Sean Bell
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seancmbell.bsky.social
Sean Bell
@seancmbell.bsky.social
460 followers 950 following 450 posts
Writer. Broke. Bylines: The Intercept, Heckle, Bella Caledonia, The National, The Herald, Source, Jacobin, openDemocracy. Scotland's leading expert on Elvis Presley-related sandwiches.
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seancmbell.bsky.social
Honourable mention: one of the books I consulted as part of the Very Serious Research for my first published piece of fiction
November 30, 2025 at 2:52 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
Next, this one I found in a cardboard box of free stuff outside a nearby storage container unit. Published in 1981, it is gloriously retro
November 30, 2025 at 2:44 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
First, this absolute behemoth a friend got me for my last birthday, as she knows my love of discovering regional American food unknown to the UK
America: The Cookbook
November 30, 2025 at 2:41 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
Scene from the Hunt for Red October: "I will live in Montana. And I will marry a round American woman and raise rabbits, and she will cook them for me."
November 29, 2025 at 9:06 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
Embittered reactionaries raging against the woke youth is old hat at this point, but only in Scotland could poetry critics, non-binary artists and creative writing graduates be attributed with more sinister power than the Illuminati and reptilian shapeshifters combined.
From Susan Dalgety's latest Scotsman column: "Excuse me while I stray out of my comfort zone of newspapers, social media and crime novels and into a world I know very little about – Scotland’s contemporary arts, literary and cultural scene. A world, it seems, largely populated by ‘cishet’ male poetry critics, non-binary performance artists and creative-writing graduates. Look beyond the Usher Hall and the Citizens Theatre, and you will find a publicly funded subculture dominated by a tribe of malcontents, millennials and entitled Gen Z-ers whose nose rings are as important to their standing in this milieu as their creative output." Homer Simpson: "Oh my god! Lyndon LaRouche was right!"
November 29, 2025 at 8:05 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
There are some opinions you shouldn't be allowed to publish unless you're willing to bet money on them
Scotsman headline: 'World Cup 2026: Why Donald Trump will be desperate to join Tartan Army's massive party The amazing atmosphere created by the Tartan Army will attract the attention of US President Donald Trump – and Scotland could use that to its advantage'
November 20, 2025 at 6:12 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
Artist's representation:
Mr Burns meets with Fidel Castro.
November 20, 2025 at 5:58 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
Still from Seinfeld of George driving a motorised scooter Subtitle: (Dramatic chase music)
November 20, 2025 at 5:51 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
"My God - Jimmy Hoffa!"
Headline: 'Conservationists lifted Mons Meg in the air - and we're delighted with what they found'
November 15, 2025 at 7:40 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
Still from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: The Sirius Cybernetics Corporation marketing division: "A bunch of mindless perks who'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes."
November 13, 2025 at 8:10 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
All these problems go away if you just make a new Derek Flint movie instead
James Cockburn as Derek Flint
November 11, 2025 at 12:12 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
Still from Young Frankenstein: "Do not use this brain! ABNORMAL"
November 8, 2025 at 6:49 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
VINDICATION
November 6, 2025 at 9:38 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
Snoozing dog.
November 6, 2025 at 9:24 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
"A planned memorial to writer extraordinaire Muriel Spark will need to be good"
Why? Her books weren't.
Scotsman headline: "One thing is certain about planned Muriel Spark memorial in Edinburgh's Princes Street Gardens... A planned memorial to writer extraordinaire Muriel Spark will need to be good"
November 5, 2025 at 7:53 AM
seancmbell.bsky.social
Scene from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: "That bitch is dead."
November 4, 2025 at 12:21 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
'The monarchy still represents the nation and what our history has made Britain'
Yes, that's kind of the problem, dipshit
Daily Telegraph headline: 'Robert Graves: The Crown has survived much worse than Andrew Republicans may sneer, but the monarchy still represents the nation and what our history has made Britain'
November 4, 2025 at 11:39 AM
seancmbell.bsky.social
But in all seriousness:
November 3, 2025 at 4:53 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
Apropos of nothing:
Headline: 'Was Sen Huey Long killed by an assassin, or his own bodyguards?'
November 3, 2025 at 4:02 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
We've gone from 'millennials eat too much avocado toast' to 'Gen Z aren't eating enough whole roast poultry'
Scotsman headline: '500 years of Christmas tradition at risk as young people snub turkey for pizza and chips'
October 31, 2025 at 6:10 AM
seancmbell.bsky.social
Jesus, take the wheel
Quote from Will Sloan's review of Woody Allen's first novel: "“Thane” is an unusual name that reminded me of Thaddeus, which was the name of one Mia Farrow’s adopted children, who committed suicide in 2016 at age 27. Is that a stretch? Similar alarm bells went off in my head in Coup de Chance, where the villain was a scorned husband who obsessed over an electric train set—which can’t help calling to mind a memorably chilling detail from Dylan Farrow’s 2014 open letter. Sometimes Allen’s post-cancellation work is autofiction, and other times it’s more like a dream journal. If you know nothing else about What’s With Baum?, you should know that it contains the following sentence, which lodged in my head like a silver bullet: “‘Is it any wonder every woman falls in love with Thane?’ his beaming mama would say. ‘I could if the law allowed.’”
October 30, 2025 at 5:38 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
On the one hand, this is a terrible hot dog order; on the other, this is probably the closest our reality will get to Elwood Blues asking Aretha Franklin for some dry white toast
"Springsteen’s sandwich order sounds absolutely repulsive. I simply cannot ride with Bruce Springsteen on this one. But Springsteen wasn’t just talking. In a 2020 Facebook post, an establishment called Max’s Bar & Grill confirmed on Facebook that Springsteen’s hot dog order is “classic” and posted a picture of Springsteen sitting down to enjoy a dog with nothing on it. Not one condiment, not one topping. Unsettling. In any case, someone needs to update the IMDB Goofs page for Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere."
October 29, 2025 at 9:01 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
Update: hearing further disturbing rumours about this 'Uncle Sam' character
Uncle Sam
October 28, 2025 at 8:25 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
ICYMI, my tribute to Assata Shakur for @heckle.scot
"Following the assassination of Charlie Kirk and Luigi Mangione’s alleged killing of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson last year, there has been much performative hand-wringing over the spectre of political violence; fear of being perceived as sympathetic to such violence or its motivations in any way has led many in the public sphere to debase themselves through grovelling mea culpas and sweaty tributes to the suddenly curtailed life of a white supremacist carnival barker. It has not, to put it mildly, been edifying." "Shakur lived free of this kind of cowardice, empowered by the understanding that the most prevalent and pervasive political violence in any society undergirded by capitalism, imperialism, racism and patriarchy is carried out by the state – a reality affirmed by the thuggish stormtroopers of ICE, the presence of troops on American streets, or the mere sight of a police uniform and all that it implies. Any and all who take issue with the revolutionary violence embraced by Shakur and her comrades must grapple with that."
October 27, 2025 at 2:48 PM
seancmbell.bsky.social
Especially considering the one they could have used
Kevin McKenna grovelling alongside Queen Elizabeth
October 27, 2025 at 2:12 PM