Riley May
@omegariley.bsky.social
He/Him, LGBT+ AuDHD
Just a guy being a dude.
Gonna let the fame go to my head.
Just a guy being a dude.
Gonna let the fame go to my head.
Pinned
Riley May
@omegariley.bsky.social
· May 13
I have something horrible to admit.
I'm 5'6.
I'm 5'6.
Caught myself thinking about playing Destiny 2 like I was thinking about a toxic ex.
"I shouldn't call her... then again."
"I shouldn't call her... then again."
January 10, 2026 at 8:15 PM
Caught myself thinking about playing Destiny 2 like I was thinking about a toxic ex.
"I shouldn't call her... then again."
"I shouldn't call her... then again."
I used to go by Little Richard, but my gal told me it wasn't a very fitting nickname. 😏
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Now everyone calls me Thimble Prick Rick 🙁
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Now everyone calls me Thimble Prick Rick 🙁
January 7, 2026 at 5:13 PM
I used to go by Little Richard, but my gal told me it wasn't a very fitting nickname. 😏
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Now everyone calls me Thimble Prick Rick 🙁
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Now everyone calls me Thimble Prick Rick 🙁
Installing a gyroscope in my penis to add some stability to my sex life.
January 3, 2026 at 3:16 AM
Installing a gyroscope in my penis to add some stability to my sex life.
The quest for tools is unending. I will never get tired of firing up a power tool for the first time and having a moment of "Wow they really didn't card me for this?"
I got a new angle grinder and look forward to wreaking havoc with it.
I got a new angle grinder and look forward to wreaking havoc with it.
January 2, 2026 at 3:59 AM
The quest for tools is unending. I will never get tired of firing up a power tool for the first time and having a moment of "Wow they really didn't card me for this?"
I got a new angle grinder and look forward to wreaking havoc with it.
I got a new angle grinder and look forward to wreaking havoc with it.
Reposted by Riley May
Is pathetic and desperate back in vogue, or are we still on strong capable mascs?
I can't keep up with these trends.
I can't keep up with these trends.
November 23, 2025 at 1:12 PM
Is pathetic and desperate back in vogue, or are we still on strong capable mascs?
I can't keep up with these trends.
I can't keep up with these trends.
For as comically dysfunctional as the Malcolm In The Middle family is, the parents relationship is kinda beautifully portrayed.
They frequently take time to reassure and comfort one another. They're exceptionally supportive, and they drop everything to express their love.
It's really sweet.
They frequently take time to reassure and comfort one another. They're exceptionally supportive, and they drop everything to express their love.
It's really sweet.
December 25, 2025 at 12:45 PM
For as comically dysfunctional as the Malcolm In The Middle family is, the parents relationship is kinda beautifully portrayed.
They frequently take time to reassure and comfort one another. They're exceptionally supportive, and they drop everything to express their love.
It's really sweet.
They frequently take time to reassure and comfort one another. They're exceptionally supportive, and they drop everything to express their love.
It's really sweet.
I sure could use a catheter right about now.
December 23, 2025 at 12:05 AM
I sure could use a catheter right about now.
Just got my 5 year chip from AA. Never been an alcoholoic, but those idiots keep giving me new chips anyways. Plus they have no idea I drink untill I black out every day. What a bunch of rubes!
December 15, 2025 at 9:25 AM
Just got my 5 year chip from AA. Never been an alcoholoic, but those idiots keep giving me new chips anyways. Plus they have no idea I drink untill I black out every day. What a bunch of rubes!
Been thinking about eating Randy Newman to absorb his powers.
December 14, 2025 at 9:16 AM
Been thinking about eating Randy Newman to absorb his powers.
Been trying to teach my pet bird to sing, and he's really taken to Weird Al, and Captain Sparklez.
I guess he just has a thing for parrot-y.
I guess he just has a thing for parrot-y.
December 13, 2025 at 2:14 PM
Been trying to teach my pet bird to sing, and he's really taken to Weird Al, and Captain Sparklez.
I guess he just has a thing for parrot-y.
I guess he just has a thing for parrot-y.
Been thinkin' about joining the la li lu le lo. Finally make something of myself.
December 13, 2025 at 2:04 PM
Been thinkin' about joining the la li lu le lo. Finally make something of myself.
I'm proud to say I've finally had it confirmed to me that I have sexy feet.
This has been a mood booster.
This has been a mood booster.
December 11, 2025 at 12:45 AM
I'm proud to say I've finally had it confirmed to me that I have sexy feet.
This has been a mood booster.
This has been a mood booster.
Reposted by Riley May
I desire a Warrior Bride. I must overcome her if I wish to cum over her.
June 2, 2025 at 11:00 AM
I desire a Warrior Bride. I must overcome her if I wish to cum over her.
Reposted by Riley May
Why would I take fiber supplements when I can just boof the wd-40 pen?
Slick me up sweet ambrosia of lubricity.
Slick me up sweet ambrosia of lubricity.
June 16, 2025 at 12:56 PM
Why would I take fiber supplements when I can just boof the wd-40 pen?
Slick me up sweet ambrosia of lubricity.
Slick me up sweet ambrosia of lubricity.
Reposted by Riley May
Poor financial decision of the day, 30 dollar 900lb pull force neodymium magnet.
With this maybe I'll finally be able to pick up the heavily pierced baddie of my dreams.
With this maybe I'll finally be able to pick up the heavily pierced baddie of my dreams.
June 22, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Poor financial decision of the day, 30 dollar 900lb pull force neodymium magnet.
With this maybe I'll finally be able to pick up the heavily pierced baddie of my dreams.
With this maybe I'll finally be able to pick up the heavily pierced baddie of my dreams.
Reposted by Riley May
Golden retriever boyfriends are out. Nowfoundland boyfriends are in.
I want to scare off predators for you and receive scratches and good boys as payment. Is that so much to ask?
I want to scare off predators for you and receive scratches and good boys as payment. Is that so much to ask?
June 28, 2025 at 4:27 AM
Golden retriever boyfriends are out. Nowfoundland boyfriends are in.
I want to scare off predators for you and receive scratches and good boys as payment. Is that so much to ask?
I want to scare off predators for you and receive scratches and good boys as payment. Is that so much to ask?
Reposted by Riley May
I gotta be honest. I had a wonderful time on this date. This might be a bit of a reach, but you wanna come back to my place and I can give you the Sticky Icky Gooey Kablooey?
August 14, 2025 at 8:46 AM
I gotta be honest. I had a wonderful time on this date. This might be a bit of a reach, but you wanna come back to my place and I can give you the Sticky Icky Gooey Kablooey?
I accidentally gagged and aspirated my ritalin, so I think I might have the power to solve racism in like 20 minutes.
December 5, 2025 at 12:05 AM
I accidentally gagged and aspirated my ritalin, so I think I might have the power to solve racism in like 20 minutes.
I'm a simple man.
I see a Microtech OTF pocketknife, I get blindingly enraged and go on a 15 minute rant about their overpriced pieces of shit that I hate with the passion of the north korean military.
I see a Microtech OTF pocketknife, I get blindingly enraged and go on a 15 minute rant about their overpriced pieces of shit that I hate with the passion of the north korean military.
December 3, 2025 at 2:38 PM
I'm a simple man.
I see a Microtech OTF pocketknife, I get blindingly enraged and go on a 15 minute rant about their overpriced pieces of shit that I hate with the passion of the north korean military.
I see a Microtech OTF pocketknife, I get blindingly enraged and go on a 15 minute rant about their overpriced pieces of shit that I hate with the passion of the north korean military.
Can I still call myself a Gold Star Gay, even if I'm bi, and just a virgin?
December 3, 2025 at 12:47 AM
Can I still call myself a Gold Star Gay, even if I'm bi, and just a virgin?
Reposted by Riley May
I know most of the focus is on RFK Jr.'s weird horny texts, but the news that he used to spam Bill Nye with anti-vax weirdness and Bill was like, "Dude, you're you're confusing correlation for causation" is the only RFK text-message news I will ever need.
November 27, 2025 at 1:15 AM
I know most of the focus is on RFK Jr.'s weird horny texts, but the news that he used to spam Bill Nye with anti-vax weirdness and Bill was like, "Dude, you're you're confusing correlation for causation" is the only RFK text-message news I will ever need.
Reposted by Riley May
"I don't think anyone should have to work thanksgiving. This is a time for family." Your words are as empty as your heart Kathy. If you believed that you wouldn't have come to Kroger.
Get your lean cuisine and shut up you lonely bitch.
Get your lean cuisine and shut up you lonely bitch.
November 28, 2024 at 9:44 PM
"I don't think anyone should have to work thanksgiving. This is a time for family." Your words are as empty as your heart Kathy. If you believed that you wouldn't have come to Kroger.
Get your lean cuisine and shut up you lonely bitch.
Get your lean cuisine and shut up you lonely bitch.
Delirious from far too much work this week.
My house is cold, so to convince myself to stand on my aching feet I become my own hype man.
I enthusiastically say "It's jacket time! Yeah man, we're gonna jacket all over the" and then I realised what I said, and had to apologize in case someone heard
My house is cold, so to convince myself to stand on my aching feet I become my own hype man.
I enthusiastically say "It's jacket time! Yeah man, we're gonna jacket all over the" and then I realised what I said, and had to apologize in case someone heard
November 26, 2025 at 9:49 AM
Delirious from far too much work this week.
My house is cold, so to convince myself to stand on my aching feet I become my own hype man.
I enthusiastically say "It's jacket time! Yeah man, we're gonna jacket all over the" and then I realised what I said, and had to apologize in case someone heard
My house is cold, so to convince myself to stand on my aching feet I become my own hype man.
I enthusiastically say "It's jacket time! Yeah man, we're gonna jacket all over the" and then I realised what I said, and had to apologize in case someone heard
Is pathetic and desperate back in vogue, or are we still on strong capable mascs?
I can't keep up with these trends.
I can't keep up with these trends.
November 23, 2025 at 1:12 PM
Is pathetic and desperate back in vogue, or are we still on strong capable mascs?
I can't keep up with these trends.
I can't keep up with these trends.