While getting my hair cut I listened to an Elvis impersonator on the barber shop's sound system. In the back of my mind I reflected on certain elements of Connie Willis's "The Road To Roswell." Which lead me to ask aloud:
"How many couples have been married by Elvis impersonators while skydiving?"

3. O of P: Oskasr said, "No, pot roast this be." "No, is beef tongue, look at it." "Pot roast zees be." "Tongue." "Pot roas' zes be!" Klutzman, to celebrate becoming Mad's editor, wandered in to get an egg cream and heard Oskar scream, "Pot roas' zee be! Pot roas ze be! Potrzebie!!"
Sure he did.

2. O of P: Oskar had some faults. He mis-labled meat cuts to increase their price. Flank steak became sirloin, etc. When caught out, he doubled down. The more he argued, the worse his hard-won English became. One day in 1953, Mrs. Schwartz told him, "You liar. This ain't pot roast, its beef tongue."

1. Origin of "Potrzebie." Don't believe that Harvy Klutzman found it on an asprin direction sheet. I got this from Klutman's niece's tennis coach's next door neighbor's rich uncle's chauffer's golf buddy's orthodonist. Seems Oskar Lavant (no relation), displaced during WW II, started a deli in NYC.

In "The Ministry of Time," Kaliane Bradley has one character mention Graham Greene's "Ministry of Fear." I looked it up. It has a so-called psychiatric hospital run by Nazi agents.
I wonder if George Orwell had Greene's work in mind when he devised the Ministry of Love in "1984"? Reverse meaning!

Just spent an hour reporting phishing attempts in my Google Gmail spam file. What I THINK is going on is, someone on the Darknet is selling a "phishing notices" program preloaded with scare texts. A "bablumo******[email protected]" sent me hundreds. Many claim my "unpaid" iCloud account will be closed.

Another delay with Google Play Books, involving a debit card I had to cancel when it was (apparerntly) hacked. I need my replacement card to set up my account.
Meanwhile, I recommend Heather Cox Richardson's podcast tonight. I won't post a link here; she's on Facebook.
'Nuff politics for tonight.

This cause is close to my heart - please sign: sign.moveon.org/petitions/pr...

Still no word from Google Play Book's copyright team. I hope they don't object to my AI-enhanced avitar.
When I publish my fanfic-derived "Starbow's End" novella, I'll rate it for "mature audiences." Although there is no obscene language, my antiheroine escapes a rape attempt, and later fornicates.

Here goes attempt to post "Things Get Weird" again. auriporia.us-west.host.bsky.network/xrpc/com.atp...

My attept to post "Things Get Weird" on Bluesky. I'll try to add back cover. For about the author, see my Bluesky profile. Nope, can't attach epubs. Yet. Must research.

A genetically modified she-panther lopes up the former Owens Valley, goaded by her human Master’s command to deliver a message.

Well, this is discouragablizing. Google Play Books again disabled my account, and sent an email to my backup Google email account asking for my parents' feedback. What parents? I'm pushing 80, myself. GPB also writes my case is "under review;" it's been 9 days. What will the Octopoid do to Drucilla?

To bedevil my novel's hero, I invented a Doctor Clawbb, resident physician at the Spinach Salad King's Castle, with a unique treatment for Malingering. But all my hero can do is cower; no chance for character development. So Dr. Clawbb is out. No "Two 'B's' or not two 'B's,' that is the question."

Well, problems with Google Play Books. They deactivated my account. I've asked to be restored, but I suspect I must wait until a day or more after New Year's to find out why. And you must wait to learn how a genetically-modified she-panther deals with a talkative Octopoid who has a secret agenda...

5. And now for my sign-off line: Incurpotchelate Brecho!
[If this line makes you feel odd, just imagine how the Author feels.]
Raymond H. Ferris, would-be self-published sci-fi author.

4. protect the author from copyright infringement. Other original shorts and an alt-history novel wait in the wings.
[Modest cough] My AI-enhanced avatar is based on an original lithograph I created as a Fine Arts student, a decade *before* Steampunk came on the scene. Does this date me, or what?

3. -publishing thru Google Play Books. My first effort: a revised version of this short, "Things Get Weird," offered for free. First samples are always free, right? Next up, "Starbow's End," a novella adapted from a fanfic of mine, recast in my own fictional universe. Names have been changed to

2. I submitted a short story describing the fatal outcome of said Squid's attempt to extract a secret message from a genetically modified panther as he pursues her up Mt. Whitney. The webzine's archives still lurk somewhere in the World Wide Web.
Now I venture anew into online publishing by self-

1. A science fiction fan of 70 years+, I am adding to the genera I love. My first venture into online publishing was over a decade ago, when I submitted stories (and mainstream poems) to a free webzine supposedly edited and published by a Giant Squid. It ceased publication after
Raymond H. Ferris.