Note: only mention green ether once.

What's notable here is the issues I have with this page mostly stem from the "fixes" I put in the clarify the original. And not because any beta flagged it. Because I wanted to scribble in the margins.

There may be a lesson: don't.

Mine :P

I haven't gotten more than halfway into the first Ruocchio, but the things he does that I like I do, in a more claustrophobic galaxy, with a female heroine--namely, first person narration of how things fall apart, space opera, etc

Others: Garth Powell, Walter Jon Williams, Joan D Vinge.

And if I really want to rake myself over the coals for not mastering things, all I need to do is play the violin.

I feel like this is a very lame excuse, but it's still true. I kick myself a lot for not making my younger self grit my teeth and actually master some technical stuff--although at this point, I'm also glad she had her careless arrogance to carry her through all that failure too.

Totally not needed at this point in the story. Maybe never needed.

It's really easy to get into the weeds about who knows what and who can see what--

Important sometimes to clean it up.

I *think* "had been" and "were" are correct in that opener, but honestly, I've changed it several times. "Had been assigned" --an action that happened once specifically

"Were bunked" continuous in the past and continuing.

I think I could also use "were assigned" in the first, and maybe should.

Yep. I know some people are very organized with their editing passes, I'm starting to understand why

Can't really talk about him talking about his mother when I cut the line where he does... Damnit.

The weeds are taking over, even with a paragraph break at the highlight.

Writing scifi with the human element is my goal, so that's good to hear ) I want epic space opera that's really personal.

Then the next thing that is still giving me conniptions is making that paved-over hole look smooth and polished and like it was never there at all.

I mean, it's easy to do on account of my fair sex.

(ignore me weeping in the corner.)

Someone like his estranged, amnesiac wife... He'd miss a lot when he encountered others before her. Forest for the trees.

And that is a paved-over plot hole.

But the thing is, Nate sees ALL the memories. And not just from one person, from anyone in his vicinity. It's active--he has to go looking, but he has to know what he's looking for, too.

Given time, he could probably absorb every scrap, but in a rush... Say if he's hyper focused on finding someone-