:-*
@ohhthatmatt.bsky.social
Was once told that I have the devil inside me
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:bzqvdfxejkdhxpcspikirkvu/feed/aaabv76ta27gm
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:bzqvdfxejkdhxpcspikirkvu/feed/aaabv76ta27gm
Forget flowers I've been saving up for some Valentine's jerky
February 6, 2026 at 8:55 AM
Forget flowers I've been saving up for some Valentine's jerky
Just got a bloody nose, so yeah, 6 more weeks of nerd winter
February 6, 2026 at 7:14 AM
Just got a bloody nose, so yeah, 6 more weeks of nerd winter
What I lack in originality I make up for with stupidity
February 5, 2026 at 9:09 AM
What I lack in originality I make up for with stupidity
Great, now the doctor is giving me the silent treatment cause I said hydrating is for losers
February 5, 2026 at 8:00 AM
Great, now the doctor is giving me the silent treatment cause I said hydrating is for losers
I don't even know anymore
February 5, 2026 at 5:18 AM
I don't even know anymore
This is the year that I give up and start doing laps with the old folks at the mall
February 4, 2026 at 7:52 AM
This is the year that I give up and start doing laps with the old folks at the mall
Hello rapture, I have the feeling that we're going to be good friends.
February 4, 2026 at 7:32 AM
Hello rapture, I have the feeling that we're going to be good friends.
Reposted by :-*
Let's step out of the house and not spending anything.
February 4, 2026 at 6:01 AM
Let's step out of the house and not spending anything.
Ah, light beer and thin mints. Just livin the life
February 3, 2026 at 7:54 AM
Ah, light beer and thin mints. Just livin the life
If y'all see Phil tomorrow tell him I said fuck you
February 2, 2026 at 7:00 AM
If y'all see Phil tomorrow tell him I said fuck you
Remember this when I'm complaining about having a heat stroke in 6 weeks
February 1, 2026 at 8:40 AM
Remember this when I'm complaining about having a heat stroke in 6 weeks
I found out something during my latest research. You all suck
January 31, 2026 at 8:31 AM
I found out something during my latest research. You all suck
Can we call them poop posts? It's more family friendly
January 31, 2026 at 8:09 AM
Can we call them poop posts? It's more family friendly
Yeah I'll watch some twerk videos, but I'm just worrying about their sciatic
January 31, 2026 at 7:12 AM
Yeah I'll watch some twerk videos, but I'm just worrying about their sciatic
Everybody's like,"Save the internet with your comedy, Matt!", and I'm like, "I can't spend all day on the toilet y'all .... or could I?"
January 30, 2026 at 9:24 AM
Everybody's like,"Save the internet with your comedy, Matt!", and I'm like, "I can't spend all day on the toilet y'all .... or could I?"
Lots of people think I'm likable, but you wouldn't know them cause they go to different schools
January 30, 2026 at 6:52 AM
Lots of people think I'm likable, but you wouldn't know them cause they go to different schools
Light mode ❌
Dark mode ❌
Zombie mode ✅
Dark mode ❌
Zombie mode ✅
January 29, 2026 at 7:52 AM
Light mode ❌
Dark mode ❌
Zombie mode ✅
Dark mode ❌
Zombie mode ✅
It's always some suspicious MF saying you need to be more trusting
January 29, 2026 at 5:12 AM
It's always some suspicious MF saying you need to be more trusting
Watching ghost stories before bed to make my dreams interesting
January 28, 2026 at 9:29 AM
Watching ghost stories before bed to make my dreams interesting
Don't act surprised when I die from gagging while brushing
January 28, 2026 at 8:01 AM
Don't act surprised when I die from gagging while brushing
Dear Mother Nature, Why can't you love my face like I do
January 28, 2026 at 6:41 AM
Dear Mother Nature, Why can't you love my face like I do
Reposted by :-*
I can’t watch thriller movies because I get unreasonably angry at every terrible decision and all the decisions are terrible.
January 27, 2026 at 8:36 PM
I can’t watch thriller movies because I get unreasonably angry at every terrible decision and all the decisions are terrible.
A wise person once said, "Stop talking, you sound like a dumbass"
January 27, 2026 at 9:13 AM
A wise person once said, "Stop talking, you sound like a dumbass"
Got an email from Walmart about Valentine's Day gifts for 10 dollars and under like I'm cheap or something, (nervous laugh) hehe
January 27, 2026 at 7:12 AM
Got an email from Walmart about Valentine's Day gifts for 10 dollars and under like I'm cheap or something, (nervous laugh) hehe
Shadowbanned always sounds like an emo group from the early 2000's to me
January 26, 2026 at 8:21 AM
Shadowbanned always sounds like an emo group from the early 2000's to me