Natalie Reilly-Johnson
@natalierj.bsky.social
Consultant Clinical Psychologist and Writer
Pinned
a girl in a red sweater is celebrating with her arms in the air and the words `` time to party '' .
ALT: a girl in a red sweater is celebrating with her arms in the air and the words `` time to party '' .
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My workmates insisted I attend the office Xmas #party even after I warned them about my #vespertine self.
By day I’m HR-approved.
But after 6, with free booze, my true form emerges.
Brutally honest.
By 9pm I’ve insulted everyone.
Good job I’m also a werewolf... #vss365 #vsschristmas
By day I’m HR-approved.
But after 6, with free booze, my true form emerges.
Brutally honest.
By 9pm I’ve insulted everyone.
Good job I’m also a werewolf... #vss365 #vsschristmas
My workmates insisted I attend the office Xmas #party even after I warned them about my #vespertine self.
By day I’m HR-approved.
But after 6, with free booze, my true form emerges.
Brutally honest.
By 9pm I’ve insulted everyone.
Good job I’m also a werewolf... #vss365 #vsschristmas
By day I’m HR-approved.
But after 6, with free booze, my true form emerges.
Brutally honest.
By 9pm I’ve insulted everyone.
Good job I’m also a werewolf... #vss365 #vsschristmas
a girl in a red sweater is celebrating with her arms in the air and the words `` time to party '' .
ALT: a girl in a red sweater is celebrating with her arms in the air and the words `` time to party '' .
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December 4, 2025 at 12:16 PM
My workmates insisted I attend the office Xmas #party even after I warned them about my #vespertine self.
By day I’m HR-approved.
But after 6, with free booze, my true form emerges.
Brutally honest.
By 9pm I’ve insulted everyone.
Good job I’m also a werewolf... #vss365 #vsschristmas
By day I’m HR-approved.
But after 6, with free booze, my true form emerges.
Brutally honest.
By 9pm I’ve insulted everyone.
Good job I’m also a werewolf... #vss365 #vsschristmas
Mel’s new boyfriend was perfect in so many ways. Kind & #chivalrous, he brought round a #christmastree, put it up & decorated it, complete with an abundance of thoughtful gifts arranged beneath it.
Mel sighed. “This is lovely, Dave. But… it’s June.” #vss365 #vsschristmas
Mel sighed. “This is lovely, Dave. But… it’s June.” #vss365 #vsschristmas
a framed picture of a christmas tree with the letters k54 on the bottom
ALT: a framed picture of a christmas tree with the letters k54 on the bottom
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December 3, 2025 at 9:03 AM
Mel’s new boyfriend was perfect in so many ways. Kind & #chivalrous, he brought round a #christmastree, put it up & decorated it, complete with an abundance of thoughtful gifts arranged beneath it.
Mel sighed. “This is lovely, Dave. But… it’s June.” #vss365 #vsschristmas
Mel sighed. “This is lovely, Dave. But… it’s June.” #vss365 #vsschristmas
“Carol singers!” The little old lady claps with delight.
“Come in for some #aphotic #gingerbread, my pretties!” she says.
“What’s that?”
The lights go out as we step inside.
“It tastes better in the dark,” she whispers, & a tongue slithers down my face.
#vss365 #vsschristmas
“Come in for some #aphotic #gingerbread, my pretties!” she says.
“What’s that?”
The lights go out as we step inside.
“It tastes better in the dark,” she whispers, & a tongue slithers down my face.
#vss365 #vsschristmas
a gingerbread house decorated with candy canes and a heart on the door
ALT: a gingerbread house decorated with candy canes and a heart on the door
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December 2, 2025 at 9:12 PM
“Carol singers!” The little old lady claps with delight.
“Come in for some #aphotic #gingerbread, my pretties!” she says.
“What’s that?”
The lights go out as we step inside.
“It tastes better in the dark,” she whispers, & a tongue slithers down my face.
#vss365 #vsschristmas
“Come in for some #aphotic #gingerbread, my pretties!” she says.
“What’s that?”
The lights go out as we step inside.
“It tastes better in the dark,” she whispers, & a tongue slithers down my face.
#vss365 #vsschristmas
The children were #excited to see Elf On The Shelf again.
Their Mum, not so much. The Elf’s arrival last year had heralded the end of her relationship. By Xmas Eve, her partner had gone.
She eyed the Elf warily.
“He was too #suave anyway,” it said, smoothing its felt hair. #vss365 #vsschristmas
Their Mum, not so much. The Elf’s arrival last year had heralded the end of her relationship. By Xmas Eve, her partner had gone.
She eyed the Elf warily.
“He was too #suave anyway,” it said, smoothing its felt hair. #vss365 #vsschristmas
an elf on the shelf with a dr.squatch logo in the background
ALT: an elf on the shelf with a dr.squatch logo in the background
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December 1, 2025 at 1:02 PM
The children were #excited to see Elf On The Shelf again.
Their Mum, not so much. The Elf’s arrival last year had heralded the end of her relationship. By Xmas Eve, her partner had gone.
She eyed the Elf warily.
“He was too #suave anyway,” it said, smoothing its felt hair. #vss365 #vsschristmas
Their Mum, not so much. The Elf’s arrival last year had heralded the end of her relationship. By Xmas Eve, her partner had gone.
She eyed the Elf warily.
“He was too #suave anyway,” it said, smoothing its felt hair. #vss365 #vsschristmas
It’s the #last day of November & I’m playing ‘Last Christmas’ & cursing myself for not untangling the lights last year before boxing them up.
But wait. I *did.* I remember doing it!
The angel snickers.
“Right. You can stay in the box,” I say.
I wake up on top of the tree. Ouch. #vss365
But wait. I *did.* I remember doing it!
The angel snickers.
“Right. You can stay in the box,” I say.
I wake up on top of the tree. Ouch. #vss365
a man is laying on a couch with christmas lights around his neck
ALT: a man is laying on a couch with christmas lights around his neck
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November 30, 2025 at 2:37 PM
I try to focus on the things that really #matter: family, friends, health. But still I refresh my inbox every 5 minutes.
When the ‘no’ finally comes, I cry.
But the spider outside is already busily spinning a new web.
I wipe my eyes and pick up my pen again. #vss365
When the ‘no’ finally comes, I cry.
But the spider outside is already busily spinning a new web.
I wipe my eyes and pick up my pen again. #vss365
November 29, 2025 at 8:32 PM
My friends passed me another shot.
“I can’t. Too much alcohol’s bad for my mental elf.”
“You mean mental #health,” they laughed.
I shook my head, pretended to drink, & tipped it into my bag for the little guy.
He caused mayhem that night.
“I did warn you,” I said as the police carted us off. #vss365
“I can’t. Too much alcohol’s bad for my mental elf.”
“You mean mental #health,” they laughed.
I shook my head, pretended to drink, & tipped it into my bag for the little guy.
He caused mayhem that night.
“I did warn you,” I said as the police carted us off. #vss365
a man in a green elf costume is standing in a hallway .
ALT: a man in a green elf costume is standing in a hallway .
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November 28, 2025 at 3:23 PM
“Annie, tell your mum what you did to Billy,” said the teacher.
“He was mean to me!” said Annie, “so I beat him up til he could hardly walk,” she said.
“Sorry, it won’t happen again,” said her mum. “She’s still #learning.” She smiled. “Next time that kid won’t walk away.” #vss365
“He was mean to me!” said Annie, “so I beat him up til he could hardly walk,” she said.
“Sorry, it won’t happen again,” said her mum. “She’s still #learning.” She smiled. “Next time that kid won’t walk away.” #vss365
a close up of a woman 's face with red nail polish on her nails
ALT: a close up of a woman 's face with red nail polish on her nails
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November 27, 2025 at 8:53 PM
Before mum died she gave me her mirror.
“It’s magic,” she said. “When you look into it, you’ll see my #reflection.”
It’s comforting, seeing her still. But it does mean I look just like her.
Maybe this would’ve happened anyway.
Although now my son looks just like her too… #vss365
“It’s magic,” she said. “When you look into it, you’ll see my #reflection.”
It’s comforting, seeing her still. But it does mean I look just like her.
Maybe this would’ve happened anyway.
Although now my son looks just like her too… #vss365
a picture of a mirror in a dark forest with pixiz written on the bottom
ALT: a picture of a mirror in a dark forest with pixiz written on the bottom
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November 26, 2025 at 10:28 AM
Before mum died she gave me her mirror.
“It’s magic,” she said. “When you look into it, you’ll see my #reflection.”
It’s comforting, seeing her still. But it does mean I look just like her.
Maybe this would’ve happened anyway.
Although now my son looks just like her too… #vss365
“It’s magic,” she said. “When you look into it, you’ll see my #reflection.”
It’s comforting, seeing her still. But it does mean I look just like her.
Maybe this would’ve happened anyway.
Although now my son looks just like her too… #vss365
He #timed himself running the same route each day. I warned him he’d only be tracking his own demise.
Sure enough, with age, the minutes stretched. Until one day, he didn’t return at all.
He *claimed* he was just sick of my nagging. But he sounded out of breath to me… #vss365
Sure enough, with age, the minutes stretched. Until one day, he didn’t return at all.
He *claimed* he was just sick of my nagging. But he sounded out of breath to me… #vss365
a blue clock with a person standing in the middle
ALT: a blue clock with a person standing in the middle
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November 25, 2025 at 4:46 PM
She kept dropping strange comments into the conversation.
“The kettle’s broken.”
“I saw a blue car today.”
“The apples were bruised.”
He tutted. “Such nonsense.”
But it was #relevant.
It was the code we’d agreed on.
She needed help.
“I’ll fetch the knife,” I whispered. #vss365
“The kettle’s broken.”
“I saw a blue car today.”
“The apples were bruised.”
He tutted. “Such nonsense.”
But it was #relevant.
It was the code we’d agreed on.
She needed help.
“I’ll fetch the knife,” I whispered. #vss365
a woman with a ring on her finger is peeling a red apple
ALT: a woman with a ring on her finger is peeling a red apple
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November 24, 2025 at 11:41 AM
As we waded through the fog, I said, “What a good metaphor for life. Not focusing on distant goals, but taking small, #achievable steps.”
I turned to him, but he’d gone.
“You’re welcome,” whispered the fog. And a world of new options opened up before me, as yet unseen. #vss365
I turned to him, but he’d gone.
“You’re welcome,” whispered the fog. And a world of new options opened up before me, as yet unseen. #vss365
a black and white photo of a cloudy sky with a plane flying through it .
ALT: a black and white photo of a cloudy sky with a plane flying through it .
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November 23, 2025 at 10:30 AM
As we waded through the fog, I said, “What a good metaphor for life. Not focusing on distant goals, but taking small, #achievable steps.”
I turned to him, but he’d gone.
“You’re welcome,” whispered the fog. And a world of new options opened up before me, as yet unseen. #vss365
I turned to him, but he’d gone.
“You’re welcome,” whispered the fog. And a world of new options opened up before me, as yet unseen. #vss365
“Of course, there comes a point where my work is done, & progress is no longer even #measurable,” she says in my 12th session.
“How do you know when that’s happened?” I ask.
But she can’t hear me. Can’t even see me anymore.
The next client sits down, squashing me flat. #vss365
“How do you know when that’s happened?” I ask.
But she can’t hear me. Can’t even see me anymore.
The next client sits down, squashing me flat. #vss365
“Before we start,” says the therapist, “stand against the wall.”
She marks my height with a line.
“We have to #measure outcomes,” she explains.
Afterwards, I feel lighter. And my skirt is longer.
She draws another line, shorter by an inch.
“Excellent progress,” she smiles. #vss365
She marks my height with a line.
“We have to #measure outcomes,” she explains.
Afterwards, I feel lighter. And my skirt is longer.
She draws another line, shorter by an inch.
“Excellent progress,” she smiles. #vss365
a girl in a pink dress is standing next to a table
ALT: a girl in a pink dress is standing next to a table
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November 22, 2025 at 10:59 AM
“Of course, there comes a point where my work is done, & progress is no longer even #measurable,” she says in my 12th session.
“How do you know when that’s happened?” I ask.
But she can’t hear me. Can’t even see me anymore.
The next client sits down, squashing me flat. #vss365
“How do you know when that’s happened?” I ask.
But she can’t hear me. Can’t even see me anymore.
The next client sits down, squashing me flat. #vss365
“I’m here with a Pacific porpoise,” said the man.
The volunteers at the animal rescue centre gasped.
“I think you mean #specific purpose,” said Liz, ex-English teacher.
Ex-Sup’t Carol frowned. “What else is he hiding in that tank?”
Dan, ex-Conservationist, sighed. “That’s clearly a dolphin.” #vss365
The volunteers at the animal rescue centre gasped.
“I think you mean #specific purpose,” said Liz, ex-English teacher.
Ex-Sup’t Carol frowned. “What else is he hiding in that tank?”
Dan, ex-Conservationist, sighed. “That’s clearly a dolphin.” #vss365
a dolphin is swimming in the ocean with its mouth open and a bubble coming out of its nose .
ALT: a dolphin is swimming in the ocean with its mouth open and a bubble coming out of its nose .
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November 21, 2025 at 11:18 PM
She couldn’t start anything without hearing it.
Lights.
Camera.
But real life has no director, so she just drifted for years.
Until he came along & whispered: “ #Action.”
She burst into life. Bright, loud, vivacious…
…And kind of annoying.
“Cut,” he said, eventually. #vss365
Lights.
Camera.
But real life has no director, so she just drifted for years.
Until he came along & whispered: “ #Action.”
She burst into life. Bright, loud, vivacious…
…And kind of annoying.
“Cut,” he said, eventually. #vss365
a person is holding a clapper board that says cats on it
ALT: a person is holding a clapper board that says cats on it
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November 20, 2025 at 5:30 PM
The farmer opened the forbidden forest that Christmas.
Crowds marched in, sizing up the Christmas tree #options.
“See any you like?” said the farmer.
The trees pointed to a tall man. “That one!”
“Ok,” said the farmer, & hoisted him over his shoulder. “They wanted a real one this year.” #vss365
Crowds marched in, sizing up the Christmas tree #options.
“See any you like?” said the farmer.
The trees pointed to a tall man. “That one!”
“Ok,” said the farmer, & hoisted him over his shoulder. “They wanted a real one this year.” #vss365
a foggy forest with trees that are pink
ALT: a foggy forest with trees that are pink
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November 19, 2025 at 11:55 AM
His mum’s muffled voice is calling him for dinner.
He lifts the headset. No poster on the wall. Oh! He must be in a virtual #reality game within a virtual reality game!
After shooting an incoming enemy, he reaches for the real headset. There isn’t one.
Is that his poster… on the floor? #vss365
He lifts the headset. No poster on the wall. Oh! He must be in a virtual #reality game within a virtual reality game!
After shooting an incoming enemy, he reaches for the real headset. There isn’t one.
Is that his poster… on the floor? #vss365
a black and white photo of the words game over on a television screen .
ALT: a black and white photo of the words game over on a television screen .
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November 18, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Reposted by Natalie Reilly-Johnson
“And #goal!” She raised her arms and jumped into the air. “Did you see that?” She pointed at the open manhole.
“I did,” her friend replied, “Now do you think you could quit horsing around and help me get rid of rest of him?” She gestured at the remaining pieces of her dismembered husband. #vss365
“I did,” her friend replied, “Now do you think you could quit horsing around and help me get rid of rest of him?” She gestured at the remaining pieces of her dismembered husband. #vss365
November 17, 2025 at 2:56 PM
“The trouble with relentless pursuit of goals,” said the therapist, “is you’re never happy. They keep moving.”
“So I should be goal-less?” I say.
“Not exactly. Just sit with how it feels to be exactly where you are now.”
Despair & rage rise in my chest.
I run towards the nearest #goal. #vss365
“So I should be goal-less?” I say.
“Not exactly. Just sit with how it feels to be exactly where you are now.”
Despair & rage rise in my chest.
I run towards the nearest #goal. #vss365
a pink background with the word goals written in blue
ALT: a pink background with the word goals written in blue
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November 17, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Reposted by Natalie Reilly-Johnson
Reposted by Natalie Reilly-Johnson
"Ms. Lee, can I switch seats?" Johnny asked as the other kids rushed out the door for recess, "I'm tired of Billy teasing me."
"I don't have an #issue with that," Ms. Lee replied, "But I do have a question."
"What?"
"Who is Billy?" There was no one with that name on her attendance sheet. #vss365
"I don't have an #issue with that," Ms. Lee replied, "But I do have a question."
"What?"
"Who is Billy?" There was no one with that name on her attendance sheet. #vss365
November 16, 2025 at 4:17 PM
The councillor beamed. Someone answering a door-to-door? Unheard of!
“Any neighbourhood #issues?” he said.
Carol led him to the study.
Diagrams. Maps on strings. Files labelled: “Ongoing Investigations.”
He bolted.
Ian called after him. “Wait! That was just Volume 1!” #vss365
“Any neighbourhood #issues?” he said.
Carol led him to the study.
Diagrams. Maps on strings. Files labelled: “Ongoing Investigations.”
He bolted.
Ian called after him. “Wait! That was just Volume 1!” #vss365
a person is pressing a doorbell on a door
ALT: a person is pressing a doorbell on a door
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November 16, 2025 at 5:10 PM
Reposted by Natalie Reilly-Johnson
The #transport begins with a conscious needle gently lowered into your groove
round and round you go, crisp and clear until you crackle with wear
each orbit shorter
as you spin toward your centre
gathering dust and fluff until enough is enough
the needle lifts
silence
you are over.
#vss365
round and round you go, crisp and clear until you crackle with wear
each orbit shorter
as you spin toward your centre
gathering dust and fluff until enough is enough
the needle lifts
silence
you are over.
#vss365
November 15, 2025 at 9:45 PM
The #transport begins with a conscious needle gently lowered into your groove
round and round you go, crisp and clear until you crackle with wear
each orbit shorter
as you spin toward your centre
gathering dust and fluff until enough is enough
the needle lifts
silence
you are over.
#vss365
round and round you go, crisp and clear until you crackle with wear
each orbit shorter
as you spin toward your centre
gathering dust and fluff until enough is enough
the needle lifts
silence
you are over.
#vss365
Reposted by Natalie Reilly-Johnson
“Where are you going?” the man shouted from the back of the ambulance, “You just passed the hospital!”
The ambulance driver turned so the man could see his skeletal face. “I’ve got orders to #transport you someplace else,” he replied. #vss365
The ambulance driver turned so the man could see his skeletal face. “I’ve got orders to #transport you someplace else,” he replied. #vss365
November 15, 2025 at 4:57 PM
“Where are you going?” the man shouted from the back of the ambulance, “You just passed the hospital!”
The ambulance driver turned so the man could see his skeletal face. “I’ve got orders to #transport you someplace else,” he replied. #vss365
The ambulance driver turned so the man could see his skeletal face. “I’ve got orders to #transport you someplace else,” he replied. #vss365
I lift the old perfume bottle out of the box of keepsakes and inhale the scent.
Just as I expected, it #transports me back to those hazy summer days.
It’s darker here than I remember, tinged with grey. Faces warped, emotions off. The perfume must have oxidised. #vss365o
Just as I expected, it #transports me back to those hazy summer days.
It’s darker here than I remember, tinged with grey. Faces warped, emotions off. The perfume must have oxidised. #vss365o
a spray bottle with snowflakes coming out of it
ALT: a spray bottle with snowflakes coming out of it
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November 15, 2025 at 3:42 PM
I lift the old perfume bottle out of the box of keepsakes and inhale the scent.
Just as I expected, it #transports me back to those hazy summer days.
It’s darker here than I remember, tinged with grey. Faces warped, emotions off. The perfume must have oxidised. #vss365o
Just as I expected, it #transports me back to those hazy summer days.
It’s darker here than I remember, tinged with grey. Faces warped, emotions off. The perfume must have oxidised. #vss365o