🎬 Short Movie Reviews 🍿
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paragraphfilms.bsky.social
🎬 Short Movie Reviews 🍿
@paragraphfilms.bsky.social
📼 Film reviews: world cinema, action, B-Movies, & TV.
📝 Letterboxd. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 #FilmSky
⚠️ Longer takes in the Alt Text
ME: I'm going to watch so many great films in 2026.

ALSO ME:
February 1, 2026 at 10:18 PM
THE FENCE (🇬🇧 GB 2022) the period detail is fantastic: from the clothes, cars, & locations down to insanely specific British culture like the school fights, car atlas... Although the story was all over the place, it looked great and I enjoyed every minute spent in this setting.

SCORE: 6.5/10
January 31, 2026 at 11:59 AM
THE TANK (🇩🇪 DE 2025) Some intense battle & action scenes, and it dives into 'following orders' & Third Reich atrocities. The bridge, minefield, tank battles & water scenes are fantastic - Das Boot levels of creaky tension. Well directed, but the conclusion is an absolute shitshow.

SCORE: 7/10
January 31, 2026 at 11:53 AM
KILLER SOFA (🇳🇿 NZ 2019) Minimal gore, no nudity, even swearing - unforgivable for something sold as a schlocky B-movie! For a film about a murderous sofa, it makes the ultimate sin of being boring & serious. The promising premise makes a good poster & trailer, that's it!

SCORE: 3/10
B-MOVIE: 1/10
January 27, 2026 at 9:52 AM
INTERVIEW (🇮🇳 1971) Experimental, meta, and political Indian film with a high rating. Very cinematic, loads of striking imagery & bold editing: feels closer to French or Czech. The messaging definitely feels like a "first film", but there's plenty of memorable moments in here.

SCORE: 7/10
January 27, 2026 at 9:47 AM
DEATH BY LIGHTNING (🇺🇸 S1) tries to cram too much into four episodes. Strong cast, a decent script, but the humour / fun aspect was very hit and miss. Does a good job of shining a light on a little known (at least outside of America) and quite interesting part of American history.

SCORE: 6/10
January 27, 2026 at 9:43 AM
POLICE STORY: LOCKDOWN (🇭🇰🇨🇳 2013) Ripe dialogue and grim tone that's miles off the original films. None of the playful energy or action. Too serious, wordy, generic, & too boring. When you see the CCP production logo up top you know you're in for a state-sanctioned lesson in 'morality'.

SCORE: 3/10
January 27, 2026 at 9:39 AM
D13 / DISTRICT B13 (🇫🇷 FR 2004) A funny reminder of insane "Max Power" car & lad culture of the time. Being based on parkour, this has some of the best & most breathless stunts going. Packed with action & social commentary - and clocking in at 80 mins - this is a lovely wee French treat.

SCORE: 7/10
January 27, 2026 at 9:35 AM
HIJACK (🇬🇧 S1) tense, gripping, and moreish cranked-up drama. The premise & motives are slowly revealed and every moment is wrung for maximum tension. As with most shows the final episode becomes ridiculous and asks you to suspend a lot of disbelief. Neil Maskell is a national treasure.

SCORE: 7/10
January 19, 2026 at 11:37 PM
LOOK BACK (🇯🇵 JP 2024) hour long animé. Structure is odd - one or two scenes of plot/dialogue that cues up a soppily-scored montage engineered to manipulate your feelings - rinse and repeat. It's fine, but is definitely aimed at the weebs and a younger "OMG this is so me" crowd.

SCORE: 6/10
January 19, 2026 at 11:33 PM
NO OTHER CHOICE (🇰🇷 KR 2025) the direction and editing are striking and meticulous, throwing out vibrant images that are a pleasure to take in. The plot is where this falls short; a post/sub-Parasite yarn that is far too slapstick and absurd - maybe the humour just doesn't travel well.

SCORE: 7/10
January 19, 2026 at 11:29 PM
McWALTER (🇧🇬🇫🇷🇺🇸 2025) a Bulgarian-French spy parody that's crammed with the silliest jokes you can imagine. Basically a Naked Gun film. The first hour was fantastic - with gags every ten seconds at some points - but the final act flops hard and the jokes really dry up.

SCORE: 6/10
January 19, 2026 at 11:23 PM
SGT. KABUKIMAN N.Y.P.D (🇺🇸 US 1990) More creative, funnier, and entertaining than almost every superhero flick before and after. Top tier, and one of the most wild and enjoyable B-movies I can remember watching. Cleverly-shot, non-stop, absolutely bonkers schlock and fun.

SCORE: 8/10
B-MOVIE: 9.5/10
January 19, 2026 at 11:16 PM
KILLER TONGUE (🇪🇸🇬🇧 1996) Completely unhinged, cinematic ambition, & surprisingly well shot; but the editing makes this an absolute nightmare to follow. Gore, aliens, horror FX, phallic tongues, and drag queen dogs... A truly bizarre film - 90 mins of weapons grade WTF!?!?

SCORE: 5/10
B-MOVIE: 7.5/10
January 19, 2026 at 11:11 PM
THE RIP (🇺🇸 US 2026) gritty cop drama that twists and turns it's way through the runtime. I'm fed up with the 'Netflix look' - it feels so cheap. The okayest film you'll see this year: huge names on autopilot earning easy money, and you'll forget everything about this in a week or so.

SCORE: 6/10
January 17, 2026 at 11:24 PM
WHITE LOTUS (🇺🇸 S3) feels like a parody of earlier seasons - slow motion scenery and inane chatter with about ten mins of meaningful plot per hour. Token bizarre sex acts thrown in for notoriety. Lazy and dull compared to S1 and S2.

SCORE: 5/10
January 14, 2026 at 4:42 PM
SIRĀT (🇪🇸🇫🇷 2025) road trip set in the Moroccan desert. Hypnotic laser raves, and 'music video' type segments. It's quite arthousy; long takes, slow pacing, & vibes-based shooting. Throws up a few of the most unexpected and "Holy Shit" scenes I can remember - and the final act is INTENSE!

SCORE: 7/10
January 14, 2026 at 4:39 PM
TRAIN DREAMS (🇺🇸 US 2025) Arthouse Forest Gump, tells the life story of a simple man in a cinematic manner. It looks gorgeous and is full of Terence Malik style shots. Some lazy narration - my bugbear. Fantastic turn by Edgerton, but it's all too slight, slow, and poetic for my taste.

SCORE: 6/10
January 14, 2026 at 4:33 PM
I SWEAR (🇬🇧🇮🇪 2025) incredible performances from the young & old Johns. Not as upbeat as the trailer suggests: every laugh comes from the inappropriate ticks, which feels like lazy writing. A fascinating & unbelievable life story told in quite a safe and pedestrian made-for-TV manner.

SCORE: 7/10
January 14, 2026 at 4:30 PM
MEAN GIRLS (🇺🇸 US 2004) I am 100% the wrong age, nationality, and sex to be coming to Mean Girls for the first time. Loads of sass, quips, and very much a product of its time. I enjoyed seeing a generation of new talent right before they became huge - that was about it.

SCORE: 3/10
January 6, 2026 at 3:13 PM
TERRA (🇫🇷 FR 2015) TV-testing grade footage of vibrant colours, cultures, animals, and scenery. Planet Earth informs the first half, while Koyaanisqatsi looms large over the second. Shocking scenes of industrial butchery & farming, poaching, and ship-breaking. YouTube video essay vibes!

SCORE: 5/10
January 6, 2026 at 3:10 PM
METAL LORDS (🇺🇸 US 2022) Looks & feels like a kid's film but is filled with incredibly detailed heavy metal lore and gags. Carried by hundreds of neat observations about practicing, playing live, music gear, and being in bands. It's no HEAVY TRIP, but is worth a gamble for metalheads.

SCORE: 6.5/10
January 6, 2026 at 3:00 PM
PAN'S LABYRINTH (🇲🇽🇪🇸🇺🇸 2006) A children's fairytale that's so violent only adults can watch it. Impressive direction, SFX hold up well, and the story is complex and can be read in endless ways. Fantastic & ambitious filmmaking - an oddity that I imagine would struggle to get made today.

SCORE: 7.5/10
January 4, 2026 at 11:57 AM
BETTER MAN (🇦🇺🇬🇧🇺🇸🇨🇳🇨🇾 2024) The monkey choice is mad - every single scene made me wonder "why the fuck did they do that!?" Unforgivable that it drops RWs best songs in favour of the slow ballads to fit the narrative and tone of the movie. Car crash final act doesn't know how to end.

SCORE: 5.5/10
January 4, 2026 at 11:52 AM
ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE (🇬🇧 GB 1969) A long, slow, & unforgivably boring Bond film. All the action scenes look like dogshit; awful cutting & speed ramping. Spends the runtime desperately trying to convince you it's a real Bond film, down to the dodgy Connery accent impersonation.

SCORE: 3/10
January 4, 2026 at 11:44 AM