I think people should be nice and love each other 🥰
(a threat to the unkind)

Broke out of the moral self-deprecation loop when I realized that literally anyone who ever imposed unnecessary adversity, or suffering in my own life believed in their own inherent moral superiority. The only cause for confusion was assuming all people are motivated by kindness and empathy.

I’ve never seen, or read, any ending of a story that left me feeling like the end of Evangelion. I’ve tried people to watch Evangelion just to have someone talk about the ending of Evangelion with.

For real, and I feel like everyone starts life with maximum enthusiasm and curiosity. We want to be part of our communities, to be active and helpful. But we make so many little concessions just to survive here, by the time we reach adulthood and can enjoy our freedom, we’ve already died inside.

What hurts most is that my creative and curious energy has been withered by by literal decades of any enthusiasm or passion being discouraged, and while I succeeded in surviving I don’t feel the joy in growing and exploring like I used to.
I can’t give up on that joy though, I am not yet dead.

I read an avidly as a kid, as my parents were super attentive about teaching us to read and right super young. But then you get in trouble for reading above your reading level, and your writing has to be “accessible” to the students grading it, and they all use AI now anyway.
So what was the point?

UNDER THE SKIN! UNDER THE SKIN! ❤️

I’ve been thinking about that a lot after thanksgiving.
As a kid the net was the only community I had. We didn’t have neighbors, and school was contentious to say the least. I don’t think I would have gotten to adulthood without it. Considering what the net has become, I don’t think I could twice.

Then you get to college, and it’s all the same problems to such an insane degree you have to tread water for a year or two just to get to classes that are more advanced but infinitely less serious than highschool. All the while accumulating crippling debt, forgetting why that money was ever saved.

All of our tenured teachers I grew up with were gone, the twenty-something student teachers were overworked and underpaid and were using any quicker and easier teaching tools they could find to make a horrible job feasible.
But you hope once you get to college it’s ✨real academia time✨

My last year and a half I was in highschool most of my schooling was prepared lesson plans, learning programs, and automatic grading. At the time I blamed that on our school losing funding when it was already financially insolvent.

That said, there are SO many wonderful queer authors that write wonderful trans characters, and it’s wonderful how many trans stories there are to read now. I am absolutely SPOILED for romance novels these days.
It’s just a bummer that the most visible media portrayals are usually the worst ones.

It kills me that in so many books and movies trans characters only exist in a romantic or sexual context, usually just for shock value, and trans-femininity is almost always portrayed as the heteronormative conception of what “femininity” is to be.
Where are the trans-fem butches at??

My dad has long ranted about the “furbies”, and at thanksgiving this year we made him talk about the “furbies” for an hour before showing him a pic of me at a con, it was great!