Stomach and insides are absolutely trashed, I feel sick and I want to go home and collapse

Lemme go home

Omg my gag reflex is very bad today

I choked this morning trying to take my meds, choked putting a piece of hard candy in my mouth and then would've thrown up if I'd had anything substantial in my stomach from the anti-nausea medicine they give me. It's so gross. 😭

Hoping my labs aren't stupid today. I tried to be good.

Really channeling my mom today, got my long sleeve men's flannel on. Mom wore long sleeved men's work shirts and jeans for a large portion of my life. Also wore my red fuzzy loafers and green and white stripe socks. Those are all me, just wanted to be vaguely festive.

I did all the things and I'm tired

Sleep

The tiny fuck is right above chemo, as it should be.

There's a problem though, this little kitty that sits on me now refuses to get up so I can do those things.

I'm gonna have to move him. Boooo.

It's okay I made myself sad too. Life is short and tomorrow is never promised. Gotta love those things while you still have them.

Look at my skircle of cool people! It's my Internet friends and a couple IRL ones. 💜

I really wish I could move. I'm tired of cockroaches and poor insulation on the second floor and a bathroom I'm a little afraid of. There's no way for me to change that though. Not by myself.

I need to start doing something to make myself feel worthwhile.

And I need to shut up and sleep.

Pest control is supposed to be here but I plan to be asleep in their time window so I put a note on my door that I'm sick and not to come in. It's not like what they've been doing has made a single bit of a difference. It just stinks up my apartment and I have to worry about Dante getting in it.

It's nearly seven, it's Monday now. I have today and tomorrow and then Wednesday I have chemo and a shot in the ass, then a couple days of feeling like shit.

Then next week it's Christmas week I guess. I'm thankfully leaving the house, being kidnapped by my bestie and her in-laws' family.

I'd been meaning to do it all day I just felt so shitty that I didn't want to move. I've been so tired during the day and this whole being up all night thing fucking sucks. Not that I miss much being asleep during the day. I feel like I'm just not participating in life and I haven't been for awhile.