Shady Dell Public Library
@sdpl.bsky.social
By the time you spot the librarian, she’s already been watching you for some time.
Join us for MOVIE NIGHT, tonight at 6PM in the auditorium!
We apologize for last month’s technical difficulties. The projector switched to the CCTV feed; the audience watched live footage of themselves sitting in the darkened theater for quite some time before anyone noticed it wasn’t Zootopia.
We apologize for last month’s technical difficulties. The projector switched to the CCTV feed; the audience watched live footage of themselves sitting in the darkened theater for quite some time before anyone noticed it wasn’t Zootopia.
February 4, 2026 at 6:09 PM
Join us for MOVIE NIGHT, tonight at 6PM in the auditorium!
We apologize for last month’s technical difficulties. The projector switched to the CCTV feed; the audience watched live footage of themselves sitting in the darkened theater for quite some time before anyone noticed it wasn’t Zootopia.
We apologize for last month’s technical difficulties. The projector switched to the CCTV feed; the audience watched live footage of themselves sitting in the darkened theater for quite some time before anyone noticed it wasn’t Zootopia.
Our Executive Director announced in this morning’s staff meeting that he planned to cut SDPL’s book section.
When asked what a Library would be without books he raised his fists to the sky and screamed, “PROFIT! PURE PROFIT!” Lightning struck. Somewhere, a dog barked.
#booksky
When asked what a Library would be without books he raised his fists to the sky and screamed, “PROFIT! PURE PROFIT!” Lightning struck. Somewhere, a dog barked.
#booksky
The owner of Amazon killed the Washington Post books section.
February 4, 2026 at 5:43 PM
Our Executive Director announced in this morning’s staff meeting that he planned to cut SDPL’s book section.
When asked what a Library would be without books he raised his fists to the sky and screamed, “PROFIT! PURE PROFIT!” Lightning struck. Somewhere, a dog barked.
#booksky
When asked what a Library would be without books he raised his fists to the sky and screamed, “PROFIT! PURE PROFIT!” Lightning struck. Somewhere, a dog barked.
#booksky
Shortly after the Sinkhole Disaster, Agnes W., Head Librarian, realized the break room microwave was communicating with her in Morse code. She was warming baked cod when she observed a patter in the whirring: --./.-./---/.../... which means “gross”. It has had nothing nice to say to her since.
February 3, 2026 at 11:28 PM
Shortly after the Sinkhole Disaster, Agnes W., Head Librarian, realized the break room microwave was communicating with her in Morse code. She was warming baked cod when she observed a patter in the whirring: --./.-./---/.../... which means “gross”. It has had nothing nice to say to her since.
Note to patrons that the sinkhole settled in the night & claimed the entirety of Meeting Room A & several of the stalls in the basement gender neutral bathroom.
All programs scheduled for Meeting Room A have been moved to Meeting Room B as we work to stabilize the foundation and halt the entropy.
All programs scheduled for Meeting Room A have been moved to Meeting Room B as we work to stabilize the foundation and halt the entropy.
February 3, 2026 at 9:05 PM
Note to patrons that the sinkhole settled in the night & claimed the entirety of Meeting Room A & several of the stalls in the basement gender neutral bathroom.
All programs scheduled for Meeting Room A have been moved to Meeting Room B as we work to stabilize the foundation and halt the entropy.
All programs scheduled for Meeting Room A have been moved to Meeting Room B as we work to stabilize the foundation and halt the entropy.
Shady Dell Public Library: Come for the Books, Stay Because There Is A Pall Over the Exit
February 3, 2026 at 5:17 PM
Shady Dell Public Library: Come for the Books, Stay Because There Is A Pall Over the Exit
Update: Valerie R., HR Administrative Assistant, has discovered that if she edges along the wall & holds her breath, she can bypass the dead zone (between the admin offices & staff ladies’ room) unscathed.
It’s made her a pariah in the break room, but at least she can remember her mother’s face.
It’s made her a pariah in the break room, but at least she can remember her mother’s face.
February 3, 2026 at 4:45 PM
Update: Valerie R., HR Administrative Assistant, has discovered that if she edges along the wall & holds her breath, she can bypass the dead zone (between the admin offices & staff ladies’ room) unscathed.
It’s made her a pariah in the break room, but at least she can remember her mother’s face.
It’s made her a pariah in the break room, but at least she can remember her mother’s face.
This is who runs this account
February 3, 2026 at 4:02 PM
This is who runs this account
Shady Dell’s resident groundhog, Alice, saw something at this morning’s ceremony, but it wasn’t her shadow. She wouldn’t even look at the ground—fixating, instead, on a certain window on the Library’s 3rd floor. She whined & cowered in fear, staring at that window, until the Zookeeper sedated her.
February 3, 2026 at 5:33 AM
Shady Dell’s resident groundhog, Alice, saw something at this morning’s ceremony, but it wasn’t her shadow. She wouldn’t even look at the ground—fixating, instead, on a certain window on the Library’s 3rd floor. She whined & cowered in fear, staring at that window, until the Zookeeper sedated her.
“A librarian’s relationship to her stacks is abiding. After so many years together, each book on the shelf harbors a part of her soul; when she dies, then, it’s no surprise that she’s still very much there, alive in the stacks. Old librarians don’t die; they simply stop working with the public.”
February 2, 2026 at 7:19 PM
“A librarian’s relationship to her stacks is abiding. After so many years together, each book on the shelf harbors a part of her soul; when she dies, then, it’s no surprise that she’s still very much there, alive in the stacks. Old librarians don’t die; they simply stop working with the public.”
Spotlight on Valerie R., Human Resources Administrative Assistant, who has observed a small dead zone in the hallway between the SDPL admin offices & the staff ladies‘ room. When she walks through this area, it is suddenly 20 seconds later & she can’t recall her mom’s maiden name. Only briefly.
February 2, 2026 at 12:08 AM
Spotlight on Valerie R., Human Resources Administrative Assistant, who has observed a small dead zone in the hallway between the SDPL admin offices & the staff ladies‘ room. When she walks through this area, it is suddenly 20 seconds later & she can’t recall her mom’s maiden name. Only briefly.
Diana M., Local History Librarian, has been located working as a line cook at Panda Express in Ozark! She claims to have no memory of working for SDPL or of her extensive research here. “Please, go away!” she said, but when she reached to untie her apron we saw the distinctive upper arm tattoo.
February 1, 2026 at 11:07 PM
Diana M., Local History Librarian, has been located working as a line cook at Panda Express in Ozark! She claims to have no memory of working for SDPL or of her extensive research here. “Please, go away!” she said, but when she reached to untie her apron we saw the distinctive upper arm tattoo.
Did you know? The barn featured in local author Ruth Maynard’s seminal 1988 horror novel, Moon People, still stands in the woods behind the Main Branch. The barn has been closed to the public since the copycat kidnappings of the mid-90s, but SDPL still hosts occasional craft programs at the venue.
February 1, 2026 at 10:34 PM
Did you know? The barn featured in local author Ruth Maynard’s seminal 1988 horror novel, Moon People, still stands in the woods behind the Main Branch. The barn has been closed to the public since the copycat kidnappings of the mid-90s, but SDPL still hosts occasional craft programs at the venue.
Meet Agnes T., Children’s Librarian. Prior to starting at SDPL, Agnes T. hadn’t worked with kids, & she doesn’t plan to start now. In fact, she finds kids unsettling. Why do they stare at the corner? Eyes wide, jaws slack? There’s nothing in that corner. The corner is FINE. It’s a normal corner.
February 1, 2026 at 10:04 PM
Meet Agnes T., Children’s Librarian. Prior to starting at SDPL, Agnes T. hadn’t worked with kids, & she doesn’t plan to start now. In fact, she finds kids unsettling. Why do they stare at the corner? Eyes wide, jaws slack? There’s nothing in that corner. The corner is FINE. It’s a normal corner.
Reminder that Franklin Branch Library Librarians are NOT librarians. They are barely even human.
January 31, 2026 at 3:53 PM
Reminder that Franklin Branch Library Librarians are NOT librarians. They are barely even human.
Agnes O., Reference Librarian, looks out the window at the peaceful snow which blanketed Shady Dell overnight and idly wonders why, though the reading room is positively packed with patrons, there isn’t a single footprint leading up to the library’s entrance.
January 31, 2026 at 1:04 AM
Agnes O., Reference Librarian, looks out the window at the peaceful snow which blanketed Shady Dell overnight and idly wonders why, though the reading room is positively packed with patrons, there isn’t a single footprint leading up to the library’s entrance.
Repairs are complete & the Thoth Conference Room at the Main Branch is available for reservations!
We’ve sealed & blessed the opening that appeared after the sinkhole disaster. Father Zeb from Our Lady of Occasional Obeisance assures us the sightings will decrease.
There’s also a new projector.
We’ve sealed & blessed the opening that appeared after the sinkhole disaster. Father Zeb from Our Lady of Occasional Obeisance assures us the sightings will decrease.
There’s also a new projector.
January 30, 2026 at 5:36 PM
Repairs are complete & the Thoth Conference Room at the Main Branch is available for reservations!
We’ve sealed & blessed the opening that appeared after the sinkhole disaster. Father Zeb from Our Lady of Occasional Obeisance assures us the sightings will decrease.
There’s also a new projector.
We’ve sealed & blessed the opening that appeared after the sinkhole disaster. Father Zeb from Our Lady of Occasional Obeisance assures us the sightings will decrease.
There’s also a new projector.
We’ve received several patron complaints about Librarians from Franklin Branch Library (FBL) knocking on doors asking to look at “bookshelf schematics” & growing hostile when refused entry.
We’d like to once again remind the general public that the Franklin Branch is NOT associated with SDPL.
We’d like to once again remind the general public that the Franklin Branch is NOT associated with SDPL.
January 30, 2026 at 1:46 AM
We’ve received several patron complaints about Librarians from Franklin Branch Library (FBL) knocking on doors asking to look at “bookshelf schematics” & growing hostile when refused entry.
We’d like to once again remind the general public that the Franklin Branch is NOT associated with SDPL.
We’d like to once again remind the general public that the Franklin Branch is NOT associated with SDPL.
Tonight’s local history program, “ ‘We Came Upon a Little Dell Where the Sun Seemed Afeared to Shine’: The Inauspicious Beginnings of Shady Dell,” is postponed until further notice.
Diana M., Local History Librarian, set off on a research trip to North Folk Wood last Monday and has not returned.
Diana M., Local History Librarian, set off on a research trip to North Folk Wood last Monday and has not returned.
January 29, 2026 at 7:47 PM
Tonight’s local history program, “ ‘We Came Upon a Little Dell Where the Sun Seemed Afeared to Shine’: The Inauspicious Beginnings of Shady Dell,” is postponed until further notice.
Diana M., Local History Librarian, set off on a research trip to North Folk Wood last Monday and has not returned.
Diana M., Local History Librarian, set off on a research trip to North Folk Wood last Monday and has not returned.
NOW HIRING
Page at SDPL Main Branch. No experience. Minimum wage. Duties include:
- reshelving and organizing materials
- assisting the Librarians in monitoring CCTV system and reporting anomalies to Agnes L., Interim Security Officer
- other duties as required by the Librarians
Page at SDPL Main Branch. No experience. Minimum wage. Duties include:
- reshelving and organizing materials
- assisting the Librarians in monitoring CCTV system and reporting anomalies to Agnes L., Interim Security Officer
- other duties as required by the Librarians
January 29, 2026 at 12:53 AM
NOW HIRING
Page at SDPL Main Branch. No experience. Minimum wage. Duties include:
- reshelving and organizing materials
- assisting the Librarians in monitoring CCTV system and reporting anomalies to Agnes L., Interim Security Officer
- other duties as required by the Librarians
Page at SDPL Main Branch. No experience. Minimum wage. Duties include:
- reshelving and organizing materials
- assisting the Librarians in monitoring CCTV system and reporting anomalies to Agnes L., Interim Security Officer
- other duties as required by the Librarians
Agnes L., Circulation Manager and Interim Security Officer, continues working on issues with our CCTV. Last week a Page, monitoring the system from the staff desk, reported seeing her own exact likeness standing two floors away in the basement archives. Which is impossible, of course.
January 28, 2026 at 10:35 PM
Agnes L., Circulation Manager and Interim Security Officer, continues working on issues with our CCTV. Last week a Page, monitoring the system from the staff desk, reported seeing her own exact likeness standing two floors away in the basement archives. Which is impossible, of course.
In response to the incident involving the Shady Dell Elementary field trip last week, a Content Warning has been added to the Room of Heads, located at the Main Branch, third floor, last door on the left.
January 28, 2026 at 3:35 PM
In response to the incident involving the Shady Dell Elementary field trip last week, a Content Warning has been added to the Room of Heads, located at the Main Branch, third floor, last door on the left.
Meet Agnes W., Head Librarian and SDPL’s longest-serving staff member. Agnes W. earned her Masters of Library Science many years ago—back when women had to chop off their hair and dress like young Cockney lads to receive higher education—and has been working at SDPL ever since.
January 28, 2026 at 4:22 AM
Meet Agnes W., Head Librarian and SDPL’s longest-serving staff member. Agnes W. earned her Masters of Library Science many years ago—back when women had to chop off their hair and dress like young Cockney lads to receive higher education—and has been working at SDPL ever since.
Welcome to Bluesky, Shady Dell Public Library’s new home on the web!
Do not go searching for our physical home. Stick to the web. There are cookies here. Would you like a cookie?
Do not go searching for our physical home. Stick to the web. There are cookies here. Would you like a cookie?
January 28, 2026 at 4:21 AM
Welcome to Bluesky, Shady Dell Public Library’s new home on the web!
Do not go searching for our physical home. Stick to the web. There are cookies here. Would you like a cookie?
Do not go searching for our physical home. Stick to the web. There are cookies here. Would you like a cookie?