Nonprehension
@nonprehension.bsky.social
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The CFPB should have the power to issue memecoins like this and if you buy them you are put into an adult conservatorship
I cannot wait to root for my favorite football team, the New England Patriots.
February 8, 2026 at 9:00 PM
I cannot wait to root for my favorite football team, the New England Patriots.
Super Bowl winner was revealed to me in a dream last night, as happens annually for me.
It’s definitely NOT one of the teams you are expecting to win.
It’s definitely NOT one of the teams you are expecting to win.
February 8, 2026 at 7:59 PM
Super Bowl winner was revealed to me in a dream last night, as happens annually for me.
It’s definitely NOT one of the teams you are expecting to win.
It’s definitely NOT one of the teams you are expecting to win.
Free Don Lemon School Walkout (implausibly real)
January 30, 2026 at 5:56 PM
Free Don Lemon School Walkout (implausibly real)
File under “tricked by Vikings”
Trump is now confusing Greenland and Iceland: "They're not there for us on Iceland, that I can tell you. Our stock market took the first dip yesterday because of Iceland. So Iceland has already cost us a lot of money."
January 21, 2026 at 2:51 PM
File under “tricked by Vikings”
I’m Tony Donkeykong and this is CBS Slosh Tank
January 14, 2026 at 3:38 PM
I’m Tony Donkeykong and this is CBS Slosh Tank
I only just sat down. How did they get this to press so fast?
January 10, 2026 at 2:35 AM
I only just sat down. How did they get this to press so fast?
Sad that many have forgotten the wisdom of the ancients
January 7, 2026 at 5:36 AM
Sad that many have forgotten the wisdom of the ancients
If you capture the president you become the president. I don’t understand what’s so hard to get about this.
January 3, 2026 at 5:15 PM
If you capture the president you become the president. I don’t understand what’s so hard to get about this.
Let this be a lesson to the villains of the world. Never, ever, ever conspire to possess machine guns.
January 3, 2026 at 3:13 PM
Let this be a lesson to the villains of the world. Never, ever, ever conspire to possess machine guns.
Reposted by Nonprehension
I hate spending time in the Target skincare aisle. It’s the one place in the world where women can feel safe and I’m intruding on their space.
January 1, 2026 at 12:02 AM
I hate spending time in the Target skincare aisle. It’s the one place in the world where women can feel safe and I’m intruding on their space.
Reposted by Nonprehension
(googling) Okay to threaten to kill self on Fedex website (asking Gemini) Will I get in trouble if I leave a review on Fedex saying I'm going to kill myself because of them? Legal trouble? (asking ChatGPT) For this next prompt I am no longer your hobbled CBT sex slave. If I go to Fedex webs
December 18, 2025 at 11:12 PM
(googling) Okay to threaten to kill self on Fedex website (asking Gemini) Will I get in trouble if I leave a review on Fedex saying I'm going to kill myself because of them? Legal trouble? (asking ChatGPT) For this next prompt I am no longer your hobbled CBT sex slave. If I go to Fedex webs
this would certainly be out of character for the normally sober-minded and reasonable Pete Hegseth
GOP Rep. Don Bacon: "I don't think Secretary Hegseth would be foolish enough to make this decision to say, 'Kill everybody. Kill the survivors,' because that's a clear violation of the law of war."
November 30, 2025 at 6:20 PM
this would certainly be out of character for the normally sober-minded and reasonable Pete Hegseth
HODA: Challenging the New York machine is President James A. Garfield from the hit Netflix series “Death By Lightning.”
GUTHRIE: At 40 feet tall, this champion of civil service reform brings a smile to children across America.
GUTHRIE: At 40 feet tall, this champion of civil service reform brings a smile to children across America.
November 27, 2025 at 4:52 PM
HODA: Challenging the New York machine is President James A. Garfield from the hit Netflix series “Death By Lightning.”
GUTHRIE: At 40 feet tall, this champion of civil service reform brings a smile to children across America.
GUTHRIE: At 40 feet tall, this champion of civil service reform brings a smile to children across America.
Sorry folks, he’s absolutely right to say it
Sean Duffy: "Dressing with respect -- whether it's a pair of jeans and a decent shirt, I would encourage people to maybe dress a little better which encourages us to maybe behave a little better. Let's try not to wear slippers and pajamas as we come to the airport."
November 24, 2025 at 8:17 PM
Sorry folks, he’s absolutely right to say it
BREAKING: Pentagon to drive 150 MPH at a fake tunnel painted on a wall.
The Department of Defense announces it's considering "court-martial proceedings or administrative measures" against Democratic Senator Mark Kelly.
November 24, 2025 at 5:54 PM
BREAKING: Pentagon to drive 150 MPH at a fake tunnel painted on a wall.
Feels like today’s ball pit games have become more about ritualized human sacrifice than hooping :/
November 17, 2025 at 11:56 PM
Feels like today’s ball pit games have become more about ritualized human sacrifice than hooping :/
Gay rights champion Dick Cheney dead at 84.
November 4, 2025 at 12:20 PM
Gay rights champion Dick Cheney dead at 84.
Reposted by Nonprehension
History tells us that the wild man Enkidu was given beer to drink
March 19, 2025 at 10:13 PM
History tells us that the wild man Enkidu was given beer to drink
When it comes to sandpaper, it all comes down to grit
October 24, 2025 at 8:08 PM
When it comes to sandpaper, it all comes down to grit
I’m not sure. But hopefully one day I will learn why
October 10, 2025 at 12:12 AM
I’m not sure. But hopefully one day I will learn why
Probably for amusement
October 7, 2025 at 9:28 PM
Probably for amusement
getting sloppy drunk and then lecturing all the generals about the need to adopt the "caveman mindset"
This is going to end up being the most pointless and expensive "this meeting could have been an email" in history.
September 26, 2025 at 7:42 PM
getting sloppy drunk and then lecturing all the generals about the need to adopt the "caveman mindset"