Phil's Random Thoughts
@philrandomthoughts.bsky.social
It's me, the real Phil's Random Thoughts you knew and loved on Twitter and Fuckbook.
Got up way too early to make it to my daughter's state bowling championship, which is an incredibly white event. I'm pretty sure my daughter and I are the only people wearing masks, as well.
February 9, 2026 at 5:01 PM
Got up way too early to make it to my daughter's state bowling championship, which is an incredibly white event. I'm pretty sure my daughter and I are the only people wearing masks, as well.
"Useth racism and bigotry to distracteth thine people from thine crimes."- Republicanus 2:5
February 8, 2026 at 3:47 PM
"Useth racism and bigotry to distracteth thine people from thine crimes."- Republicanus 2:5
In another example of petty bullshit by the Taco Regime, the State Department is going to delete every post on Twitter that was put up before they returned to power.
February 7, 2026 at 3:16 PM
In another example of petty bullshit by the Taco Regime, the State Department is going to delete every post on Twitter that was put up before they returned to power.
18 years ago, I became a dad, still the best moment of my life, and I'm so proud of the person she's become.
February 6, 2026 at 3:55 PM
18 years ago, I became a dad, still the best moment of my life, and I'm so proud of the person she's become.
Very cool, layoffs and hiring are the worst since The Great Recession! I guess this is how we make Murica great again...?
February 5, 2026 at 3:11 PM
Very cool, layoffs and hiring are the worst since The Great Recession! I guess this is how we make Murica great again...?
Oh my gawd, the Taco Regime is investigating Nike for discrimination... Against white employees. Yeah, I'm sure that's totally real, and definitely not some white supremacist bullshit from the orange taco.
February 5, 2026 at 6:25 AM
Oh my gawd, the Taco Regime is investigating Nike for discrimination... Against white employees. Yeah, I'm sure that's totally real, and definitely not some white supremacist bullshit from the orange taco.
Douchebag chuds: "Mental health treatment is for the weak! Therapy is for cowards and sissies!"
Same chuds: "Why is veteran suicide so common?!"
Same chuds: "Why is veteran suicide so common?!"
February 4, 2026 at 4:14 PM
Douchebag chuds: "Mental health treatment is for the weak! Therapy is for cowards and sissies!"
Same chuds: "Why is veteran suicide so common?!"
Same chuds: "Why is veteran suicide so common?!"
It's crazy how things are so fucked up that hardly anyone is paying attention to a government shutdown entering its fourth day, or the massive missile strikes Russia has been launching at Ukrainian power infrastructure and innocent civilians.
February 3, 2026 at 3:33 PM
It's crazy how things are so fucked up that hardly anyone is paying attention to a government shutdown entering its fourth day, or the massive missile strikes Russia has been launching at Ukrainian power infrastructure and innocent civilians.
Something flying under the radar is the Taco Regime rolling back environmental and safety regulations for all new nuclear power plants. Again, what could possibly go wrong?!
February 3, 2026 at 7:09 AM
Something flying under the radar is the Taco Regime rolling back environmental and safety regulations for all new nuclear power plants. Again, what could possibly go wrong?!
No big deal, just the orange taco saying his party should run all elections. Luckily, things like that NEVER lead to corruption, suppression, or one party authoritarian rule...
February 2, 2026 at 10:06 PM
No big deal, just the orange taco saying his party should run all elections. Luckily, things like that NEVER lead to corruption, suppression, or one party authoritarian rule...
Today is the first day of Black History Month, or as the MAGAts call it "Why do [Slur] get a month, where's white people's holidays?!"
February 1, 2026 at 10:23 PM
Today is the first day of Black History Month, or as the MAGAts call it "Why do [Slur] get a month, where's white people's holidays?!"
"Promoteth thine favorite prostitute's imaginary life story to distracteth from thou declaring war upon thine people and violating children."- Republicanus 26:30
February 1, 2026 at 3:37 PM
"Promoteth thine favorite prostitute's imaginary life story to distracteth from thou declaring war upon thine people and violating children."- Republicanus 26:30
Dad brag moments:
My daughter aced all of her finals again, is still carrying a 4.0, and is currently the valedictorian.
And today she helped carry her high school bowling team to the state championships!
My daughter aced all of her finals again, is still carrying a 4.0, and is currently the valedictorian.
And today she helped carry her high school bowling team to the state championships!
February 1, 2026 at 5:54 AM
Dad brag moments:
My daughter aced all of her finals again, is still carrying a 4.0, and is currently the valedictorian.
And today she helped carry her high school bowling team to the state championships!
My daughter aced all of her finals again, is still carrying a 4.0, and is currently the valedictorian.
And today she helped carry her high school bowling team to the state championships!
So this round of the Trumpstein files are brutally graphic and describe the orange taco raping multiple children, as well as naming plenty of prominent wealthy white men. The silence from the RepubliQan Party, most elected Democrats, the wealthy elite, and the mainstream media is deafening.
January 31, 2026 at 6:13 PM
So this round of the Trumpstein files are brutally graphic and describe the orange taco raping multiple children, as well as naming plenty of prominent wealthy white men. The silence from the RepubliQan Party, most elected Democrats, the wealthy elite, and the mainstream media is deafening.
FYI, the orange taco suing the IRS for leaking his tax records is confirmation that the documents published by various news sources in the past 10 years are real, despite his claims to the contrary. It's also a blatant cash grab from the government that he controls.
January 31, 2026 at 6:36 AM
FYI, the orange taco suing the IRS for leaking his tax records is confirmation that the documents published by various news sources in the past 10 years are real, despite his claims to the contrary. It's also a blatant cash grab from the government that he controls.
One of the weirdest traits of toxic masculinity to me is the complete disdain or outright disgust for any sort of safety protocols, measures, or equipment. What is "manly" about injuring or endangering yourself stupidly?
January 30, 2026 at 10:36 PM
One of the weirdest traits of toxic masculinity to me is the complete disdain or outright disgust for any sort of safety protocols, measures, or equipment. What is "manly" about injuring or endangering yourself stupidly?
I really hope I get a shackle near the window on the train to the "shower" camp when my turn comes.
January 30, 2026 at 8:41 PM
I really hope I get a shackle near the window on the train to the "shower" camp when my turn comes.
The day is starting with the arrests of multiple journalists, but this is totally not a fascist authoritarian regime...
January 30, 2026 at 1:44 PM
The day is starting with the arrests of multiple journalists, but this is totally not a fascist authoritarian regime...
The people who believe that a fake assassination attempt where someone's ear magically regrew within 2 days was real are trying to say a drunk MAGAt spraying vinegar on Ilhan Omar was staged.
January 29, 2026 at 5:30 PM
The people who believe that a fake assassination attempt where someone's ear magically regrew within 2 days was real are trying to say a drunk MAGAt spraying vinegar on Ilhan Omar was staged.
Sonuvabitch, Upchuck Schumer is negotiating with the orange taco on a spending bill that continues to fund the ICEholes and DHS as a whole, with the bullshit limitations of no masks, body cameras, and use of force that is the same as local law enforcement.
January 29, 2026 at 3:08 PM
Sonuvabitch, Upchuck Schumer is negotiating with the orange taco on a spending bill that continues to fund the ICEholes and DHS as a whole, with the bullshit limitations of no masks, body cameras, and use of force that is the same as local law enforcement.
So apparently there is a big kerfuffle over creepy groomer and well known football rule breaker Bill Belicheat not getting into the Pro Football Hall of Fame, because his supporters want everyone to overlook the fact that he sucked without Tommy, cheated multiple times as a head coach,
January 29, 2026 at 2:52 AM
So apparently there is a big kerfuffle over creepy groomer and well known football rule breaker Bill Belicheat not getting into the Pro Football Hall of Fame, because his supporters want everyone to overlook the fact that he sucked without Tommy, cheated multiple times as a head coach,
I've just gotta laugh my ass off at the "Latinas for Trump" founder being stopped at the airport and briefly questioned because she speaks Spanish, and her family has been hassled by ICEholes. She really doesn't believe this is what she voted for, despite the fact we ALL told her it was.
January 28, 2026 at 2:12 AM
I've just gotta laugh my ass off at the "Latinas for Trump" founder being stopped at the airport and briefly questioned because she speaks Spanish, and her family has been hassled by ICEholes. She really doesn't believe this is what she voted for, despite the fact we ALL told her it was.
Don't look now, but India and the EU have reached a massive trade agreement that further makes US trade insignificant for both, while the orange taco reneges on agreements he made with other nations just weeks ago.
January 27, 2026 at 5:32 PM
Don't look now, but India and the EU have reached a massive trade agreement that further makes US trade insignificant for both, while the orange taco reneges on agreements he made with other nations just weeks ago.
Just a reminder, people know who the ICEholes are, they have neighbors, family, disgruntled former coworkers, etc. During and after WWII, resistance movements throughout Europe would either ambush Nazis and collaborators at their houses or on their way out, or sometimes just blow the house up.
January 27, 2026 at 4:45 AM
Just a reminder, people know who the ICEholes are, they have neighbors, family, disgruntled former coworkers, etc. During and after WWII, resistance movements throughout Europe would either ambush Nazis and collaborators at their houses or on their way out, or sometimes just blow the house up.
Greg Himmler Bovino has been relieved of his post, and is being returned to his dumpster, and the Taco Regime is backtracking heavily on their stance against Minnesota.
Unfortunately, Upchuck Schumer is trying to convince Senate Democrats to cave in and fund the ICEholes,
Unfortunately, Upchuck Schumer is trying to convince Senate Democrats to cave in and fund the ICEholes,
January 27, 2026 at 3:34 AM
Greg Himmler Bovino has been relieved of his post, and is being returned to his dumpster, and the Taco Regime is backtracking heavily on their stance against Minnesota.
Unfortunately, Upchuck Schumer is trying to convince Senate Democrats to cave in and fund the ICEholes,
Unfortunately, Upchuck Schumer is trying to convince Senate Democrats to cave in and fund the ICEholes,