And as “Mrs” Askwith is coming back into the country, they go through the Nothing To Declare section with 1000 cigs. They are arrested buy Sgt. Bob Todd.

It just writes itself…

Who has a bit of a thing for “Mrs” Askwith

“I’m My Mum” staring Robin Askwith

Episode four give us the odd combo of “oooh” Gary Davies and Suzie Mathis presenting. It’s all very 80s with Yazz, All About Eve and INXS covering about 95% of all the musical styles of 1988. Tanita Tikaram adds a bit of class before Robin Beck does the theme from fizzy drinks. #TOTP

Be warned, this episode contains some of the most awful songs in the history of history of songs: Nights In White Satin and When You’re In Love With A Beautiful Woman. #TOTP

We go to the foreign land that is the ‘70s next and The Jam kick things off before our second visit by Cliff acting his nuts off doing Hot Shot. Other highlights include BA Robertson, Suzy Quatro and Kool & The Gang. Not all together, sadly. #TOTP

Last week’s number 1 obviously makes an appearance. Dru Hill do the Bee Gees before it’s time for disco urinals with George Michael. The awful Gym & Tonic is number 1. Sorry. #TOTP

What can I say about episode 2 other than it has Cliff Richard on it. In 1998. There’s also 911. Again. After that, it’s all about the money, all about the dum dum dum dummy dum dum. Daysleeeper, one of my favourite REM songs is on. #TOTP

Monica out of off of Brandy & Monica does a forgettable number before Natalie Imbruglia has her fourth, yes fourth single. Norman Cook turns up for the first time as Fat Boy Slim and Billie is number 1. #TOTP

The 98 episodes are not bad by the standard of the time, but that is a pretty low threshold.
As is tradition now, last week’s number 1 kicks things off. Then we have 911. No come back it gets better! Garbage raise the standard infinitely but then come The Cardigans. Two good songs in a row? #TOTP

It’s wonderful. Never fails to have me howl with laughter

That may well be what they end up doing

You should only really trust in Triangle Man