Sam, back on my bullshit
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samwise42.bsky.social
Sam, back on my bullshit
@samwise42.bsky.social
1.5K followers 880 following 11K posts
He/him. Old enough to know better, young enough to be a bad influence anyway. West Virginia Hillbilly by birth, currently in SoCal. Discord: samwise3417 IG: samwise42_ 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🩷💜💙
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samwise42.bsky.social
Courtesy of @thisone0verhere.bsky.social ‘s Instagram account
Original poster @thisone0verhere says “Okay, a Golden Girls reboot but …” and inset is a headline reading “4 parrots in a UK zoo had to be separated after they began swearing at visitors and laughing together”. The headline is above a stock photo of 4 grey parrots appearing to be laughing together about something.
December 15, 2025 at 8:37 PM
samwise42.bsky.social
Panda Express stroking my ego over here
The fortune from a fortune cookie that reads “Proceed with confidence”. The “in bed” at the end is assumed.
December 15, 2025 at 1:08 AM
samwise42.bsky.social
December 7, 2025 at 8:43 PM
samwise42.bsky.social
Sorry I’m late to the party 🎉
Happy Birthday, cutie pie 💖💖
December 6, 2025 at 6:22 AM
samwise42.bsky.social
If anybody needs either something to decorate their guest bathroom with or a fun lil gag gift for somebody … Look what I found on Etsy: www.etsy.com/ca/listing/1...
A beautiful example of calligraphy in mostly blue and gold that reads “Pissing all by yourself, handsome?”.
December 5, 2025 at 11:12 PM
samwise42.bsky.social
What appears to be a comic book panel of Goofy, the Disney character, speaking to his son, looking very serious for once in his life. His text bubble reads “Your dad doesn’t just have sex, Maxie. Your dad *fucks*.”
November 30, 2025 at 8:39 PM
samwise42.bsky.social
A cartoonish salesman and client stand in front of a photo of a real water heater (for meme purposes). Salesman: *Slaps top of water heater* "With this bad boy you can cry on the shower floor for 45 straight minutes"
November 27, 2025 at 7:46 PM
samwise42.bsky.social
If you don’t post a selfie after a beard trim, did it even happen?
A shirtless selfie in the doorway to my bathroom, a dark room as the backdrop. One arm is raised so that my hand is behind my head, and my beard is trimmed relatively short (10mm on my beard trimmer, I believe).
November 17, 2025 at 5:26 AM
samwise42.bsky.social
I’d love to know what term limits you’re talking about.
A table from Wikipedia illustrating the federal offices in the federal government that can serve unlimited terms. The Vice President can serve unlimited 4 year terms, the House can serve unlimited 2 year terms, the Senate can serve unlimited 6 year terms, and judges in the court system (including the Supreme Court) have lifetime appointments.
November 16, 2025 at 4:47 PM
samwise42.bsky.social
Not me taking a break from the compression vest specifically for thirst trap purposes
One of the first selfies I haven’t had to crop my boobs out of - because I’ve had top surgery! I’m wearing an unbuttoned flannel over my bare chest, and you can see the scars in the center where they meet. I’m trying really hard not to be vain, but I think I look damn good.
November 16, 2025 at 12:33 AM
samwise42.bsky.social
When all this heals up, you’ll have to pay me to out a shirt on
A shirtless selfie showing my 4-week-old top surgery scars. Things are healing pretty well, but the scars are still a dark pink which will eventually fade.
November 2, 2025 at 6:10 AM
samwise42.bsky.social
You know how when you put a shirt on some cats, they go stiff and flop over and refuse to move because they hate it? I completely understand where they’re coming from now
A selfie of me wearing my post-op compression vest. It’s not terrible, but I get itchy and it’s just generally mildly annoying.
October 25, 2025 at 11:55 PM
samwise42.bsky.social
*David Attenborough voice*

“We can see here the signs of healing, as he gets back to his vain routine of taking endless selfies.”
A selfie where I’m laying in bed, wearing my handy dandy compression vest and giving the camera a hint of a smile. I’m freshly showered and a bit tired, but healing up well.
October 24, 2025 at 5:08 AM
samwise42.bsky.social
A photo of a dog who appears to be a Husky making a face like somebody who just told the punniest Dad Joke ever and js very pleased with themself. This photo has been used in memes quite often and is sometimes known as “Bad Pun Husky”.
October 24, 2025 at 3:08 AM
samwise42.bsky.social
My intimidation factor depends on mood, honestly.

Generally good mood (most of the time): like a 1 or a 2 (I’m just a widdle guy)

Angry (you know when that thing in your brain *snaps*): probably at least an 8 (7 if you’re over six foot, just remember I can still break your knees)
A screenshot of a Twitter post. mont @saerodynamic_ quote rt this with how intimidating YOU think you are on a scale of 1-10 and let other ppl reply to it with how intimidating THEY think you are 10:13 PM - 2/21/20 - Twitter for Android
October 23, 2025 at 8:53 PM
samwise42.bsky.social
(We’ll be dealing with this problem, ICYMI)
A phot of a glass bathroom scale that’s shattered into a million pieces, with the caption “Just tried to weigh my tiddies 😭”.
September 28, 2025 at 8:00 PM
samwise42.bsky.social
There’s never been a better time to quit your Starbucks addiction
This is a screenshot from a Reddit post on r/starbucksbaristas. The caption reads “This is insane”. Below is the text from a real memo sent out by Starbucks corporate headquarters, inset as a photo in the Reddit post: Customer names and messages on orders SEPTEMBER 16, 2025 Updated: 9/17/25 3pm PDT In response to online discussion about our policy for customer names on orders, we wanted to provide the facts and share some background. Starbucks is a company built on human connection. Having a name, rather than a number, attached to a customer order has been a core part of the Starbucks coffeehouse experience for decades. Most customers use their own name. And when a customer wants to use a different name - including the name Charlie Kirk - when ordering their drink in our café, we aim to respect their preference.
September 25, 2025 at 12:07 AM
samwise42.bsky.social
I mean, I have my own pair of nerd glasses, so no need to be ironic 😂
September 17, 2025 at 9:11 PM
samwise42.bsky.social
They can be, but if you show them you’re the bigger asshole, they tend to chill out pretty quick
A photo my step kid took of a Canadian goose at a local pond chilling and about to eat some oats out of my hand. This was taken a few minutes after I hissed back at this grumpy booger.
September 11, 2025 at 10:21 PM
samwise42.bsky.social
I think the people who write the fortunes in the cookies are leaning into the “in bed” thing now
The fortune from a fortune cookie I got at Panda Express. It reads: You don’t need to travel far to find the satisfaction you’re looking for.
September 11, 2025 at 7:40 PM
samwise42.bsky.social
Anonymous tips may be reported on this form and may also be reported to ICE via the toll-free ICE Tip Line, (866) 347-2423.
September 10, 2025 at 11:44 PM
samwise42.bsky.social
The trans masc version of twink death 😂

California still looks good on me though 😘
A selfie from today. I’m bald with an interestingly forked goatee, somewhat square-framed glasses, wearing a Hawaiian shirt that has a black background with a white leaf pattern on it. I took the selfie sitting in my car in the driveway, so you can see the interior of my car behind me as I’m sitting in the driver’s seat. It gives very much dad vibes. A selfie from December of 2022. The photo had a similar composition, taken from a similar angle where I’m also in the driver’s seat of a parked car. However, everything in the photo is different to some degree. The car interior is black where the newer one is grey, I’m wearing smaller, more oval glasses with a lighter metallic frame. I have some stubble but not really facial hair, but the hair on my head looks amazing, if a little grey at the temples. I’m wearing a black tee shirt under a blue and grey Berkeley jacket (that I bought at a thrift store when I still lived in South Carolina, oddly enough). This photo is giving more “college kid” vibes.
September 6, 2025 at 4:25 AM
samwise42.bsky.social
*sliding into the room, Kramer-style*

I got bored waiting for my hairline to finish receding so I shaved my head and went full Megamind
A selfie of me in a blue polo shirt and my glasses with a very bald head and a goatee.
September 5, 2025 at 3:47 AM
samwise42.bsky.social
Monday off work? Spa day at home 🧼 (I exfoliated a little too close to the sun for my nose tho 😂)
A selfie of me laying on a ridiculous number of pillows in bed, freshly showered, head freshly shaven, beard oiled up and moisturized all over. My nose and some other places on my face are a bit red from scrubbing a little too hard in the shower.
September 1, 2025 at 8:33 PM
samwise42.bsky.social
Just another day ending in Y
A picture of one of the gay guys from Schitt’s Creek leaning with one leg crossed behind the other in a very flamboyant way. Overlaid text reads “another day being a slut in theory but not in practice”.
August 29, 2025 at 5:07 PM