We need to re-sign Cave, immediately, because, um, all the reasons

Of course, the rumors now make so much more sense re: how he slathers his mannequin collection in mayonnaise...

I dunno, I might be doing this wrong

Sure, yes, yes I have responsibilities and mouths to feed but don't think for a moment I wouldn't give it all up to rent a car and drive over the Vincent Thomas Bridge and then when that was over realize that, well shit,I probably didn't have to give all of that up, seems like overkill in retrospect

I mean, there was a plane in Die Hard that's where the movie starts but there were more planes in Die Hard 2 which was a shit movie, c'mon, but Die Hard 3 Lost In New York was better even though it didn't have Secret Service Agent John Vukovich who'd make a solid contribution there, I know this

No this thread isn't some edgelord shit don't tell people that it's about a Christmas movie not named "Die Hard" nor is it a descent into madness, hell,that plane landed, pulled up to the gate and I'm getting my luggage which is more than Carl Cody took to the airport when he tried using funny money

Don't even get me started on the piss poor OPSEC around <waves at everything> FBI Special Agent Thomas Ling, just laughable shit, wasn't a Merry Xmas season for him because he died

Not as long though as the career of Agent Jimmy Hart, who was just about to retire, but he was done dirty by an LA artist and known money launderer + his henchman - related, what if the bad guy Ric Masters was just miscast here when he clearly belonged in Buckaroo Banzai's band, goddamn 1980s man

I quit smoking like 20 years ago but I'm starting to feel like that was a mistake, much like Agent Chance trusting Carl Cody was a mistake, and these things aren't remotely related scratch that it was a bad analogy my God it was a long week

If I had a dog I'd probably name him Wag Chung but I don't have a dog, if I did I'd drive a million miles to be with him tonight and everybody have fun tonight- also keep Agent Richard Chance in your prayers if you do that kind of thing

Can't stop won't stop, interpretive dance time

Maybe I need to just "Wake Up, Stop Dreaming" but no, I'm here on Bluesky where if I post no one sees it anyway b/c I'm not bitching about politics, I'm talking Wang Chung and fine no one gives a fuck, it was 40 years ago sure but this soundtrack is forever you rat bastards and think of Willem Dafoe

<Takes the family for a drive in an '85 Chevy Impala with the rear windshield blown out>
"It's authentic, like the movie, remember the chase scene...I mean, I know it's November in Colorado and not LA, but if just kick the heater to high it'll feel like LA...
<whispers to self> it'll feel like LA"

Tells my family, "I know it's a little early for Christmas music, but"
<plays "To Live and Die in LA" by Wang Chung>