All Crockett has to do is drop a frog down Paxton's shirt during a debate, and he'll scream and go skippity-booing offstage. Or, she could challenge him to any test of physical ability. With Paxton's soft, flaccid, neck, a set of jumping jacks would probably snap his spine.

Even Paxton's fellow Republicans hate him. They even tried to impeach him, but that didn't work. He's like one of those weird aquatic parasites that grafts itself onto the tongue, eventually becoming part of the fish's body. Except Paxton is grafted to their butthole, not their tongue.

That a human bathtub drain like Ken Paxton could snuggle and worm his pale, flabby, clammy way into the hearts of Texas Republicans is hellish proof that the White South truly is, and always has been, the "shallow end of the gene pool."

The great British cricketer and historian CLR James said it first: "The rich are only defeated when running for their lives."

The worst scumbags, the dirtiest, scummiest frauds, are *always* the ones who wave a Bible and drape themselves in the flag. Hello, Homelander. #BennyJohnson #Cocksucker

I love the LGBTQ community, and my LGBTQ friends. I have more gay & lesbian friends than straight friends. So when I use slang like "PETER PUFFER," "RUMP RANGER" and "BUTT COWBOY" to describe BENNY JOHNSON, it's to shame him with his own hypocrisy by using his own words against him.

I'm told the The FIFA Peace award ("Folle Immodesto Faceto A bocca Piena")--nicknamed "the golden ballsack," due to its resemblance to a scrotum--is annually awarded by the Italian press for the most shameless act of self-abasement...