What do you call a damp shadow?
A silhouette-wet.
A silhouette-wet.
November 21, 2025 at 5:52 AM
What do you call a damp shadow?
A silhouette-wet.
A silhouette-wet.
I'm covered in bruised rice. I had a Pilau fight.
November 14, 2025 at 5:50 AM
I'm covered in bruised rice. I had a Pilau fight.
Of all the different types of traps in the world, my favourite are boobies.
November 4, 2025 at 5:42 AM
Of all the different types of traps in the world, my favourite are boobies.
Want a refreshing soft drink without the inconvenience of a glass? Defrost an ice lolly and hey-presto; squash on a stick!
August 23, 2025 at 6:58 AM
Want a refreshing soft drink without the inconvenience of a glass? Defrost an ice lolly and hey-presto; squash on a stick!
I'm going in for some miner surgery. I'm having a lamp fitted to my head.
August 15, 2025 at 5:07 AM
I'm going in for some miner surgery. I'm having a lamp fitted to my head.
I spend my time disguised as Italian food.
I’m an impasta.
I’m an impasta.
August 14, 2025 at 4:37 AM
I spend my time disguised as Italian food.
I’m an impasta.
I’m an impasta.
I spend my life disguised as the leader of a Christian congregation.
I’m an impastor.
I’m an impastor.
August 14, 2025 at 4:37 AM
I spend my life disguised as the leader of a Christian congregation.
I’m an impastor.
I’m an impastor.
The paper shop around the corner got all soggy in the rain last night and blew away in the wind, this morning.
August 14, 2025 at 4:36 AM
The paper shop around the corner got all soggy in the rain last night and blew away in the wind, this morning.
Omar Sharif. Murdered by Bob Marley on this day in 1973.
August 13, 2025 at 4:40 AM
Omar Sharif. Murdered by Bob Marley on this day in 1973.
Put too many colour catchers in with the washing. All my clothes are transparent.
August 13, 2025 at 4:39 AM
Put too many colour catchers in with the washing. All my clothes are transparent.
Does anyone know where I can buy one of those backwards facing baseball caps? All the ones online face forwards.
August 12, 2025 at 4:37 AM
Does anyone know where I can buy one of those backwards facing baseball caps? All the ones online face forwards.
Cats don’t brush their teeth, but they do use mouse-wash.
August 12, 2025 at 4:37 AM
Cats don’t brush their teeth, but they do use mouse-wash.
When Oman was a new country, was it called Oh Boy?
July 18, 2025 at 5:39 AM
When Oman was a new country, was it called Oh Boy?
Where’s the cheapest place to buy nuts?
The cashew and carry.
The cashew and carry.
July 18, 2025 at 5:38 AM
Where’s the cheapest place to buy nuts?
The cashew and carry.
The cashew and carry.
What's the deadliest sponge in the world?
A rattlecake.
Thank you.
A rattlecake.
Thank you.
July 9, 2025 at 4:45 AM
What's the deadliest sponge in the world?
A rattlecake.
Thank you.
A rattlecake.
Thank you.
I’ve broken loads of car windows, but still haven’t found one with a dog inside.
July 2, 2025 at 4:10 AM
I’ve broken loads of car windows, but still haven’t found one with a dog inside.
Give a man a gun, and he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank, and he's got somewhere to sit whilst he learns to fish.
June 29, 2025 at 4:30 AM
Give a man a gun, and he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank, and he's got somewhere to sit whilst he learns to fish.
Like swans, all the buses in Britain are owned by the queen. That’s why you aren’t allowed to eat a bus.
June 27, 2025 at 5:01 AM
Like swans, all the buses in Britain are owned by the queen. That’s why you aren’t allowed to eat a bus.
And in today’s Brian of Britain contest, scientist Cox and the snail from Magic Roundabout enter the octagon.
June 15, 2025 at 5:35 AM
And in today’s Brian of Britain contest, scientist Cox and the snail from Magic Roundabout enter the octagon.
Which American president is best to jump up and down on?
Donald Trumpoline.
Donald Trumpoline.
June 8, 2025 at 4:34 AM
Which American president is best to jump up and down on?
Donald Trumpoline.
Donald Trumpoline.
I don’t know whether he is or not, but I really hope Bamber is Paul’s dad.
June 7, 2025 at 4:56 AM
I don’t know whether he is or not, but I really hope Bamber is Paul’s dad.
I’m worried the voices in my head are overweight. Think I’ll get an exorcise bike.
June 4, 2025 at 4:12 AM
I’m worried the voices in my head are overweight. Think I’ll get an exorcise bike.
Just planted a load of potatoes. That’s one in the eye for Big Farmer.
June 3, 2025 at 4:54 AM
Just planted a load of potatoes. That’s one in the eye for Big Farmer.
Why has nobody made a film about a tyrannical, vampire, antelope, and called it Vlad the Impala?
June 2, 2025 at 6:40 AM
Why has nobody made a film about a tyrannical, vampire, antelope, and called it Vlad the Impala?
Post-it notes are useful to help you to remember things. I’ve stuck loads on my face so I don’t forget to shave.
May 24, 2025 at 5:14 AM
Post-it notes are useful to help you to remember things. I’ve stuck loads on my face so I don’t forget to shave.