I am going to write right now because fuck it, gotta try things. My brain is not working well. I got maybe 4 hours of sleep?

Moving day.

Went out to run some errands - drop off a return, dispose of some expired prescription meds, get cash.

Decided to sit for a cappuccino at my favorite neighborhood coffee shop one last time.

What if I just.

Stayed here?

Heh.

Ha, since I found out about our impending move and my husband left to go work in SF for a month…

I have either been coping very poorly (considering the about of emotional distress I’ve been in)

or very well (considering the amount of emotional distress I’ve been in)

It's my last day of employment til I don't know when. I am the last one here.

I am moving across the country later this week. I am unlikely to ever set foot in this room again. I am in the process of removing traces of my presence. Not all of them. Never all of them. A place like this has ghosts.

So from just this story I think my husband sounds like a pretty upstanding guy who's just trying his best to take care of his family while weathering the outbursts from his difficult and selfish slut wife

Yesterday was intense. Day of my older daughter's birthday party. I'd stayed up late the night before working on decorating her cake and also despairing over a bit of an arguement I'd had with my husband over conflicting plans for the night after the birthday party.

Today I commented on being hard on myself to my best friend, and how other people tend to seem really put off by me being that way

probably just paranoia, but a question someone asked me made my brain go (see image) and I wondered if they’d seen this account

I’m a little annoyed at how my therapist accepts my frame and responds to me like I’m being a reasonable person

does it look like I’m being a reasonable person to you

does it

o.O

I don’t regularly have caffeine

Had a green tea this morning and I feel great, chipper and happy

But I know if I did this every day it would stop being so effective

Damn homeostasis