Two magnificent new baubles on the tree this year. On balance I'd say the Green Lady bears slightly more resemblance to the real thing than Harry Styles...

Ho ho ho! Apparently my very dark, 'batshit' Christmas thriller, #DyingForChristmas is just 99p on kindle for the whole of December. Rude not to really. www.amazon.co.uk/Dying-Christ...

Doris - the day we brought her home from the charity that rescued her

Me! I have a writing shed! It doesn't tilt in real life, you'll be glad to know, that's just the photo

Everyone seems to be introducing their pets, so here is Doris. She is a bonkers rescue dog. Half jack russell, half friesian cow, wholly neurotic. Loves people, suspects all other dogs. On this morning's walk she lay down outside our front door and refused to go further. Shoe fetishist.