I will never find the perfect words
I will always do something wrong
And i should learn thats fine
But thats also impossible for me
I am close to you all forever, even if i can't say it
I cannot stop loving

Someone out there is laughing at me because i cannot help anyone and i only care of that for the love of me
That has to be it, a dumb joke or something

At times it feels like im being made fun of somehow

The moment the lie comes off i'm destroyed, everything else that involves me becomes unimportant and it always feels heartbreaking
It's not just that my friends are not okay or that i'd been lied to
It's that ive been blind and of no help at all

I fear at times i'm just looking for reassurance that my friends are fine
Even if i feel the doubt id rather ignore it and go on ignoring things people hide from me to not make me feel bad
I should change, i should really change
Ive never learned how to

Ive lost so much time
But i cant find the heart to go to sleep
What right do i have if others are in pain...

I know i'm talking to someone, most likely, someone can hear me
But also it's not there directly in front of me so i feel i cant be judged

God is that what i think of my friends

I write these things here because its slightly more bearable as a thought
It feels like talking into an empty theatre

Mai sentito un italiano dire "adoro" per qualcosa che gli piace...

HORSE GIRL?! GOOD LORD NOW IM HOOKED

I changed my handwriting by having fun making up my own way of writing some letterd,,, practicing wasn't boring if it was my way
Perhaps it could help you?

That's good to hear, thank you