Jesus. I’m 41 and they all seem VERY WEIRD to me

Just so other folks don’t have to look it up and can vomit right now

Victor Wembanyama is actually three 7-year-olds in a trench coat

Change my mind

Now I’m thinking about going on Wednesday to ensure the loss

One time my grandmother, the Turkey Master, was visiting my aunt in New Mexico

So my dad made a meat loaf, and it caught fire while he ran to the grocery store

He came home to my mom, brother and me outside, coughing and wheezing

He responded by angrily asking what we were doing sitting outside

“YOU CAN’T ARREST ME I WAS JUST CRANKING ONE FOR THE GIPPER”

Due to some Poor Decisions (not nearly as poor decision-y as THESE people!) on my part, I have to get a new ATM card and got the alert that my Handbasket payment didn’t go through

I felt guilty for the two minutes it took me to update payment information (prolly felt more guilty than THESE people)

What a long-winded way to say “horny people say they dream about me”

We takes it where we can gets it

—Signed, small-town California mountain newspaper editor, where everyone is mad almost all the time but thank god my weekly entertainment supplement makes people happy or I might die of exhaustion without the heartfelt thanks from our vibrant arts community

I’m dying at the “follow back” in the corner

Here in Grass Valley

More impressive than watching Kings basketball…