Scarlet Meyer
@scarletkmeyer.bsky.social
400 year old shark occasionally coaxed back to society for comedy purposes.
Did not realize they added lying to your constituents and betraying an entire country to the list of depression symptoms on the DSM
November 12, 2025 at 3:30 PM
Did not realize they added lying to your constituents and betraying an entire country to the list of depression symptoms on the DSM
All my meanest Reductress headlines are autobiographical ✨
October 31, 2025 at 1:47 PM
All my meanest Reductress headlines are autobiographical ✨
how I feel asking for the name of the person in the health insurance billing dept right before our phone call ends
September 8, 2025 at 3:43 PM
how I feel asking for the name of the person in the health insurance billing dept right before our phone call ends
ok Leonhart Fuchs is probably the most metal name I've ever seen in my entire life
August 18, 2025 at 7:33 PM
ok Leonhart Fuchs is probably the most metal name I've ever seen in my entire life
I will never forgive the people who voted for this dangerous and deeply embarrassing fucking loser
June 18, 2025 at 5:25 PM
I will never forgive the people who voted for this dangerous and deeply embarrassing fucking loser
I think my new fave genre is AI trying to act all cool and confident like it knows what's happening in pictures
June 16, 2025 at 4:27 PM
I think my new fave genre is AI trying to act all cool and confident like it knows what's happening in pictures
I performed on SlackJaw LIVE a month ago and I'm still pinching myself. I cannot believe how much fun I had/what an incredible group of comedians I got to share the stage with <3 Serious shout out to @photojuice.bsky.social for these amazing photos!!
April 29, 2025 at 1:42 AM
I performed on SlackJaw LIVE a month ago and I'm still pinching myself. I cannot believe how much fun I had/what an incredible group of comedians I got to share the stage with <3 Serious shout out to @photojuice.bsky.social for these amazing photos!!
Without downloading any pics, where are you mentally?
April 25, 2025 at 7:29 PM
Without downloading any pics, where are you mentally?
Tried to take a selfie because I felt cute and then forgot my default face is set to Margot Tenenbaum
April 25, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Tried to take a selfie because I felt cute and then forgot my default face is set to Margot Tenenbaum
Jurassic Park (1993)
April 25, 2025 at 6:49 PM
Jurassic Park (1993)
this is a recession indicator
April 25, 2025 at 1:56 AM
this is a recession indicator
ok NOW this is starting to feel like Twitter
March 31, 2025 at 3:31 PM
ok NOW this is starting to feel like Twitter
like 90% of my writing process is that scene from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989) where they're trying to write their history report on George Washington
March 2, 2025 at 6:13 PM
like 90% of my writing process is that scene from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989) where they're trying to write their history report on George Washington
@thriftstoreart.bsky.social hi I can’t seem to dm you but wanted to pass on these thrift store treasures
February 18, 2025 at 2:20 PM
@thriftstoreart.bsky.social hi I can’t seem to dm you but wanted to pass on these thrift store treasures
Hi! I’m on the next SlackJaw Live show! March 31st, 7pm at Caveat. Online streaming tickets available be there or be square etc
February 13, 2025 at 8:27 PM
Hi! I’m on the next SlackJaw Live show! March 31st, 7pm at Caveat. Online streaming tickets available be there or be square etc
waiting patiently to read Britney's memoir and see if she dedicates an entire chapter to this outfit like I would if someone let me write a memoir about the 2000s
October 25, 2023 at 10:50 PM
waiting patiently to read Britney's memoir and see if she dedicates an entire chapter to this outfit like I would if someone let me write a memoir about the 2000s
should have seen this coming
October 19, 2023 at 9:40 PM
should have seen this coming
I'm on the Morning Moot newsletter this morning complaining about loud restaurants! It was so much fun to dig deep into weird opinion of mine + watch other writers go on their own strangely specific rants each week, just saying maybe you should subscribe?
October 5, 2023 at 1:28 PM
I'm on the Morning Moot newsletter this morning complaining about loud restaurants! It was so much fun to dig deep into weird opinion of mine + watch other writers go on their own strangely specific rants each week, just saying maybe you should subscribe?
I can't tell if this is gold because it means she's constantly vaping so it doesn't seem like a big deal to her or she's doing the teen trying not to get grounded defense
September 19, 2023 at 6:00 PM
I can't tell if this is gold because it means she's constantly vaping so it doesn't seem like a big deal to her or she's doing the teen trying not to get grounded defense
weirdly this got posted on the one day I actually did clean the house
September 18, 2023 at 7:28 PM
weirdly this got posted on the one day I actually did clean the house
not going to lie this is my magnum opus of headlines
September 15, 2023 at 5:16 PM
not going to lie this is my magnum opus of headlines
the uncomfortable truth is in the mid 2000s Cilantro Taste Aversion Report would be your best friend's favorite band. You'd have to watch them open for Of Montreal or something and pretend to be into it
September 12, 2023 at 6:46 PM
the uncomfortable truth is in the mid 2000s Cilantro Taste Aversion Report would be your best friend's favorite band. You'd have to watch them open for Of Montreal or something and pretend to be into it
me, after focusing and working for exactly 1 hr
September 12, 2023 at 6:33 PM
me, after focusing and working for exactly 1 hr
oh to be two space shuttles nestled together taking a nap in the sun
September 5, 2023 at 5:56 PM
oh to be two space shuttles nestled together taking a nap in the sun
No one:
New Yorkers finally seeing an in for their well practiced Robert Moses rant:
New Yorkers finally seeing an in for their well practiced Robert Moses rant:
August 23, 2023 at 4:20 PM
No one:
New Yorkers finally seeing an in for their well practiced Robert Moses rant:
New Yorkers finally seeing an in for their well practiced Robert Moses rant: