whole time and dont wanna make anything. but im getting there slowly and already noticing some improvement!

i think its a mix of executive dysfunction making it hard for me to do anything and depression making most of my hobbies unappealing and general short attention span which has been worse since ~the pandemic~, so its just an amalgam of BS making me only wanna lay in bed and rot all day every day

in fairness this is just one aspect of a larger and more detrimental problem that I AM TRYING TO SOLVE! ive been getting house work done, curating my online feeds actively, making more art and im hopefully gonna start reaching a point where my other hobbies start feeling fun again...

like i have limited time on this beautiful planet why am i wasting it letting myself be miserable over goddamn youtube of all things

cuz i think of it as like, im wasting my time, you know? what am i actually getting out of sitting there scrolling. and scrolling. watching videos that i dont get anything out of. like i Know what i actually wanna watch. mainly art & fandom stuff