Gwen Rhodes
@scatteredshots.bsky.social
🏳️🌈 WuhLuhWuh, Software engineer, aspiring author, tired of watching the world burn
Women don't want chocolate for Valentine's Day. They want inalienable rights. #happyvalentinesday
February 15, 2026 at 1:33 AM
Women don't want chocolate for Valentine's Day. They want inalienable rights. #happyvalentinesday
"You don't trust it. You don't trust my shaggy ball" - My wife
February 1, 2026 at 9:49 PM
"You don't trust it. You don't trust my shaggy ball" - My wife
And they were, all of them, hella gay.
January 28, 2026 at 8:15 PM
And they were, all of them, hella gay.
Someone get me off the sad internet
January 26, 2026 at 10:59 PM
Someone get me off the sad internet
And check on your loved ones and neighbors if you're safely able to do so.
I'm sure you've heard this before and I don't want to sound like a scratched record but if you're someplace that doesn't usually get storms and cold like this one, or you've only recently moved to someplace that does, treat this fucker with the respect you would give a kaiju.
January 23, 2026 at 2:33 PM
And check on your loved ones and neighbors if you're safely able to do so.
Getting some much deserved attention
Gonna have a microfiction published on a website next month 🤯
January 22, 2026 at 2:06 PM
Getting some much deserved attention
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers With Big Naturals
The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover With Big Naturals
The Magnificent Seven with Big Naturals
January 22, 2026 at 1:51 PM
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers With Big Naturals
Sometimes you just really need to spend all day playing Need For Speed with your wife.
January 19, 2026 at 12:02 AM
Sometimes you just really need to spend all day playing Need For Speed with your wife.
Welcome to the Cat Hair Cafe where the added fiber is free.
January 15, 2026 at 1:28 AM
Welcome to the Cat Hair Cafe where the added fiber is free.
Perhaps one should not riff while composing one's resume.
January 13, 2026 at 9:44 PM
Perhaps one should not riff while composing one's resume.
Holy shit 2026 did not waste any time becoming super fucked up.
January 3, 2026 at 3:14 PM
Holy shit 2026 did not waste any time becoming super fucked up.
It's important to take time for your hobbies. Even if you're a scary block man.
January 2, 2026 at 1:32 AM
It's important to take time for your hobbies. Even if you're a scary block man.
Can we at least see if 2026 is good before we celebrate it? Like, I want the option to get my money back if I don't like the trial version. #happynewyear
December 31, 2025 at 6:05 PM
Can we at least see if 2026 is good before we celebrate it? Like, I want the option to get my money back if I don't like the trial version. #happynewyear
I'm going to write a book consisting entirely of punctuation. It's going to be a period piece.
December 26, 2025 at 10:04 PM
I'm going to write a book consisting entirely of punctuation. It's going to be a period piece.
All I want for Christmas is cheeeeeese
December 26, 2025 at 1:55 AM
All I want for Christmas is cheeeeeese
Don't deep fry your fingers, kids.
Also probably don't drop fry your finger's kids if that's relevant to you.
Also probably don't drop fry your finger's kids if that's relevant to you.
December 25, 2025 at 7:20 PM
Don't deep fry your fingers, kids.
Also probably don't drop fry your finger's kids if that's relevant to you.
Also probably don't drop fry your finger's kids if that's relevant to you.
Hot dog water...
December 25, 2025 at 2:27 AM
Hot dog water...
I've been labelled a propaganda pusher. Who wants to hear about pizza ball propaganda?
December 23, 2025 at 12:24 AM
I've been labelled a propaganda pusher. Who wants to hear about pizza ball propaganda?
When your seven year old wants pizza balls for breakfast, you get up and start making dough (after multiple clarifying questions to figure out what a pizza ball should be).
December 22, 2025 at 5:14 PM
When your seven year old wants pizza balls for breakfast, you get up and start making dough (after multiple clarifying questions to figure out what a pizza ball should be).
The Grinch Wears Prada
She’s Just Not That Into Grinch
We Grinched A Zoo
December 19, 2025 at 4:49 AM
The Grinch Wears Prada
There's nothing quite so heartwarming as when I tuck my son in at night and tell him that I love him to have him reply "okay" and reach for his phone.
December 18, 2025 at 2:34 AM
There's nothing quite so heartwarming as when I tuck my son in at night and tell him that I love him to have him reply "okay" and reach for his phone.
This morning when waking up my son he immediately hits me with "It's time for YOU to wake up".
I've been countered.
I've been countered.
December 17, 2025 at 2:45 PM
This morning when waking up my son he immediately hits me with "It's time for YOU to wake up".
I've been countered.
I've been countered.
Sometimes shaving products make my skin numb and I don't know if that's a bug or a feature.
December 17, 2025 at 2:12 PM
Sometimes shaving products make my skin numb and I don't know if that's a bug or a feature.
It's not really the holidays until you have to tell a family member to stop eating the tree
December 14, 2025 at 7:10 PM
It's not really the holidays until you have to tell a family member to stop eating the tree
There's nothing like the satisfaction of having a nice clean house and knowing that you only have to maintain it for the rest of your life.
December 10, 2025 at 3:37 PM
There's nothing like the satisfaction of having a nice clean house and knowing that you only have to maintain it for the rest of your life.