Life pro tip: don’t be fat ugly or stupid

I ate the vaccine

Question for men: you meet a girl and discover that she elected to do a non-medical full mouth dental extraction is this a smash or a red flag

Just pick a dream from the vending machine

She smells like suntan lotion and gasoline

Crabs are ancient creatures that look so alien that they seem cursed. Like god is speaking through the crab and the message he is trying to impart is dark and terrifying

Mood

Last night I made out with a Russian bot. It was kinda nice

I have crabs

Hello friends what type of seismic meltdown are we in the mood for today?