So… what if the claims of overdiagnosis aren't only driven by ignorance and a failure of empathy, but also by fear?
An unconscious worry that - without their privileges and supports - the broader diagnostic criteria might include them too. 7/7

Birds of a feather flock together and neurodiversity is hereditary so they have family or friends whose children are diagnosed with ADHD and/or autism.
But ignorance and stigma mean they look at them and think, “That’s not me.” 6/7

That’s not to say these sceptics go unscathed. Like anyone struggling without an accurate diagnosis or support, they accumulate trauma and shame. They struggle with addiction, burnout and relationship problems.
Education and affluence just make it easier to mask and survive without going under. 5/7

Except it’s not so easy if you haven’t found your niche, don’t look or sound the part, lack connections, or don’t have confidence.
In a UK reeling from austerity, Brexit and Covid, the cost of living with undiagnosed neurodiversity takes a huge toll on your mental and financial health. 4/7

They hear people who understand and accept their own diagnosis describe their difficulties and think:
“Doesn’t everyone deal with that? It's just the normal stresses of life. I cope without ear defenders. I overcome my social anxiety. Why can’t you? Just get on with it.” 3/7

These careers appeal to their strong moral compass and passionate interests. Their ability to identify patterns, “say it like it is,” and ask difficult questions lead to professional success.
They might get accused of being out of touch sometimes, but a lifetime of masking helps them perform. 2/7

Hopefully it's not that for you. But probably worth exploring if an actual medically trained person has the same suspicions. I had quite a few really annoying symptoms completely disappear once I got it under control that I'd not even realised could be MCAS.

Seafood can be high in histamine so you could be reacting to that. Histamine intolerance and/or MCAS are more fun features of the Neurodiversity Comorbidity Expansion Pack - Extended Edition. I'm really hoping to not complete this collection, but I keep getting older and unlocking new fun features!

Don't expect her to be able to put in quite as much into looking after others as she might have been able to in the past. You will either have to fill gaps yourself or draft in help if you can from friends, family, therapists, cleaners etc.

My Perimenopause with AuDHD has been hellish. Educate yourself, take her experiences seriously and encourage her to explore if HRT a possibility. Read up about the endless symptoms - all sensory torture. Try not to take any raging personally.

There's even a scene in Ferris Bueller on this!

"In 1930, the Republican controlled House of Representatives, in an effort to alleviate the effects of the Great Depression, passed the Smoot-Hawley Act which raised tariffs... It did not work and the US sank deeper into the Great Depression."