Shortarida
@shortarida.bsky.social
He/Him/Indigestion
I've been dying to tell you about the mail.
I've been dying to tell you about the mail.
Pinned
Shortarida
@shortarida.bsky.social
· Jul 25
The Kaptain Krickets Texting Thread.
Oscar LOVES the smell of a 5.8 menthol Halls cough drop.
February 7, 2026 at 8:20 PM
Oscar LOVES the smell of a 5.8 menthol Halls cough drop.
I wish I liked Miso Soup.
February 7, 2026 at 1:27 PM
I wish I liked Miso Soup.
7.5 menthol halls honey and lemon, thats the only ones.
February 1, 2026 at 6:30 PM
7.5 menthol halls honey and lemon, thats the only ones.
*looking at a category on HBO with some of my favorite movies of all time* I don't like this genre.
January 30, 2026 at 1:53 AM
*looking at a category on HBO with some of my favorite movies of all time* I don't like this genre.
I guess I'm just different because I like to experience joy and laugh.
January 28, 2026 at 3:30 AM
I guess I'm just different because I like to experience joy and laugh.
I gotta do steroids so my penis is gonna be so small does anybody wanna fuck me?
January 27, 2026 at 9:35 PM
I gotta do steroids so my penis is gonna be so small does anybody wanna fuck me?
I am the youngest person in this pulmonologoist office by 30+ years and they told me I won the "Lowest blood pressure of the day" award 😎
January 27, 2026 at 7:43 PM
I am the youngest person in this pulmonologoist office by 30+ years and they told me I won the "Lowest blood pressure of the day" award 😎
Time to see a pull-my-nodules-ist.
January 27, 2026 at 6:45 PM
Time to see a pull-my-nodules-ist.
One time I'm praying on Septa to be unreliable and they wanna be operational tomorrow 🙄
January 26, 2026 at 1:46 AM
One time I'm praying on Septa to be unreliable and they wanna be operational tomorrow 🙄
Having some anti-masturbation snacks.
January 25, 2026 at 4:49 PM
Having some anti-masturbation snacks.
Spent the last 2 hours making a large volume of beautiful coconut curry soup with bok choy and it taste like shite, I'm gutted.
January 24, 2026 at 2:18 AM
Spent the last 2 hours making a large volume of beautiful coconut curry soup with bok choy and it taste like shite, I'm gutted.
I was on some type shit.
She was on some type shit.
We were both on some type shit.
She was on some type shit.
We were both on some type shit.
January 24, 2026 at 12:23 AM
I was on some type shit.
She was on some type shit.
We were both on some type shit.
She was on some type shit.
We were both on some type shit.
Reposted by Shortarida
All the members of Congress just now jumping on the "abolish ICE" train owe us a goddamn apology once they're done doing something about it.
January 21, 2026 at 11:09 PM
All the members of Congress just now jumping on the "abolish ICE" train owe us a goddamn apology once they're done doing something about it.
I DONT HAVE FUCKING CANCER!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭🥹🥹🥹😭🥹😭🥹😭
January 21, 2026 at 10:58 PM
I DONT HAVE FUCKING CANCER!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭🥹🥹🥹😭🥹😭🥹😭
Me suddenly now that I can't smoke anymore.
Fuckin stoners 😒😒😒
January 21, 2026 at 1:59 AM
Me suddenly now that I can't smoke anymore.
Oh lawd I'm coughin!
January 20, 2026 at 10:00 PM
Oh lawd I'm coughin!
SPOILER
The 16 year was shot like 3 minutes after I tweeted this 😭😭😭
The 16 year was shot like 3 minutes after I tweeted this 😭😭😭
Watching The Strain, everyone makes terrible fucking choices. Give me a gun and I'm shooting this idiot 16 year old, her mom, half the main cast, and not a single vampire. They're the only ones acting with any intelligence.
January 19, 2026 at 4:05 AM
SPOILER
The 16 year was shot like 3 minutes after I tweeted this 😭😭😭
The 16 year was shot like 3 minutes after I tweeted this 😭😭😭
Watching The Strain, everyone makes terrible fucking choices. Give me a gun and I'm shooting this idiot 16 year old, her mom, half the main cast, and not a single vampire. They're the only ones acting with any intelligence.
January 19, 2026 at 1:36 AM
Watching The Strain, everyone makes terrible fucking choices. Give me a gun and I'm shooting this idiot 16 year old, her mom, half the main cast, and not a single vampire. They're the only ones acting with any intelligence.
Generative AI is a nightmare and it sucks shit and it's all bad.
January 19, 2026 at 1:14 AM
Generative AI is a nightmare and it sucks shit and it's all bad.
Learning new vampire lore from The Strain. Like when you turn into a vampire your penis falls off.
January 18, 2026 at 3:50 AM
Learning new vampire lore from The Strain. Like when you turn into a vampire your penis falls off.
This is why I cant have a gun I would shoot that man.
January 18, 2026 at 1:04 AM
This is why I cant have a gun I would shoot that man.
Shall we make thick in the warm? 😏
January 13, 2026 at 4:24 PM
Shall we make thick in the warm? 😏
Why they got Eleven in a scuba suit the whole season.
January 12, 2026 at 1:07 AM
Why they got Eleven in a scuba suit the whole season.
Johnny's Big Day Out
January 11, 2026 at 7:08 PM
Johnny's Big Day Out