I've watched this three times just to savor the chef's kiss worthy underplayed acting of the police-bear.

I'm calling it at 4:59 PM PST. The maybe insane and lower case ben driscoll won the internet today.

So… April 15 is just around the corner. Waddaya got on the sinking of the Titanic?

I was so distracted by my compulsive need to quip that I utterly passed over acknowledging that you managed to the impossible: come up with a new angle on the Kennedy assassination after 63 years of American historical and conspiracy obsession. Pure genius, Beal. You should pitch it to McSweeney’s.

I always admired the way Zapruder avoided the sophomore slump cliche by quitting film-making completely after his first successful movie.

And that's when a rolodex filled with the names of dirty-handed men to hire as a freelance accounts payable enforcer would have really been an advantage.

And how exactly are you going to “fight” for us, you feckless weasels?

Don’t even dare to believe for even a second that we’ll have forgotten your submissive capitulation today when the Democrats come around next year begging for donations to fund their 2026 campaigns. Weaklings.

Probably because she wasn't my supervisor.

I used to joke that it was fun watching once decent co-workers who had been promoted into management leave flakes from the dried-up husks of their souls on the carpet as they walked past.

I'm discreetly not mentioning any names, mind you, but...

I think I never encountered Tammy. Or if I did, she made no impression.

And how is Hobson doing these days?

The English language has not yet developed enough for me to adequately express how much I enjoyed reading this. I may be facing the rest of the day with a song in my heart due to your words. So… thanks.