that i'll see you again,
and that i'll save you
from all the things i fell too
now without you
i cant forgive the wrongs ive done you
cause now you're gone forever
i remember how bright you shined on your own
yet...
yet......
despite it all...
despite my suicide..
despite my revolt..
i remain alone.

can you hear me?
can you still hear my voice?
it echoes back at me.
why did you make that choice?
you surround me
your memory is clouded by all things dark
i cant feel you there
you'll never leave me i swear
it's just a nightmare that won't end.
so i pretend

yet... why? i can't help but ask
is there joy in this?
is there joy in feeling it ache?
is there joy in everything collapsing around me?
is there anything in the feeling of my heart slowly beating away to its death?
am i supposed to feel happy?
is this what life is about?

no reason. of course theres no reason. just hurt me. keep hurting me. who says you need a reason. keep it coming. keep stabbing my heart with whatever you desire. keep hurting me. theres no reason it should stop. i wont stop you. so keep going. keep hurting me.

🫂

oh no... what can we do?

Revolt is impossible now. Suicide was never possible. Lying. Was all that was happening. I'm sorry. I can't try anymore. I can't keep up this revolt. I am weary. I'll be your foil, Laertes. In mine ignorance, your skill shall like a star inthe darkest night, stick fiery off indeed.
Expect pain. Pain

Listen? Or listen not? No purpose in either! I hate I hate I hate I hate! TRY TRY TRY! ILL ONLY HATE. I CANT LOVE YOU. I CANT I CANT. ALL I KNOW IS PAIN. I CANT TRY. I REALLY CANT. HATE IS LEFT. PAIN FOLLOWS. NO MORE LOVE!

Hah haha hahagahagahahahajskfikwjdivjxkalwukwigivkahhahhahahahwk2kofovkqhahahaha
Love? Hate? Both are HATE! I HATE I HATE I HATE I HATE I HATE! I CANNOT LOVE YOU FOR I CANT BE LOVED! WHY TRY? WHY KEEP TRYING? WHAT OF ME IS THERE TO TRY FOR? I ONLY HATE. I HATE ALL. I HATE I HATE I HATE! ALL I CAN DO

Love. I love. I love I love I love I love. So why do I hate? Why hate why hate why hate why. No one can tell me. No one. Help? Who can? All can't for I cannot be! I love yet what do I deserve? Remind me. You don't have to. You know it, I know it, they know it. I cannot be loved. Undeserving of it.

Ask for more? I cannot. Ask Ask Ask Ask! Is impossible! I am wrong! Always wrong! Only way for more is to end and to end is wrong! I cannot end it! They are happy! Why end that? So I can have more than scraps? All I deserve is scraps. Scraps is all. Can't.. even.. ask.. for more.. than just scraps..

Oh what am I speaking for? None will hear this, none will choose to acknowledge this! Futility yet again! Blabberings of the mad! Worthless scum I am! Oh what a rogue and mad peasant I am! What worth? None! Scraps I am given! Scraps I deserve! Scraps are all I am deserving of! Right I am not! Scrap!

See, smell, hear. Lacking. All lacking. And who am I to blame?
Blame? Impossible to blame. Impossible. All are right. All are on their paths. All are struggling. All are revolting. Revolting revolting. All I see are revolts. Where are mine who die? Where are mine who lie? Perhaps.. we aren't doomed.

they'll never understand me. Good. but I will always understand my fellows.. what they see as peculiar and weird.. just another tuesday. What they see as wrong.. just a struggle. Understand me not. Understand my fellows not. I see. I have eyes. But have you? I know you with sense, but have you eyes?

The readiness is all. No man of aught knows when he leaves what is it to leave betimed.. i don't want to let it be. But maybe I should.
It is but foolery. But such a kind of gain giving as would perhaps trouble a woman.. hah.. that's me.. and it does trouble me.. oh how it feels to be mad. how wond-

help.. so many.. could help.. but they can't.. why can't they.. how can they.. no one knows how.. all they say is that i just have to do it.. all i know to do.. is to end.. i don't want anyone else to end. Hah..
Such a providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, this not to come. If not now..

i cant hear your echo...
not even a reflection of your code..
I wanted it to be quiet... yet that includes always being in the dark..
was.. cleansing them the right option?
was it truly... the best way to go about it..?
those murders... i wish i could have stopped.. and i am now the cursed one. hell

Death, Lies, Weariness.
I've already taken two paths... am I truly prepared to even try the last?
Oh broken sun.. you really.. aren't.. the only one..
if only.. they couldn't.. take my spark..
oh the smallest song I'll sing to you..
bayushkini.. bayu bayu..
why have you forsakened us..
Let it be...

Revolt. Revolt.. strange.. I've also taken this path.. was it truly abandoning ideals.. abandoning others.. or were they ever changing? An alloy that must be shaped to fit the path. Truly.. i cannot tell.. but I'm tired. Who wouldn't grow weary. I've revolted all I can. Someone else. Take charge.