Not the captain?!

Like, I kind of figured, but it also feels like fuuuuck which report are we on about right now?

What report?

I went back and looked at dates and timestamps.

When she went to a concert last week, and she was supposed to come over in the morning, but didn’t show and heard nothing for almost 24 hours, then told me her phone had died?

She was playing pool with a coworker.

He confirmed it.

Look, I can bring anything low.

If she wanted to, she would have.

Could have told me she wanted to go play pool, instead of making me wait up for her half the day.

Could have invited me out with them.

Could have straight up told me she was not ready and settled into a supportive friendship.

Oh, it was just you and her last Monday?

Okay, cool.

I just texted her to give me my keys back. And told her she broke trust, she asked how and why and I told her she can wonder about that forever.

She wasn’t in a relationship with me, but she definitely lied to me and strung me along.

and stayed home, and her she didn’t know when her grandma would come back, yet.

Never showed. Never came over. That was Monday.

Saw one of the coworkers, asked how the bar had been on Monday. Oh, do you go every Monday? You do? Oh, she and this other guy were there this Monday?

ask her upcoming schedule, to the point another coworker, who did not know about us, gave me a look.

But she had said she would come over to see me, just had ti get her car to her grandma for an appointment, then would head over.

She never showed. Later at noon, she said her kids had a fever,

No problem.
I understand.
Things happen.

Stand three feet away as a coworker asks her to go with him and another coworker to a bar after work. She told him she thought she had some things to do. This guy was over in our section multiple times during the night to talk to her, bring her candy

And sort out her head and “some other small things”. No problem. I tell her it’s fine, let me know if it’s too much attention or not enough, and I would adjust.

Two weeks of reduced responses, with “sorry, I fell asleep” “my phone died”, “my kids are sick”, “sorry I just completely forgot.”

Her grandma’s funeral lands on the day we were going to head so I could show her the Dark Sky park, so I cancel.

She gets distant afterward and I ask if she wants to rethink having a relationship right now. She says yes, but she just needs time to get a therapist

I leave shift and happen to bump into her, as she is going upstairs to see her grandma. We both get a look of shock, I ask if I can give her a hug, she later texts me she is sobbing during the visit but was so happy to see me on the way up.

Her grandma dies the next day, unexpectedly.

Not a day later, I take care of her grandma, briefly, who is under care of another nurse, and had a huge hypotensive episode. Her grandma laughs at a joke I make, her stepmom says I am nice and kind, but they don’t *know*.

Her grandma ends up in the ICU the next day, after surgery.

Making jokes, spending time together after work, opening up about how excited we were about the potential in the other.

I just straight up ask her if she still wants to be single, she says no. We talk about closing down any other romantic interests on the horizons.

Ionized calcium of 2.22 competing for my attention.

Mag less than 0.5?

Let’s fucking go.

What about 21,000+?

TOO LATE, Anna!

My philosophical outlook has solidified.