Hikki • Adult
@melty-choco-mint.bsky.social
| cw: 100lbs • ugw: 93lbs • 4' 11 • bmi 20 |
Delusional and Mentally ill.
I'm trying to get my life together.
Rambles a lot !
Delusional and Mentally ill.
I'm trying to get my life together.
Rambles a lot !
Pinned
Okay, so I want to be thinner...
Falls to my knees, head in my hands.
Falls to my knees, head in my hands.
January 21, 2025 at 4:04 PM
Okay, so I want to be thinner...
Falls to my knees, head in my hands.
Falls to my knees, head in my hands.
My intuition has been wonky, and communication has been wonky as well.
I can't tell if I'm delusional or not when things come to me besides asking THEM for confirmation.
It's been nighty and things that I'm not used to.
I can't tell if I'm delusional or not when things come to me besides asking THEM for confirmation.
It's been nighty and things that I'm not used to.
January 21, 2025 at 3:49 PM
My intuition has been wonky, and communication has been wonky as well.
I can't tell if I'm delusional or not when things come to me besides asking THEM for confirmation.
It's been nighty and things that I'm not used to.
I can't tell if I'm delusional or not when things come to me besides asking THEM for confirmation.
It's been nighty and things that I'm not used to.
Oh god, Aphrodite, I am scared, but good, yes, I know. I have aches, but I feel a bit hopeful.
January 21, 2025 at 6:25 AM
Oh god, Aphrodite, I am scared, but good, yes, I know. I have aches, but I feel a bit hopeful.
I think I have a crush. Today, we spoke. I feel like I have conquered a mountain, but like... not fully.
I was not rejected. He said he liked how I worded it. Worry less, I will worry less and be a bit more ?
Oh, fate is...
I was not rejected. He said he liked how I worded it. Worry less, I will worry less and be a bit more ?
Oh, fate is...
January 21, 2025 at 6:24 AM
I think I have a crush. Today, we spoke. I feel like I have conquered a mountain, but like... not fully.
I was not rejected. He said he liked how I worded it. Worry less, I will worry less and be a bit more ?
Oh, fate is...
I was not rejected. He said he liked how I worded it. Worry less, I will worry less and be a bit more ?
Oh, fate is...
Okay, so. I overdosed, but I'm trying to get better. There are a lot of things I can not understand, but I will try ! 🌻
January 19, 2025 at 9:57 PM
Okay, so. I overdosed, but I'm trying to get better. There are a lot of things I can not understand, but I will try ! 🌻
I've always stuggled with emotions and feelings. How I word it is, the first real emotion I felt was love at 19.
I assumed cause trauma, being raped every day seems to do that to someone.
I had no feelings, no interests, I was quiet, and just kept to myself. I had no friends, I never needed one.
I assumed cause trauma, being raped every day seems to do that to someone.
I had no feelings, no interests, I was quiet, and just kept to myself. I had no friends, I never needed one.
December 27, 2024 at 10:00 PM
I've always stuggled with emotions and feelings. How I word it is, the first real emotion I felt was love at 19.
I assumed cause trauma, being raped every day seems to do that to someone.
I had no feelings, no interests, I was quiet, and just kept to myself. I had no friends, I never needed one.
I assumed cause trauma, being raped every day seems to do that to someone.
I had no feelings, no interests, I was quiet, and just kept to myself. I had no friends, I never needed one.
Adderall, once more. I feel much better.
December 27, 2024 at 6:07 PM
Adderall, once more. I feel much better.
Mom made sm pasta, and I want to binge on it ! I feel sick today, too...ahhh, but good day besides that, aa
December 21, 2024 at 10:26 PM
Mom made sm pasta, and I want to binge on it ! I feel sick today, too...ahhh, but good day besides that, aa
Had a weird dream about my ex fiancee. Like him, not one of his alters, Spencer before he wasn't allowed to front anymore.
He was miserable and sat hunched over. I think he was ashamed? Or defensive, uncomfortable. Some sort of party was happening.
He was miserable and sat hunched over. I think he was ashamed? Or defensive, uncomfortable. Some sort of party was happening.
December 21, 2024 at 3:17 AM
Had a weird dream about my ex fiancee. Like him, not one of his alters, Spencer before he wasn't allowed to front anymore.
He was miserable and sat hunched over. I think he was ashamed? Or defensive, uncomfortable. Some sort of party was happening.
He was miserable and sat hunched over. I think he was ashamed? Or defensive, uncomfortable. Some sort of party was happening.
BINGE DEFLECTED.
Prayed to Aphrodite, i feel guilty involving her with my Ed, but...i think she's very understanding.
I asked for help too just to eat the amount I needed and to not binge, and sorta strength to eat and not be so...scared to binge.
I ate normally, it was really nice.
Prayed to Aphrodite, i feel guilty involving her with my Ed, but...i think she's very understanding.
I asked for help too just to eat the amount I needed and to not binge, and sorta strength to eat and not be so...scared to binge.
I ate normally, it was really nice.
My parents are getting food, and it's stressing me out insanely bad. I am already at 1000 cals today.
I was just hungry and still am hungry. I just know I'm gonna binge. Like, i hate this feeling sm, and I feel like the medicine is not gonna even stop me.
I was just hungry and still am hungry. I just know I'm gonna binge. Like, i hate this feeling sm, and I feel like the medicine is not gonna even stop me.
December 20, 2024 at 3:54 AM
BINGE DEFLECTED.
Prayed to Aphrodite, i feel guilty involving her with my Ed, but...i think she's very understanding.
I asked for help too just to eat the amount I needed and to not binge, and sorta strength to eat and not be so...scared to binge.
I ate normally, it was really nice.
Prayed to Aphrodite, i feel guilty involving her with my Ed, but...i think she's very understanding.
I asked for help too just to eat the amount I needed and to not binge, and sorta strength to eat and not be so...scared to binge.
I ate normally, it was really nice.
My parents are getting food, and it's stressing me out insanely bad. I am already at 1000 cals today.
I was just hungry and still am hungry. I just know I'm gonna binge. Like, i hate this feeling sm, and I feel like the medicine is not gonna even stop me.
I was just hungry and still am hungry. I just know I'm gonna binge. Like, i hate this feeling sm, and I feel like the medicine is not gonna even stop me.
December 19, 2024 at 11:12 PM
My parents are getting food, and it's stressing me out insanely bad. I am already at 1000 cals today.
I was just hungry and still am hungry. I just know I'm gonna binge. Like, i hate this feeling sm, and I feel like the medicine is not gonna even stop me.
I was just hungry and still am hungry. I just know I'm gonna binge. Like, i hate this feeling sm, and I feel like the medicine is not gonna even stop me.
Reposted by Hikki • Adult
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠶⣄⠶⠋ ⠀⠀⠀+. *
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠶⣄⠶⠋ ⠀⠀⠀+. *
December 17, 2024 at 11:37 PM
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⠀⠀⠿⣆⠀ ⠀ -20 lbs ⣰⡆
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⢦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡴⠛
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠶⣄⠶⠋ ⠀⠀⠀+. *
⠀˚⠀ ⣴⠟⠉⠉⠛⢦⡀⢀⣴⠛⠉⠈⠙⠻⣄
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⠀⠀⠿⣆⠀ ⠀ -20 lbs ⣰⡆
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠶⣄⠶⠋ ⠀⠀⠀+. *
Ah, my best friend communicated very well with this lady he's been seeing. She had a very odd outburst, and I procceded to watch him write like 5 paragraphs back to her. Not only sorta destroying whatever odd bout she was on, but clearly trying to talk to her and communicate.
This is so sexy
This is so sexy
December 17, 2024 at 9:43 PM
Ah, my best friend communicated very well with this lady he's been seeing. She had a very odd outburst, and I procceded to watch him write like 5 paragraphs back to her. Not only sorta destroying whatever odd bout she was on, but clearly trying to talk to her and communicate.
This is so sexy
This is so sexy
I ate pasta last night. A BIG fear food, and was able to eat it without guilt. It actually wasn't the best, and me unmedicated would've had a breakdown over so many cals and it not being super yummy.
It's really nice. I ate some chocolate today. I had stored for like months.
It's really nice. I ate some chocolate today. I had stored for like months.
December 17, 2024 at 4:05 PM
I ate pasta last night. A BIG fear food, and was able to eat it without guilt. It actually wasn't the best, and me unmedicated would've had a breakdown over so many cals and it not being super yummy.
It's really nice. I ate some chocolate today. I had stored for like months.
It's really nice. I ate some chocolate today. I had stored for like months.
Adderall lowkey helping my relationship with food.
The stress and guilt when eating is mostly gone. I don't feel like I'm "slipping." I just feel like i can't enjoy food without being scared I'm gonna binge or overeat.
The stress and guilt when eating is mostly gone. I don't feel like I'm "slipping." I just feel like i can't enjoy food without being scared I'm gonna binge or overeat.
December 16, 2024 at 10:46 PM
Adderall lowkey helping my relationship with food.
The stress and guilt when eating is mostly gone. I don't feel like I'm "slipping." I just feel like i can't enjoy food without being scared I'm gonna binge or overeat.
The stress and guilt when eating is mostly gone. I don't feel like I'm "slipping." I just feel like i can't enjoy food without being scared I'm gonna binge or overeat.
This dream was the night before my friend called him my best friend and that he loved me dearly.
I was upset about men not wanting to just be innocent with me, always sex or romantic when I just want friends. And...well, the dream called me out about that.
I was upset about men not wanting to just be innocent with me, always sex or romantic when I just want friends. And...well, the dream called me out about that.
Some other dreams I've had recently.
I dreamt I was on an elevator going up to meet someone. I was lonely, and despite knowing this man only wanted me in ways I didn't want (sexually and romantically), I was still going for the sake of my loneliness and seeking connection.
I dreamt I was on an elevator going up to meet someone. I was lonely, and despite knowing this man only wanted me in ways I didn't want (sexually and romantically), I was still going for the sake of my loneliness and seeking connection.
December 16, 2024 at 5:52 PM
This dream was the night before my friend called him my best friend and that he loved me dearly.
I was upset about men not wanting to just be innocent with me, always sex or romantic when I just want friends. And...well, the dream called me out about that.
I was upset about men not wanting to just be innocent with me, always sex or romantic when I just want friends. And...well, the dream called me out about that.
Some other dreams I've had recently.
I dreamt I was on an elevator going up to meet someone. I was lonely, and despite knowing this man only wanted me in ways I didn't want (sexually and romantically), I was still going for the sake of my loneliness and seeking connection.
I dreamt I was on an elevator going up to meet someone. I was lonely, and despite knowing this man only wanted me in ways I didn't want (sexually and romantically), I was still going for the sake of my loneliness and seeking connection.
December 16, 2024 at 5:41 PM
Some other dreams I've had recently.
I dreamt I was on an elevator going up to meet someone. I was lonely, and despite knowing this man only wanted me in ways I didn't want (sexually and romantically), I was still going for the sake of my loneliness and seeking connection.
I dreamt I was on an elevator going up to meet someone. I was lonely, and despite knowing this man only wanted me in ways I didn't want (sexually and romantically), I was still going for the sake of my loneliness and seeking connection.
I've been having dreams about deities more often now. I ask normally if it's a sign or just a simple dream, but normally, they try to send me signs and messages this way, especially when I ask and let them.
I really like dream analysis and got a bit intuitive, so I can actually somewhat decipher it
I really like dream analysis and got a bit intuitive, so I can actually somewhat decipher it
December 16, 2024 at 4:01 PM
I've been having dreams about deities more often now. I ask normally if it's a sign or just a simple dream, but normally, they try to send me signs and messages this way, especially when I ask and let them.
I really like dream analysis and got a bit intuitive, so I can actually somewhat decipher it
I really like dream analysis and got a bit intuitive, so I can actually somewhat decipher it
Okay, so I am luckily able to take adderall pretty regularly now. I am on it again and just very thankful and hopeful.
If anything, it makes me a little sleepy and bouts of not actually able to be verbal. But otherwise amazing for my head and binge.
If anything, it makes me a little sleepy and bouts of not actually able to be verbal. But otherwise amazing for my head and binge.
December 14, 2024 at 8:56 PM
Okay, so I am luckily able to take adderall pretty regularly now. I am on it again and just very thankful and hopeful.
If anything, it makes me a little sleepy and bouts of not actually able to be verbal. But otherwise amazing for my head and binge.
If anything, it makes me a little sleepy and bouts of not actually able to be verbal. But otherwise amazing for my head and binge.
Tried Adderall yesterday. Only medication that has ever helped my intrusive thoughts and my BINGE EATING.
I want to get on it, hopefully.
I only ate like 600 cals yesterday on it. Today, I already had 12k before 1 pm 🫠
It genuinely gave me sm hope to maybe live a bit better.
I want to get on it, hopefully.
I only ate like 600 cals yesterday on it. Today, I already had 12k before 1 pm 🫠
It genuinely gave me sm hope to maybe live a bit better.
December 13, 2024 at 8:13 PM
Tried Adderall yesterday. Only medication that has ever helped my intrusive thoughts and my BINGE EATING.
I want to get on it, hopefully.
I only ate like 600 cals yesterday on it. Today, I already had 12k before 1 pm 🫠
It genuinely gave me sm hope to maybe live a bit better.
I want to get on it, hopefully.
I only ate like 600 cals yesterday on it. Today, I already had 12k before 1 pm 🫠
It genuinely gave me sm hope to maybe live a bit better.
Ppl who have a flat stomach at bmi 20+....how... why not me...eughhghhg
December 5, 2024 at 5:16 PM
Ppl who have a flat stomach at bmi 20+....how... why not me...eughhghhg
Aphrodite epic. As hell. Thank u insanely, beautiful women .inside and out. For letting me like even be within ur vinciuty HAHAHJAJSJKUEIKA
December 5, 2024 at 3:02 AM
Aphrodite epic. As hell. Thank u insanely, beautiful women .inside and out. For letting me like even be within ur vinciuty HAHAHJAJSJKUEIKA