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Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

MENSTRUATION IS DIFFERENT, AND ALSO THESE ARE DINOSAURS SO THEY'RE NOT USED TO IT, SO AS YOU CAN SEE THE FACT THAT EVERYONE IS DINOSAURS IN THIS COMIC IS DEFINITELY PAYING OFF IN THIS PARTICULAR INSTANCE

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T-Rex: True, the body has its many and varied cascading flaws, always shifting and multiplying unpredictably like elements in a kaleidoscope, but there are some things it does well:

T-Rex: URINE COLOUR, baby!

T-Rex: The colour of your pee can tell you health things! If it's clear, don't drink so much water! If it's dark yellow, drink more water! And if it's cloudy, you've probably got a urinary tract infection!
T-Rex: As you can see, carefully observing your own pee is a fun, convenient, and FREE way to check up on your body's status!

Utahraptor: Plus if it's red, then there's probably blood in it, which is bad.
T-Rex: INDEED.

T-Rex: Blood's a special case though, because it's generally bad if your blood's somewhere it's not usually.
Utahraptor: Blood in your saliva?
T-Rex: BAD.
Utahraptor: Blood in your eyeballs?
T-Rex: BAD.

Off panel: Blood all over your macaroni and cheese?
T-Rex: NOT GREAT, BUD.
Off panel: ...Oh frig. I've -
Off panel: I need to go

December 10, 2025 at 1:29 PM

Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

Advantages to Being Old: a comic written by someone who is SO COMMITTED to growing old that if he doesn't do it he'll DIE

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T-Rex: Many people fear aging, but they forget that in some ways it actually rules! And thus, I am here to present...

Narrator: ADVANTAGES TO BEING OLD

T-Rex: FIRST OFF: memory loss! Whomst among us hasn't laid in bed in the small hours of the morning, staring at the ceiling while reliving all of our greatest mistakes and most embarrassing blunders? Well, GUESS WHAT??
T-Rex: When you're sufficiently old you won't remember them anymore! The sweetest dreams are those made in the bliss of ignorance!

Utahraptor: Won't I also forget my loved ones?
T-Rex: Sure. Absolutely, yes.

T-Rex: But ALSO your hated ones: they too will fade into the mists of time! YES: forgetting everything save for your vague sense that you've lost something precious and irreplaceable feels bad, but that's why it's so important to convince yourself NOW that forgetting all the duds you've ever known is GOOD, actually!!

Off panel: You promised ADVANTAGES to being old, plural, yet offered only a single and extremely suspect one.
T-Rex: Yes. Perhaps you are frustrated? Annoyed?
T-Rex: Just think of how good it'll feel to forget this conversation when you're OLD!

December 8, 2025 at 1:24 PM

Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

sherlock we need you to invent a universal language!! and NO you don't get to say "mathematics is a universal language" because how do you say "i'm horny" in math?? you CAN'T, don't even TRY

qwantz.com/index.php?co...

T-Rex: Sherlock Holmes, the world's greatest detective, scowled. He'd detected something astounding...

T-Rex: ...LIFE on other worlds!!

T-Rex: Yes, Sherlock had detected CANALS on MARS, and knew that if the Martians had canals they probably also had CRIMES, and therefore would likely have use of his services! But how could a detective from his era of horses and steam communicate with another world?
Dromiceiomimus: Oh, I know this one: huge Earth canals shaped like letters, filled with oil and lit on fire, right?

Utahraptor: Yeah, it was a proposal at the time - assume that Martians have telescopes too, so we build fiery canals to communicate!

T-Rex: Wait, are we assuming the Martians speak ENGLISH??
Utahraptor: I don't know man, ask Sherlock! Have Sherlock Holmes come up with a universal language for communicating with alien life, because I'm sure that'd be useful to a whole bunch of people!

T-Rex: Sherlock Holmes, the world's greatest detective, smiled. He just realized there WASN'T life on Mars after all, and so he could go back to solving crimes in his local area of Victorian England instead!
Off panel: Boooooo

December 5, 2025 at 2:35 PM

Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

the image of the earth is off-screen. and big. real pretty. honestly it's a shame you can't see it

qwantz.com/index.php?co...

T-Rex: Ah yes - time for me to walk in a big loop, returning home with nothing to show for it...

T-Rex: ...despite hours and hours of effort??

Dromiceiomimus: Ah, hiking. You're talking about hiking, right, perhaps the exemplar for "it's the journey not the destination"?
T-Rex: Indeed I am, Dromiceiomimus!
Dromiceiomimus: And don't you value, I don't know - escaping into the woods and looking at trees?

T-Rex: A proper image search can show me orders of magnitude more trees than can be seen on ANY hike!!
Utahraptor: Yes, but -

T-Rex: I'm serious, I can look at a photo of a forest and see more trees than I'd see on ANY hike. Heck, I can look at a photo of both sides of Earth and TECHNICALLY be looking at EVERY TREE in the KNOWN UNIVERSE! In fact, I'm going to do that right now!!

Narrator: SHORTLY:
T-Rex: FRIG, it's too low-resolution to see any trees!
Off panel: So hey, you wanna spend a pleasant afternoon walking in the woods with friends instead?
T-Rex: Eugh
T-Rex: FINE

December 3, 2025 at 1:04 PM

Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

to answer your question: yes, the pumpkins ARE out of season and look it

qwantz.com/index.php?co...

T-Rex: Attention, single ladies! Good news: I'm AVAILABLE for DATING that can lead to both SMOOCHING and to DEEP HAPPINESS!

T-Rex: "Can", not necessarily "will", but it's worth a shot!!

Dromiceiomimus: These days anyone can see thousands of singles in our area looking for love. What do YOU offer than nobody else does?
T-Rex: I'm handsome!
Dromiceiomimus: Lots of people are!
T-Rex: I'm funny!
Dromiceiomimus: Lots of people are!
T-Rex: DANG. Dating IS hard!

Utahraptor: You just need to make yourself unique!
T-Rex: Oh heck, is that all?

T-Rex: DONE, easy. I'm now the ONLY guy in town who doesn't use lexicalized contractions. You know, the ones that are so normalized we've forgotten what they ACTUALLY stand for.
Utahraptor: Really?
T-Rex: YES! As of now, as of nine of the clock this morning!

Narrator: AND THUS:
T-Rex: Ladies, I have some pumpkins at my place! Hang out with ME tonight and we can carve Jacks of the lantern!!
Off panel: Oh right, that's what "jack o'lantern" stands for.
Off panel: I'm INTRIGUED... and possibly SEDUCED!

December 1, 2025 at 1:15 PM

Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

t-rex's sinister neighbours return! or... WERE THEY THERE, JUST OFFSCREEN, THE ENTIRE TIME????

qwantz.com/index.php?co...

Creepy voice(s): HELLO, T-REX.
T-Rex: Oh no, my sinister raccoon and cephalopod neighbours?! I'm not turning around to see if it's really you!

T-Rex: Because I'm a busy guy, NOT because you've been wildly terrifying me for years!

Narrator: LATER:
T-Rex: Dromiceiomimus, are they still behind me?
Dromiceiomimus: Who?
T-Rex: Oh phew. PHEW. I was being followed by creepy raccoons and beaked octopods, but I guess they got tired and went home.
Dromiceiomimus: Oh, THOSE guys? Yeah, they're still behind you.

T-Rex: AHHHHHHH!
Utahraptor: What? WHAT??

T-Rex: UTAHRAPTOR, ARE THERE LAND-OCTOS AND RACCOONS BEHIND ME??
Utahraptor: No, nothing's behind you. Dromiceiomimus was just playing with you.
T-Rex: Oh good. I swear, if they were still there, I'd freeze in place and be unable to move for a full day out of PURE TERROR.

Creepy voice(s): T-REX - IS THAT A PROMISE?
T-Rex: AHHHHH!
T-Rex: ...
T-Rex: ...
T-Rex: DANG IT, I HAD THINGS TO DO TODAY

November 28, 2025 at 1:49 PM

Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

fixing this is going to require some... re-training

qwantz.com/index.php?co...

T-Rex: The emergency brake on this train says "FINE FOR MISUSE" so I guess it's okay if you want to mess with it!

[[blank]]

Utahraptor: Oh my GOD, T-Rex, I hate how long it took me to get that.
T-Rex: Huh?

Utahraptor: "Fine for misuse"! It took a bit to realize you're intentionally reading "fine" in the "acceptable" sense. For jokes!
T-Rex: Wait, what other sense does it have?
Utahraptor: The penalty sense? The sense where if you misuse it, they track you down and it costs you money?

November 26, 2025 at 1:39 PM

Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

i've heard of a "critical failure", but this is ridiculous

qwantz.com/index.php?co...

T-Rex: Our lives are finite, and one day they will end - possibly suddenly AND by surprise!
T-Rex: Whoops!

T-Rex: Really sorry if you're just hearing this now for the first time!!

T-Rex: Anyway, that's Fact One. Fact Two is that there are more movies than we can watch in a lifetime, more games than we can ever play in a lifetime, more books than we can read in a DOZEN lifetimes. EVERY SINGLE TIME we choose to enjoy one instance of art, we're shutting out dozens, hundreds more - media that we will NEVER ENJOY!

T-Rex: The clock's ticking, babies! Hope you choose well, because there's no second chances!
Utahraptor: Sure, T-Rex!

Utahraptor: But that's what CRITICS are for: they spend THEIR finite lives reviewing TONS and TONS of material, so that WE can spend more of OUR finite lives on the good stuff! The word "hero" gets thrown around a lot these days, but in this case, it DEFINITELY applies to critics.
T-Rex: Damn. So true!

Narrator: PS: DON'T FORGET TO TELL EVERYONE ABOUT DINOSAUR COMICS AND HOW YOU THINK IT'S SUPER COOL AND GREAT! BUT IF YOU THINK IT'S BAD, THEN UH, I GUESS IGNORE THIS PRO-CRITICS COMIC AND JUST DON'T TELL ANYONE YOUR OPINIONS EVER AGAIN
Narrator: IT'LL BE FINE, I PROMISE

November 24, 2025 at 1:11 PM

Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

man i HATE it when i respawn as a baby in the hospital at the very start of my life, and then some jabroni makes me die on the very first goomba

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

Devil: MMM GREETINGS T-REX
T-Rex: The Devil!
Devil: INDEED

Devil: AND I COME TO YOU WITH A PROPOSAL

Devil: I BELIEVE WE SHOULD MAKE REAL LIFE MORE LIKE VIDEO GAMES
T-Rex: Love it! I can't wait to eat a whole roast chicken that I find just sitting inside a wall, or in a trash can, and it restores my health. I say this with absolute sincerity: I truly look forward to all my health care needs being met by eating big ol' chickens.

Utahraptor: Life's gonna be more like video games from now on?
T-Rex: It sure will!!

Utahraptor: Oh thank goodness. Thank goodness. I, in contrast, truly look forward to leaving my house on day and the sun coming alive and swooping down and trying to kill me. It was a perfect plot twist in Mario 3, and it will be a perfect plot twist in real life too.
Utahraptor: Can't wait.

Off panel: Plus, when we die, we'll get to play our whole lives over again! Only our younger siblings might be playing as us, because Mom says its their turn now.
T-Rex: EUGH
T-Rex: They're gonna screw EVERYTHING UP

November 21, 2025 at 12:21 PM

Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

t-rex and dromiceiomimus in: "horse play"

qwantz.com/index.php?co...

T-Rex: Everyone, shut up! SHUT UP, EVERYONE!

T-Rex: I SAW A HORSE TODAY!!

Dromiceiomimus: Holy smokes, what was it doing?
T-Rex: WALKING!
Dromiceiomimus: Whoah!
T-Rex: And then, TROTTING!
Dromiceiomimus: Whoahhhhhh

Utahraptor: Thank you, T-Rex and Dromiceiomimus, for demonstrating what it's like to see a horse.
T-Rex: No problem!

T-Rex: Now folks, Dromiceiomimus and I were just PRETENDING to have seen a horse, but I'll tell you: it FELT real. This is the power of even IMAGINING seeing a horse walking, then trotting, and - OH DANG, I'm doing it again right now!!
Utahraptor: No. NO!
Utahraptor: OH NO, you're making ME imagine it too!

November 19, 2025 at 12:08 PM

Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

daaaaaaamn i can't believe all those other suckier dudes made me lose enlightenment. wtf

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

T-Rex: I have grown a vegetable. Is it a good vegetable? No.
T-Rex: But!

T-Rex: It is a LARGE vegetable!

Dromiceiomimus: So I guess now you're entering one of those county fairs for large vegetables?
T-Rex: I guess? What else do you do with a large veggie? It won't taste good. It's too big; its insides are certainly nasty.
Dromiceiomimus: Quick, to the county fair!!

Narrator: AFTER THE JUDGING:
T-Rex: SEVENTH PLACE?!
Utahraptor: That's not bad, buddy!

T-Rex: Sure, but it's not GREAT! I thought I had a big vegetable but six other people's vegetables were WAY bigger.
Utahraptor: They were TRYING to grow loomsters! You did it by ACCIDENT.
T-Rex: The lesson? Someone's always better at EVERYTHING, and all I can do is be content with my best!

Narrator: THIS REALIZATION CAUSES T-REX TO ACHIEVE... ENLIGHTENMENT!!
T-Rex: AW FRIG!!
T-Rex: Being enlightened RULES; beats me why other dudes don't do it! They must SUCK!
Narrator: BUT THAT COMMENT MAKES HIM LOSE ENLIGHTENMENT AGAIN!
T-Rex: ...Dang.

November 17, 2025 at 12:34 PM

Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

the case was called "Murder... a la Mode" and I DO NOT APOLOGIZE

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T-Rex: Sherlock Holmes, the world's greatest detective, faced neither his hardest nor his easiest case yet, but instead...

T-Rex: ...he faced his MEDIANEST case yet!

T-Rex: Yes, this case was precisely in the middle of Sherlock's case hardness rankings. It was precisely as far from his easiest case as it was from his hardest case, making it challenging, but - c'mon, not very. Sherlock Holmes could do the hardest cases in one novel's length so this case was a short story AT BEST.

Utahraptor: What was the case?
T-Rex: It hardly matters!

T-Rex: There was a secret society, a murder, a bullet with Sherlock's name literally on it, but he had this figured out before luncheon. The most interesting part was at luncheon, actually, when he bragged about having figured the case out slightly before said luncheon.

T-Rex: Like the case itself, the thrills were median, the chills were median, and the shocking reveals -
Off panel: Median?
T-Rex: No, average! A subtle but distinct difference, as Sherlock explained at length!!

November 14, 2025 at 1:18 PM

Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

girl we have some bad news on your girlsecondarycancerlabreport. i'm afraid i have some bad news for some very specific cancer girlies

qwantz.com/index.php?co...

T-Rex: I am so pleased that "girl" has become an adjective.

T-Rex: You can now turn a boss into a girlboss!

T-Rex: Plus, you can now turn a party into a girlparty, a car into a girlcar, and a secondary cancer lab report into a girlsecondarycancerlabreport.
Dromiceiomimus: I'm not actually sure that you can.
T-Rex: I am very girlsure that I just girldid!

Utahraptor: Sounds like you're turning English into German.
T-Rex: Sounds like you're not for that??

Utahraptor: No, language evolves, and far be it for me to girltell girlpeople -
T-Rex: Girlpeople!
Utahraptor: - how to girllive their girllives. As long as girlnobody's girlhurting girlanyone I'm girldown with it.

T-Rex: ...Girlsemanticsatiation is girlreal.
Off panel: Girlboy, is it ever!

November 12, 2025 at 1:02 PM

Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

behold! a vision into a dystopian world in which one might look down on Gamers

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

T-Rex: Guess what, cats and kittens! I SOME PERSONAL NEWS FOR YOU!
T-Rex: This guy, your friend T-Rex...

T-Rex: ...spent the WHOLE WEEKEND playing VIDEO GAMES!!

Dromiceiomimus: Oh T-Rex, I'm so pleased! Congratulations! You must be so happy!
T-Rex: Thank you! It means a lot, Dromiceiomimus. And I am! I'm VERY happy.

Utahraptor: Let me add my congrats to the pile, T-Rex! Well done. Proud to be your friend, bud.
T-Rex: Thanks, friend!

T-Rex: Yes, things certainly changed for the better when we realized that being able to spend the whole weekend playing video games REQUIRES a life that's SUPER pulled together - and thus is really a CELEBRATION of success rather than anything lazy or wasteful!
Utahraptor: And how!

T-Rex: Of course, if even ONE slacker ever played video games instead of doing the things that REALLY needed doing in their life, that would RUIN this conception.
Off panel: And society as a whole.
T-Rex: AND society as a whole!!

November 10, 2025 at 1:15 PM

Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

just casually tossing out "vampires but for other bodily fluids" like it won't revolutionize at least three distinct genres

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

T-Rex: It's time for...

Narrator: THREE STORIES THAT ALWAYS WORK

T-Rex: Story one: a character who up to this point has been very serious and lives in a very serious universe wakes up and discovers that they have been shrunk down to Tiny size and needs to alert everyone that they are now Tiny, but nobody can hear him, and when they do they hear him in a really adorable high-pitched voice.
Dromiceiomimus: Perfect story, everyone loves it.

Utahraptor: Story two: enemies to lovers to activist investors to nodding acquaintances to lovers again.
T-Rex: Tale as old as time!

T-Rex: Story three: werewolves but with other animals, vampires but with other bodily fluids, ghosts but with other species, and Frankensteins but with dogs.
Utahraptor: I would love a Frankenstein dog!
T-Rex: EVERYONE WOULD!

T-Rex: If you are an author who is stuck, give your character a dog who is a Frankenstein, and I promise your story just got 10 times more interesting.
T-Rex: Fun fact! Why this is NOT done more often is one of the great enduring mysteries in the liberal arts!!

November 7, 2025 at 12:46 PM

Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

utahraptor! i know this will only hurt me after I'm dead, and yet somehow, I think it's hurting me right now???

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

T-Rex: When I die, suppose they want to make a documentary film about my life? But then suppose there's not enough resources, or documents, or film clips...

T-Rex: ...and so they bail on the whole project??

T-Rex: This is why I'm determined to leave as many documents and film clips of my life as I can!
T-Rex: I want the first thought after "I should make a documentary about that cool dude T-Rex" to be "Oh sweet, this will be easy, so I will definitely do that previous idea I just had."

Utahraptor: So you're going to live your entire life in service of your death?
T-Rex: Only a little!

Utahraptor: Hmm. I think if I were a filmmaker, I wouldn't just use the mega-biased sources you left behind for post-death aggrandizement. In fact, I'd probably look to see what others who knew you best thought about you.
Utahraptor: ...Which reminds me: I need to go write some things down.

T-Rex: Wait, good things??
Off panel: You'll find out after you're dead!
T-Rex: NO I WON'T!!

November 6, 2025 at 1:48 PM

Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

you can't say you'd get used to them because they're giant skeletons with angry eyes!! and if that doesn't convince you, maybe i can remind you that these are giant DINOSAUR skeletons?? check and mate

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

T-Rex: It took us DECADES to develop the technology to have giant plastic skeletons in our front yard for Hallowe'en.
T-Rex: But, now that we have it...

T-Rex: ...what are we going to do with it?

Dromiceiomimus: I mean - decorate our yards with giant plastic Hallowe'en skeletons, presumably.
T-Rex: No, see, the first use of any new technology is to emulate the old ones - taking plastic skeletons and making them bigger. That's where we STARTED.

Utahraptor: But where will we END?
T-Rex: Exactly!!

T-Rex: 100 years from now, what will this technology of LARGER-THAN-LIFE WEATHERPROOF SCULPTURE be used for, beyond spooky skeletons?
Utahraptor: Perhaps... giant plastic signs? For when trucks keep hitting a low bridge, for example.
T-Rex: I love it!!

Narrator: BUT THEN, FIELD TRIALS DEMONSTRATE THAT GIANT SKELETONS HOLDING A "LOW BRIDGE" SIGN ARE EVEN MORE EFFECTIVE:
T-Rex: Huh!
T-Rex: Got it in one, I guess

November 3, 2025 at 1:09 PM

Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

are we to shorten it even further, to "Halloween", without the apostrophe? no, you'll pry that contraction marker from my cold dead hands... which is, at least, on theme

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

T-Rex: I have an idea for the spookiest night of the year! We shall call it...
T-Rex: ...THE DAY BEFORE ALL SAINTS' DAY!

God: NAME COULD USE SOME WORK T-REX
T-Rex: Fine!

T-Rex: Seeing as I am unable OR UNWILLING to move it from the day before the day Western Christians honour EVERY ONE of the hallowed saints of their church, what if we call it... "The Evening Before The Solemnity of All Saints"?
God: AGAIN THAT DOESN'T REALLY SAY SPOOKY TO ME
T-Rex: Well if that's the case, I don't know what will!!

Utahraptor: "The Night Before All Hallows Day"?
T-Rex: "All Hallows' Evening"?

Utahraptor: Oooh, I think we're getting close. What we make more and more of the name optional, turning "All Hallows' Evening" to "(All) Hallow(s') E(v)en(ing)"?
T-Rex: "Hallowe'en"? Hmm. I like it!! And we can go door-to-door getting CANDY!

God: ALSO YOU CAN GO BOBBING FOR APPLES WHICH IS A FUN WAY TO GET YOUR FACE WET WHILE BITING AN APPLE OTHERS HAVE TRIED TO BITE FIRST
T-Rex: I think that part's less important but sure

October 31, 2025 at 1:02 PM

Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

this is why true pros go on "hikes", which are walks in wilderness areas where there aren't any stores so you can't buy ANYTHING and can also sometimes DIE

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

T-Rex: Okay - time to go for a nice walk!

T-Rex: And maybe I'll stick my head in some shops along the way??

Narrator: LATER:
Dromiceiomimus: Hey, how's that walk going, T-Rex?
T-Rex: I realized it wasn't a walk at all! It was a shopping trip that I just did on foot. I pranked myself!
T-Rex: But now, Dromiceiomimus, I am going on a REAL walk. NO COMMERCE, baby!!

Narrator: BUT THEN:
T-Rex: Dang it, I got some food!
Utahraptor: What's up?

T-Rex: I'm trying to enjoy a nice walk but INSTEAD, I keep buying things! Have I ever ACTUALLY gone for a walk without buying ANYTHING?
Utahraptor: Only you can answer that.
T-Rex: Well, I'm starting now!!

Narrator: LATER, AT EVEREST BASE CAMP:
T-Rex: Wow, NOBODY here knows about the Everest Eliminator, the mysterious being secretly responsible for all so-called "mountaineering accidents" up on the peak??
Off panel: Who ARE you

October 29, 2025 at 12:04 PM

Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

okay teeth are probably worth it but COME ON

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

T-Rex: Ah yes, time for a nice cup of tea.
God: TEA STAINS YOUR TEETH T-REX
T-Rex: What?!

T-Rex: Is God a DENTIST now??

God: I MEAN I'M THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA THE BEGINNING AND THE END AND SOMEWHERE BETWEEN THOSE TWO POINTS ARE DENTISTS SO YEAH
T-Rex: Okay, well, instead of tea I'll just have some stupid coffee. Is THAT okay?
God: COFFEE ALSO STAINS YOUR TEETH T-REX
T-Rex: Dang it!!

Utahraptor: What's up, bud?
T-Rex: Oh, God's a dentist now.
Utahraptor: Oof.

T-Rex: Right? EVERYTHING I propose to use my teeth for, HE'S against. What if I drink coffee or tea, AND alternate each sip with a rinse of water to prevent staining, AND brush my teeth immediately afterwards?
Utahraptor: No-one could object to that!

God: WELL ACTUALLY YOU SHOULD WAIT AT LEAST HALF AN HOUR BEFORE BRUSHING AFTER FOOD SINCE ACIDS IN MANY FOODS CAN SOFTEN YOUR ENAMEL
T-Rex: TEETH
T-Rex: are BARELY WORTH IT

October 27, 2025 at 12:36 PM

Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

anyway bottom line is i do NOT have experience with successfully getting away with charismatic high-profile heists, so let's all look into someone else before even CONSIDERING me

qwantz.com/index.php?co...

T-Rex: Let's say I go and visit, oh, I don't know, THE LOUVRE -

T-Rex: - home of the greatest treasures of European art and culture! -

T-Rex: - and then, PURELY FOR THE SAKE OF ARGUMENT, there's a super successful heist two days later and they steal the exact gemeralds I took a bunch of photos of. AM I A SUSPECT?
Dromiceiomimus: Were you casing the joint?
T-Rex: No, I was being a normal tourist doing normal things for normal reasons! But that's just it - being a normal tourist guy is INDISTINGUISHABLE from casing the joint!

Utahraptor: Well, you weren't around for the crime itself, right?
T-Rex: Not even on the same continent!

T-Rex: But I'll tell you this much: if I WERE going to steal jewels, then I would totally recruit a tourist to case the joint, and then, once they left the country, use their intel to pull off my heist.
Utahraptor: Huh. Yeah, that does sound good. That's a good plan!

Off panel: If you're so innocent, why are you making yourself seem a VIABLE SUSPECT, T-Rex?
T-Rex: And now I'm naturally curious how one would go about fencing world-famous crown jewels, but with only a normal amount of curiosity!
T-Rex: ONLY THE AMOUNT THAT LEAVES ME INNOCENT, I SWEAR!

October 24, 2025 at 12:40 PM

Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

Timmy is BACK and ALMOST ON SCHEDULE

qwantz.com/index.php?co...

T-Rex: One day little Timmy got a THIRD wish from a genie. But we don't care about him anymore because his wish was that all countries got turned into real live women!

T-Rex: Hah hah! Timmy, you're out of control!

T-Rex: Anyway, the women that resulted were all precisely what you'd expect: ladies that dressed like and reflected the popular conception of a country. You don't need me for this; you can all imagine it.
Dromiceiomimus: Were there some surprises?
T-Rex: YES, mainly in the fact that ALL NATIONS WERE NOW WOMEN??

T-Rex: And as most nations claim both the air above them AND the ground beneath them as their territory...
Utahraptor: Oh no!

T-Rex: OH YES - that transformed TOO! Suddenly the air above nations was GONE - turned into a woman! - along with the ground beneath them and the seas off their borders. CATACLYSM arrived as Earth's core burst out of colossal holes in the crust, killing everyone save Timmy and the women.

Off panel: That's a big ending, T-Rex.
T-Rex: It's not just that - it's also the beginning of my NEW story, called "Little Timmy and Two Hundred Or So Country Women on PLANET APOCALYPSE."
T-Rex: It's WAY more interesting and I really should've started with it, but OH WELL!!

October 22, 2025 at 12:44 PM

Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

throw in a killer robot, a mamma's boy, and a sprinkle of mean girls, and we are in BUSINESS

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...

T-Rex: My new story is about an absent-minded professor, whose life is fine...

T-Rex: ...until a wacky, ANNOYING neighbour moves in next door!

T-Rex: Of course, things don't end there - ESPECIALLY when the absent-minded professor's gay best friend enters the scene! And who could forget bad boy bounty hunter who lives next door (the other way next door I mean) and his wacky and outgoing theatre-kid nephew?

Utahraptor: Dude, you've GOT to try harder.
T-Rex: Explain!

Utahraptor: Every one of these people is a stock character! EVERY ONE, T-Rex. What's next, a sleazy lawyer? A stripper with a heart of gold? An old drunk redneck who's secretly a MARTIAL ARTS MASTER??
T-Rex: Okay, point taken, but that last one is actually pretty cool.

Off panel: Ah-HA! That last one was a trap: I merely combined the "redneck", "town drunk", and "elderly martial arts master" stereotypes into one person!
T-Rex: DAMN!!

October 15, 2025 at 11:50 AM

Dinosaur Comics!

@qwantz.com

my new calendar presupposes earth's orbit has been adjusted from the old style (the planet taking a full 365.2422 days to complete a single orbit around sun) to the new style (a comfortable yet zippy 7)

www.qwantz.com/index.php?co...