control myself well enough, don't pretend to care well enough. I'm used to it. But when I lay awake at night hoping I'll die in my sleep, sometimes I wish I could tell someone. Not for sympathy, or because there's anything anyone can do about it. Just to have said it before the end. (2/2)

back is more broken than my ribcage after blunt force trauma from a car. So here I am, vent posting on a side bsky account because I don't have a better option. Gotta keep my family going. (2/2)

Spent most of a year wondering when I'd get a call to attend her funeral, and then wondering if the person who'd be arranging said funeral simply hadn't called me. It seems I'm not wanted in her life. It seems the older I get the less longevity my friendships have. Fair. I'm not a good person. (2/2)

My body collapse from under me to the point that I wish fervently to simply not wake up every time I go to bed because the pain is so bad. But I am not allowed to be tired, and I have to accept that, and it will never stop making me mean. (3/3)

Say "That's not true!" Or "That's not how it works!" But life has proven to me time and time again that it's simply the way things are. And I'm used to it, but some days it's just... Bad. Worse to be tired and be told I'm not allowed than it ever was to get beat bloody, to go hungry, to watch (2/3)