Sarah Kite
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sarahkite.bsky.social
Sarah Kite
@sarahkite.bsky.social
3.9K followers 1.3K following 19K posts
moody sweetheart | pics & shitposting | pdx | baseball fan | trans rights | socialist | she/her | used to be funny | AI stans get blocked

Mastodon: @[email protected]
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sarahkite.bsky.social
posting lewds on main
but it’s just me stirring gravy
November 28, 2025 at 1:25 AM
sarahkite.bsky.social
[expand image]

In case you weren’t angry enough at Google for being shit, this morning I got a notif from my calendar that tomorrow is Black Friday, like it’s some sort of fckng national holiday & not a capitalist scam

Turns out Google *enhanced* my iPhone’s Calendar app. Never happened before
my iPhone’s lock screen this morning. we see a photo of mine that I took of the aurora borealis in 2024. the date says Thursday, November 27. the time is 9:00 (am). below we see a push notification from the Calendar app that says tomorrow is Black Friday, like it’s some sort of National Holiday
November 28, 2025 at 1:19 AM
sarahkite.bsky.social
Post something random or you’ll have an awful December.
nighttime, slightly blurry photo of a business sign, as seen from a moving car. the business is called “PEOPLE’S PIG”
November 27, 2025 at 10:36 PM
sarahkite.bsky.social
every time I see this woman in the Byrna personal self defense weapons commercial, holding her stupid metaphor banana, I wanna slap her silly
a brunette with long hair holding a peeled banana in a convenience store parking lot. there’s a guy (out of focus) in a dark hoodie behind her, leaning against a car this is the actress from the Byrna personal self defense weapons commercial
November 26, 2025 at 5:54 AM
sarahkite.bsky.social
ok this is really perfect
10/10, no notes
meme that says: The lifeless CGI eyes in The Polar Express still freak me out and includes four images but only three of them are from the animated film The Polar Express: the one in the lower left quadrant is an actual photo of Mark Zuckerberg
November 26, 2025 at 1:09 AM
sarahkite.bsky.social
UNITED HEALTH: All these seniors we’re dropping should invest in our stock so we can deliver shareholder dividends to them and they can shop for a better Medicare Advantage plan

TRUMP ADMINISTRATION: Hey, that’s a great idea!
UnitedHealth is dropping a million seniors from Medicare Advantage as it aims to restore its 'swagger' MarketWatch Provided by Dow Jones • Nov 19, 2025 at 7:56:00 AM By Neal Shah America's largest insurer is making sweeping changes to its Medicare Advantage plans to improve profit margins United Health Group is dropping some of its Medicare Advantage plans. UnitedHealth Group announced last month that it plans to drop 1 million Medicare Advantage members. Two weeks later, at a UBS healthcare conference, Wayne DeVeydt, the company's chief financial officer, said many of the changes UnitedHealth is making will allow it to "get back to the swagger the company once had."
November 25, 2025 at 5:45 PM
sarahkite.bsky.social
Stealing Caturday Valor:
here’s my daughter’s tabby cat, Bowser, sent to me just now (not my photo)
a tabby cat with a blue heart-shaped collar medallion, looking out from bed covers. this cat’s coloring is in reality more brownish, but the lighting makes him look more grey
November 22, 2025 at 8:07 PM
sarahkite.bsky.social
Lazy Caturday: Nina Edition
my tabby cat Nina on my lap, looking at the camera
November 22, 2025 at 7:45 PM
sarahkite.bsky.social
About this Ryan Lizza piece:

When my daughter was a girl around 6YO, there was an Omnimax film we’d see at the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry, that featured RFK Jr rafting down the Colorado River in the Grand *Canyon*, explaining to the viewer how important it was to protect wild waterways
RYAN LIZZA NOV 21, 2025 • PAID If you are new to this series, start here. She did it again. It was four years later. Another presidential campaign. Another book project. Another candidate whom she had profiled. Another note— a poem, according to Olivia-though this time from the candidate to her. "Yr open mouth awaiting my harvest," Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who is now the Secretary of Health and Human Services, had written to my then-fiancé. "Drink from me Love." He continued, "I mean to squeeze your cheeks to force open your mouth. I'll hold your nose as you look up at me to encourage you to swallow. 'Dont spill a drop. I am a river You are my canyon. I mean to flow through you. I mean to subdue and tame you. My Love."
November 22, 2025 at 6:25 AM
sarahkite.bsky.social
tonight’s sunset from a high school track
silhouette of a hawk sitting on a lit street lamp at twilight, with conifers and birds in the background sunset from a high school track with a clear horizon vista, football scoreboard, unlit stadium light and trees along the edges, wispy pink clouds in the sky
November 22, 2025 at 2:34 AM
sarahkite.bsky.social
Ivan found my new puffy coat
my tabby cat Ivan looking up with blep tongue, while sitting on a puffy black coat that’s draped over a chair
November 18, 2025 at 6:32 PM
sarahkite.bsky.social
was reminded today of Sinbad, so in the spirit of honoring our elders, here’s an old meme that still rings true
meme featuring a photo of Sinbad the comedian (David Adkins). in text that looks like a pink neon sign, it says Real Talk! and then the following is surrounded by an illustrated pink neon-sign-esque box: So are we going to overthrow the fucking government or what? [*Sinbad’s signature*]
November 18, 2025 at 6:23 PM
sarahkite.bsky.social
headline from today:
you just know “suck” was intentional
Trump's incredibly complex' tariffs suck up CEO time and company resources The proliferation of trade regulations and threat of intensified enforcement has driven many companies to spend what could add up to tens of millions of dollars to ensure they are not running afoul of Trump's new duties. [photo of Trump stepping down the tarmac stairway from AF1] President Donald Trump steps off of Air Force One as he arrives at Palm Beach International Airport, on Nov. 14, 2025, in West Palm Beach, Florida. | Manuel Balce Ceneta/AP By DOUG PALMER 11/16/2025 12:00 PM EST
November 16, 2025 at 5:33 PM
sarahkite.bsky.social
When you see them all lined up like this, it feels less like a product display and more like a shooting gallery
a collection of Christmas lawn inflatables displayed in a store’s outside garden area. all are sporting Christmasy costumes left to right are: one-eyed minion; Hello Kitty; Jack Skellington dressed as Santa; Bluey; small Yeti a collection of Christmas lawn inflatables displayed in a store’s outside garden area. all are sporting Christmasy costumes. left to right are: small Yeti; Stitch; Olaf; the Grinch; upside down elf legs (presumably to place atop a non-working chimney??)
November 16, 2025 at 3:57 PM
sarahkite.bsky.social
I just can’t

Cheryl Hines has gotta be the dumbest turkey not to divorce this man with Slim Jim skin
headline from irealtor.com Cheryl Hines Opens Up About Chaotic Home Life With RFK Jr.-and How Olivia Nuzzi Affair Scandal Actually Strengthened Their Marriage by Charlie Lankston Wed, November 12, 2025 at 10:48 AM PST • 8 min read
November 14, 2025 at 6:33 PM
sarahkite.bsky.social
oops used the wrong photo, here’s a better one
two wheat pennies: heads up on the left, tails up on the right, both from the 1950s
November 13, 2025 at 7:43 PM
sarahkite.bsky.social
Why didn’t anyone tell me that YESTERDAY was the last day that the US minted pennies?!
RIP 😭
a couple wheat pennies I have. the one on the left is heads and was made in 1958. the one on the right is tails and was made in 1957
November 13, 2025 at 3:47 PM
sarahkite.bsky.social
omg that reminds me of this search I did today for something completely different:
Duck Duck Go search words “what’s up with…” and the first word it autofills is “joints”
November 12, 2025 at 12:54 AM
sarahkite.bsky.social
ALL COPS ARE BASTARDS
Steps app on my phone under “Trends” says: • Flights Climbed On average, your flights climbed have been decreasing over the last 5 days. and includes a fucking bar graph
November 12, 2025 at 12:29 AM
sarahkite.bsky.social
on my way to gobble your girl
a male wild turkey in the process of running
November 11, 2025 at 6:34 PM
sarahkite.bsky.social
I could watch videos of trains plowing through snow for hours
screenshot from a video of trains plowing through snow screenshot from a video of trains plowing through snow
November 11, 2025 at 4:44 PM
sarahkite.bsky.social
Happy Birthday to my friend and cat mom to The Noodles @creeptwin.bsky.social
🤗💗🎉🍰😻🥳🎼🎶♥️

I know this past year has been challenging, but here’s to the coming year being so much better
an orange cat peering out a barred window in the Spanish city of Valencia. the street scene is quaint and the buildings are close together in an old part of town
November 11, 2025 at 3:19 PM
sarahkite.bsky.social
cool.
also, this is funny as hell

changed my mind and hitting the like
unusual message that appears when replying to Matt E. Reals that says The post you're replying to was marked as being written in German by its author. Would you like to reply in German? (YES/NO)
November 10, 2025 at 9:34 PM
sarahkite.bsky.social
omg clutch twinsies
Miriam Adelson, Israeli-American conservative political donor up the wazoo. She’s a bleach blonde, veneer toothed, tan white woman wearing expensive rimless glasses, a cardigan sweater covered in many Stars of David, and carrying a bejeweled white and blue Star of David clutch purse some random Mar-a-lago bleach blonde white woman at a party at the Trump compound. She is clearly in late middle-age but has had extensive Mar-a-lago facial transformation. She’s wearing a double strand at the neckline of large, fake-looking pearls and a rather pretty floral, form-fitting coat/skirt combo. She’s holding a white bejeweled clutch purse with TRUMP spelled out in red-white-and-blue
November 10, 2025 at 5:23 PM
sarahkite.bsky.social
don’t do this, I mean it

but what if….
geordi la forge drake meme (featuring LaVar Burton in his Star Trek Next Generation role) top frame (“hold on”): “SPIT ON CHUCK SCHUMER” bottom frame (“now you’re talkin’”) “CHUCK SCHUMER ON A SPIT”
November 10, 2025 at 1:55 AM