I keep forgetting how much I’ve healed over the last two years.

I have actual confidence now! I can move through the world and talk to most anyone!

This community’s not gonna save me, it doesn’t even know how to hold me, and I have so much to offer that can’t be fully seen or appreciated here

Last year I was calling myself all kinds of avoidant, which I still believe I am. I just didn’t realise all the more “normal & social” people all have avoidant behaviours too that can be just as violent, and maybe even more so with less self-awareness

You’re hired! Now, make me fat pls 🙏💕

Well. Pretty much normally. But at least very consistently, and now the thought that I might actually start getting fatter … Wruff >>

That’s how I know I didn’t believe I could; cos now I do and I’m *excited*~

/j he’s really hot and I wish I could pack it on at the speed of light, excess puppy for him to dig his claws into,,

The extra a is the scream from my overstuffed gut. Quiet down, you 👊🏻💥

I don’t like that I think like this but I guess it’s good to get the negative spiral-thoughts out somewhere instead of letting them build and fester, helps to separate them and call them what they are

I think we all want that, and yet we don’t actively try to surround ourselves with it or even try to embody it ourselves.

We just *want* it. Because we’re trained dopamine whores getting further and further away from ideas of true community that don’t involve enough personal validation

The healed ones, the honest and communicative ones, the aspirational ones, the doers with the fire of love for their fellow man driving them to actual action — and maybe I’m just not hanging around in the right spaces to find that

I just wish I could do anything without it feeling like an uphill battle for once. Why does it all take so much out of me rahhh

I probably need my meds upped lmao. probably need to go back to therapy, probably need to do a lot of things. It’s just hard to see why I should do them when they’re for Me