With bewilderment they ask, "Are you a witch ‽"

Unsure how to proceed in this conversation, and unsure if I have dementia (I do), I ask, "Doctor, did they only teach you prompt writing in medical school?"

The doctor weeps into my apple sauce cup, not knowing they are allergic to cinnamon.

Confused, I ask, "you need an electronic device to tell you when you eat?"

Again they shout, "BUT I KNOW HOW TO PHRASE THE PROMPT"

"It sounds to me like your body is telling you it's hungry. Here, have some of my apple sauce," I say gently.

They are hyperventilating and hysterical.

"You don't know the feelings in your own body," I ask — again wondering if my brain has been chewed by worms.

"I KNOW HOW TO ASK AI", they shout.

I sigh.

"When did you eat last," I ask.

"I DONT KNOW MY PHONE DIED," they scream at me.

"Well, dinner is usually between 5 and 7 pm. Are you feeling a strange feeling, a rumbling, in your stomach?"

"Yeah. ChatGPT would tell me if it's indigestion, gas, or hunger. Do you think I feel hungry right now? Or is it cancer?"

"Do you not know when to eat dinner without a personal assistant," I ask, curious if I am living in a nightmare (I am)

"Well I know how to ask my AI, but my phone died, " they retort.

I stare out the window, regretting that I dedicated 30 years of my life to software engineering.

"Do you know when fdoo evnening eat tme is," they ask me, saying each of those words aloud like a cursed autocorrect.

"Dinner? Are you asking me if it's dinner time," I ask, becoming convinced that I am sundowning ( I'm not).

"Yeah. Is it time for me to eat d... Dinn...ner"

Then they ask, "how did you know what it said without using your phone?"

"Are you seriously asking me how I read a watch without using an AI," I ask.

"Yeah. Like... You just looked at it and knew. You didn't prompt anything."

"I... Learned it. A long time ago"

"It's 5:13pm," I say.
"How do you know that," they ask.

"I looked at my watch," I respond, uncertain if I have early onset dementia. (I do)

"Is the watch the thing in your pocket," they ask.

"It is," I say as I ask myself, "chat, is this real?"

Congratulations. That's a lot of hard work.

I wish you all the success those other dorks could only hope for.