Rubberraven
@rubberraven.bsky.social
Autistic bisexual rubberist with BPD and bipolar type 1.
Trying to lead my authentic life while navigating my mental health challenges.
This is my space to vent and be genuine about my feelings and experiences.
Trying to lead my authentic life while navigating my mental health challenges.
This is my space to vent and be genuine about my feelings and experiences.
Despite being 8 hrs sleep I have a big seroquel hangover.
Thats what happens when you go to bed at 1am.
Thats what happens when you go to bed at 1am.
December 23, 2025 at 11:57 PM
Despite being 8 hrs sleep I have a big seroquel hangover.
Thats what happens when you go to bed at 1am.
Thats what happens when you go to bed at 1am.
Yeah, the exercise theory didn't diminish my desire for kink play.
Have to figure out something else.
Have to figure out something else.
December 23, 2025 at 1:56 PM
Yeah, the exercise theory didn't diminish my desire for kink play.
Have to figure out something else.
Have to figure out something else.
We are fuckin finished for the year!
Thank fuck for that.
I'm going to enjoy not having to get up at 5:30am and drive an hour each way 5 times a week.
That'll be nice.
Maybe I could get more than 5hrs sleep a night too, although I don't want to go overboard with the requests.
Thank fuck for that.
I'm going to enjoy not having to get up at 5:30am and drive an hour each way 5 times a week.
That'll be nice.
Maybe I could get more than 5hrs sleep a night too, although I don't want to go overboard with the requests.
December 23, 2025 at 4:24 AM
We are fuckin finished for the year!
Thank fuck for that.
I'm going to enjoy not having to get up at 5:30am and drive an hour each way 5 times a week.
That'll be nice.
Maybe I could get more than 5hrs sleep a night too, although I don't want to go overboard with the requests.
Thank fuck for that.
I'm going to enjoy not having to get up at 5:30am and drive an hour each way 5 times a week.
That'll be nice.
Maybe I could get more than 5hrs sleep a night too, although I don't want to go overboard with the requests.
Last work day of the year!
I've successfully gotten my inbox down to ZERO!
I've cleared out my desk and drawers. Ready for a clean start in the new year.
I've successfully gotten my inbox down to ZERO!
I've cleared out my desk and drawers. Ready for a clean start in the new year.
December 23, 2025 at 1:34 AM
Last work day of the year!
I've successfully gotten my inbox down to ZERO!
I've cleared out my desk and drawers. Ready for a clean start in the new year.
I've successfully gotten my inbox down to ZERO!
I've cleared out my desk and drawers. Ready for a clean start in the new year.
Went for a bike ride to the town centre and back (about an hr round trip).
I pushed pretty hard. Trying to see if my kink urges are brain chemistry related.
If it is, then the intense exercise should take the edge off the urges.
So we'll see if I'm still feeling like play later.
I pushed pretty hard. Trying to see if my kink urges are brain chemistry related.
If it is, then the intense exercise should take the edge off the urges.
So we'll see if I'm still feeling like play later.
December 22, 2025 at 12:09 PM
Went for a bike ride to the town centre and back (about an hr round trip).
I pushed pretty hard. Trying to see if my kink urges are brain chemistry related.
If it is, then the intense exercise should take the edge off the urges.
So we'll see if I'm still feeling like play later.
I pushed pretty hard. Trying to see if my kink urges are brain chemistry related.
If it is, then the intense exercise should take the edge off the urges.
So we'll see if I'm still feeling like play later.
Home from work. 1 day down, 1 day to go.
I really feel like going for a bike ride.
Maybe I'll ask the kids to come too.
I really feel like going for a bike ride.
Maybe I'll ask the kids to come too.
December 22, 2025 at 5:24 AM
Home from work. 1 day down, 1 day to go.
I really feel like going for a bike ride.
Maybe I'll ask the kids to come too.
I really feel like going for a bike ride.
Maybe I'll ask the kids to come too.
My motivation has fallen in a hole.
I'm procrastinating.
Also, why do customers want so much shit on the last few days ffs.
I'm procrastinating.
Also, why do customers want so much shit on the last few days ffs.
December 22, 2025 at 12:54 AM
My motivation has fallen in a hole.
I'm procrastinating.
Also, why do customers want so much shit on the last few days ffs.
I'm procrastinating.
Also, why do customers want so much shit on the last few days ffs.
Morning all.
2nd last day of work for the year.
I'm SO looking forward to finishing this year and having 2 weeks off.
I'm pretty well sorted in terms of my email workflow. Evolving my workflows next year for other aspects to keep on top of things.
Let's just get today and tomorrow finished.
2nd last day of work for the year.
I'm SO looking forward to finishing this year and having 2 weeks off.
I'm pretty well sorted in terms of my email workflow. Evolving my workflows next year for other aspects to keep on top of things.
Let's just get today and tomorrow finished.
December 21, 2025 at 10:42 PM
Morning all.
2nd last day of work for the year.
I'm SO looking forward to finishing this year and having 2 weeks off.
I'm pretty well sorted in terms of my email workflow. Evolving my workflows next year for other aspects to keep on top of things.
Let's just get today and tomorrow finished.
2nd last day of work for the year.
I'm SO looking forward to finishing this year and having 2 weeks off.
I'm pretty well sorted in terms of my email workflow. Evolving my workflows next year for other aspects to keep on top of things.
Let's just get today and tomorrow finished.
I've folded and put away all my washing.
Now I'm bored and feeling down.
Now I'm bored and feeling down.
December 21, 2025 at 6:09 AM
I've folded and put away all my washing.
Now I'm bored and feeling down.
Now I'm bored and feeling down.
Went out for 'me' time today!
I badly needed it.
I wrote a page and a half in my journal.
Brain dumping and processing thoughts and emotions.
I feel better.
I badly needed it.
I wrote a page and a half in my journal.
Brain dumping and processing thoughts and emotions.
I feel better.
December 21, 2025 at 4:46 AM
Went out for 'me' time today!
I badly needed it.
I wrote a page and a half in my journal.
Brain dumping and processing thoughts and emotions.
I feel better.
I badly needed it.
I wrote a page and a half in my journal.
Brain dumping and processing thoughts and emotions.
I feel better.
What a fucking day!
Nice bike ride with eldest. Then mowed the lawn, which was EXHAUSTING. Then tried to go out for a late lunch which SUCKED.
Cafes weren't open, kids were fucking awful.
Ended up spending like $65 on street food crepes which were shit and the kids wouldn't eat them.
Nice bike ride with eldest. Then mowed the lawn, which was EXHAUSTING. Then tried to go out for a late lunch which SUCKED.
Cafes weren't open, kids were fucking awful.
Ended up spending like $65 on street food crepes which were shit and the kids wouldn't eat them.
December 20, 2025 at 9:00 AM
What a fucking day!
Nice bike ride with eldest. Then mowed the lawn, which was EXHAUSTING. Then tried to go out for a late lunch which SUCKED.
Cafes weren't open, kids were fucking awful.
Ended up spending like $65 on street food crepes which were shit and the kids wouldn't eat them.
Nice bike ride with eldest. Then mowed the lawn, which was EXHAUSTING. Then tried to go out for a late lunch which SUCKED.
Cafes weren't open, kids were fucking awful.
Ended up spending like $65 on street food crepes which were shit and the kids wouldn't eat them.
Home now. Tired, but I'm feeling BORED!
I feel like going out and DO something, but my body and mind is like, "we're tired from working all week".
I think if I don't go out my brain will eat itself.
I feel like going out and DO something, but my body and mind is like, "we're tired from working all week".
I think if I don't go out my brain will eat itself.
December 19, 2025 at 6:14 AM
Home now. Tired, but I'm feeling BORED!
I feel like going out and DO something, but my body and mind is like, "we're tired from working all week".
I think if I don't go out my brain will eat itself.
I feel like going out and DO something, but my body and mind is like, "we're tired from working all week".
I think if I don't go out my brain will eat itself.
An interesting read on the differences and similarities between BPD and bipolar.
Lucky me has both 🙃
www.mydepressionteam.com/resources/bp...
Lucky me has both 🙃
www.mydepressionteam.com/resources/bp...
BPD vs. Bipolar: 3 Differences and 4 Similarities | MyDepressionTeam
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) and bipolar disorder are mental health conditions that share some similar features. Health care providers sometimes
www.mydepressionteam.com
December 19, 2025 at 1:42 AM
An interesting read on the differences and similarities between BPD and bipolar.
Lucky me has both 🙃
www.mydepressionteam.com/resources/bp...
Lucky me has both 🙃
www.mydepressionteam.com/resources/bp...
I'm..."ok" today.
Just ok. Feeling pretty flat. I'm concentrating a bit better at work today which is nice.
Looking forward to getting out on time today and starting the weekend.
Just ok. Feeling pretty flat. I'm concentrating a bit better at work today which is nice.
Looking forward to getting out on time today and starting the weekend.
December 19, 2025 at 1:38 AM
I'm..."ok" today.
Just ok. Feeling pretty flat. I'm concentrating a bit better at work today which is nice.
Looking forward to getting out on time today and starting the weekend.
Just ok. Feeling pretty flat. I'm concentrating a bit better at work today which is nice.
Looking forward to getting out on time today and starting the weekend.
My youngest is being a lot right now.
It's burnt my wife out for the day and now I'm feeling boooorred.
It's burnt my wife out for the day and now I'm feeling boooorred.
December 18, 2025 at 9:40 AM
My youngest is being a lot right now.
It's burnt my wife out for the day and now I'm feeling boooorred.
It's burnt my wife out for the day and now I'm feeling boooorred.
Finished for the day. Orange up on time. Now going click-&-collect for the kids xmas pressies.
Feeling better now I'm out of work.
Feeling better now I'm out of work.
December 18, 2025 at 5:37 AM
Finished for the day. Orange up on time. Now going click-&-collect for the kids xmas pressies.
Feeling better now I'm out of work.
Feeling better now I'm out of work.
Fuck man, like 10 new things came in and completely destroyed my workflow.
Fuck it, I'm still leaving at 3pm. Whatever I don't get done can wait until tomorrow.
Fuck it, I'm still leaving at 3pm. Whatever I don't get done can wait until tomorrow.
December 18, 2025 at 2:48 AM
Fuck man, like 10 new things came in and completely destroyed my workflow.
Fuck it, I'm still leaving at 3pm. Whatever I don't get done can wait until tomorrow.
Fuck it, I'm still leaving at 3pm. Whatever I don't get done can wait until tomorrow.
Tis a hot one today. 35C at 11am heading for a top of 40C.
Going for an early walk/lunch to stay out of most of the heat.
On the upside, the sun is making me more energetic. Let's just keep a lid on the irritability and agitation so I can get some work done. Kthnxby.
Going for an early walk/lunch to stay out of most of the heat.
On the upside, the sun is making me more energetic. Let's just keep a lid on the irritability and agitation so I can get some work done. Kthnxby.
December 18, 2025 at 12:34 AM
Tis a hot one today. 35C at 11am heading for a top of 40C.
Going for an early walk/lunch to stay out of most of the heat.
On the upside, the sun is making me more energetic. Let's just keep a lid on the irritability and agitation so I can get some work done. Kthnxby.
Going for an early walk/lunch to stay out of most of the heat.
On the upside, the sun is making me more energetic. Let's just keep a lid on the irritability and agitation so I can get some work done. Kthnxby.
My legs are sore today, not sure why. It's weird. It's the same kind of pain I get when I go up on my Seroquel, but I haven't changed dose. Very weird.
December 18, 2025 at 12:30 AM
My legs are sore today, not sure why. It's weird. It's the same kind of pain I get when I go up on my Seroquel, but I haven't changed dose. Very weird.
Ok, that was a lot. My brain is overloaded.
Talked about friendship and relationship stuff. Good, but my mental processing buffers are full now.
Very tired.
Talked about friendship and relationship stuff. Good, but my mental processing buffers are full now.
Very tired.
December 17, 2025 at 7:47 AM
Ok, that was a lot. My brain is overloaded.
Talked about friendship and relationship stuff. Good, but my mental processing buffers are full now.
Very tired.
Talked about friendship and relationship stuff. Good, but my mental processing buffers are full now.
Very tired.
She's running late. But I don't mind. I know if she's spending time with another client it's important.
Also it gives me time to sit and calm down from the stress of the work day before I go in.
Also it gives me time to sit and calm down from the stress of the work day before I go in.
December 17, 2025 at 5:13 AM
She's running late. But I don't mind. I know if she's spending time with another client it's important.
Also it gives me time to sit and calm down from the stress of the work day before I go in.
Also it gives me time to sit and calm down from the stress of the work day before I go in.
The other thing I want to ask about is when I feel like kink play (specifically impact/pain play) and I want to do it to myself, does it "count" as self harm?
I'm 50/50 on it. I don't know.
I'm 50/50 on it. I don't know.
December 17, 2025 at 1:42 AM
The other thing I want to ask about is when I feel like kink play (specifically impact/pain play) and I want to do it to myself, does it "count" as self harm?
I'm 50/50 on it. I don't know.
I'm 50/50 on it. I don't know.
I feel like I don't have any friends.
Like, not people I could confide in on a personal level. I used to, but I don't have that relationship with those people anymore and don't have anyone to fill the space.
There is always my wife, but I should have other people to socialise with.
Like, not people I could confide in on a personal level. I used to, but I don't have that relationship with those people anymore and don't have anyone to fill the space.
There is always my wife, but I should have other people to socialise with.
December 17, 2025 at 1:26 AM
I feel like I don't have any friends.
Like, not people I could confide in on a personal level. I used to, but I don't have that relationship with those people anymore and don't have anyone to fill the space.
There is always my wife, but I should have other people to socialise with.
Like, not people I could confide in on a personal level. I used to, but I don't have that relationship with those people anymore and don't have anyone to fill the space.
There is always my wife, but I should have other people to socialise with.
Psychologist appointment this afternoon.
I didn't intentionally plan to have both my psych appointments in the same week, it just aligned that way.
I haven't done my schema questionnaire that I'm supposed to have done.
I suck at homework.
I didn't intentionally plan to have both my psych appointments in the same week, it just aligned that way.
I haven't done my schema questionnaire that I'm supposed to have done.
I suck at homework.
December 17, 2025 at 1:14 AM
Psychologist appointment this afternoon.
I didn't intentionally plan to have both my psych appointments in the same week, it just aligned that way.
I haven't done my schema questionnaire that I'm supposed to have done.
I suck at homework.
I didn't intentionally plan to have both my psych appointments in the same week, it just aligned that way.
I haven't done my schema questionnaire that I'm supposed to have done.
I suck at homework.