The best relationships happen naturally anyway.

I guess, long story short, if you find someone attractive, just be nice to them and don’t immediately try to get in their pants. Don’t expect anything from it. You never know where a new friendship will lead, so don’t try to manually steer it toward sex or romance.

The truth is, if he had thought of me as just a potential friend, we’d probably still be talking. I don’t close the door on new relationships lightly. But, it feels rly weird to get propositioned for sex by someone you just met yesterday. And the fact that he lives close by made me v uneasy.

And I’m new to the area so I’m in a rly vulnerable position. If I go missing, there’s no local friends who can quickly notice I’m gone and call the cops. I’m an immigrant and a member of the trans community. And I’m autistic. Violence statistics against us are pretty bad…

Well, unfortunately, he began hitting on me yesterday. Sending suggestive emojis and trying to ask for sex.

I had to block him.

Even if I was interested in older men, think about it from my perspective. I don’t know this guy. He hasn’t given me any time to know him…

We even grabbed a bite to eat. To me it felt like I was hitting it off with a potential new ally, which, to be clear, is something I rly need because I’m new to the area and need a support network and new friends. I also saw he had his arm around a lady as his Lock Screen so, I thought “ah his gf”

Story time.

Saturday, I met a man while shopping. He’s about the age my dad was when I died. Seemed friendly. Offered to help me get home safe and also gave me his number so I’d have a local friend.

We shopped together in the mall some, went out separate ways, and met back up later.

And, when someone you’re attracted to doesn’t feel like you’re just waiting for an opportunity to fuck them, ironically, they’re a lot more likely to get in bed with you.

Because sex is fun! And, generally, we ALL want romance. We just can’t have those when we don’t feel safe.

So, I know it’s counterintuitive, but my advice, men, if you want a partner, just be friends with people. Go into every new relationship expecting nothing but friendship. When you treat people as just friends, it can lead to wonderful, fulfilling places. Friendship itself is rewarding…

We learn to treat every new guy as if they might mean us harm, not because we hate guys, but because if we don’t exercise caution we could wind up dead. It’s a stark fact, but it’s true. The danger for femmes is very very real…

But I’ve been on the other side of it too.

When you enter a friendship with someone, they can pick up on small things. And femmes in particular are on high alert because unfortunately violence from would-be lovers is a rly common experience for us…

I put expectations of potential love on everything. Even when I didn’t rly want to date someone I’d keep that possibility open just in case.

Look, I know where it comes from for most guys. You’re just lonely like I was. You’re told you’re incomplete without a partner. And you want one anyway…

So, for context, I identified as a man for a time. During this time, I absorbed the cultural mindset a little without realizing it and I behaved toward women in ways that I know now made them uncomfortable. I’d go into every friendship thinking maybe this one will lead to romance…

Men just end up not knowing how to have relationships with anyone feminine without expecting sex in return. It’s often not even coming from a harmful place deep down. It’s training. But it has rly harmful effects.

Lemme explain to any men in my audience…

Srsly wanna know which of my followers is Aussie. Maybe we can meet!

I rly gotta do this