"Baba (Old Lady) McRae."
Grandma To All. Polymath-Neurodivergent-AF, Demi-Ace Spec, Agender, Humanist, Anarchist, Secular Old Mountain Witch.
McRaeWrites.com as ever.
Most Prolific Poet; Living, & Ever. Or Something.
I Am Alone.
As Always.
Nobody Can;
Or Will,
Save Me.
I Need Help.
But It Isn't Coming.
I Am Alone.
As Always.
Nobody Can;
Or Will,
Save Me.
I Need Help.
But It Isn't Coming.
No Outs.
Drowning Deeper.
Deeper.
Deeper.
Sunk.
Can't Sleep.
Thinking About Money.
Can't Even Get An Interview.
Running Out Of Time.
Time.
Time.
Out.
No Outs.
Can't Sleep.
Thinking About Money.
At Wit's End.
End.
End.
Ending.
Primal Anxiety.
No Outs.
No Outs.
No Outs.
No Outs.
No Ou-
No Outs.
Drowning Deeper.
Deeper.
Deeper.
Sunk.
Can't Sleep.
Thinking About Money.
Can't Even Get An Interview.
Running Out Of Time.
Time.
Time.
Out.
No Outs.
Can't Sleep.
Thinking About Money.
At Wit's End.
End.
End.
Ending.
Primal Anxiety.
No Outs.
No Outs.
No Outs.
No Outs.
No Ou-
The Pickup Truck Diaries: I; The Most Prolific Poet, In All Of Human History.
The Pickup Truck Diaries: I; The Most Prolific Poet, In All Of Human History.
At some point we have to acknowledge America is a rogue banana republic with a huge military that needs to be balkanized ASAP due to no rule of law.
At some point we have to acknowledge America is a rogue banana republic with a huge military that needs to be balkanized ASAP due to no rule of law.
Good.
No Truck Payments Bouncing.
Or They Will,
I'll Just Be Dead.
Not Around Physically Much To Care.
Haunting Whichever Hosts & Objects,
Was Able To Pour Soul Into.
Some Wannabe Phylacteries?
Ideas.
Concepts.
Philosophies.
Curses.
Let Me Die.
I'm Tired Of This Barest Survival.
Good.
No Truck Payments Bouncing.
Or They Will,
I'll Just Be Dead.
Not Around Physically Much To Care.
Haunting Whichever Hosts & Objects,
Was Able To Pour Soul Into.
Some Wannabe Phylacteries?
Ideas.
Concepts.
Philosophies.
Curses.
Let Me Die.
I'm Tired Of This Barest Survival.
Slurring & Slandering Me.
Perhaps Become The Most Reviled Writer,
Ever!
As Surely As One,
Most Prolific.
"Crazy. Eccentric."
"Bitched, Moaned, Constant."
Can Hear My Many Enemies To Outlive Me,
Shrieking In Crow-Murder Chorus.
Me?
All Grins.
Infamous!
Me!
Slurring & Slandering Me.
Perhaps Become The Most Reviled Writer,
Ever!
As Surely As One,
Most Prolific.
"Crazy. Eccentric."
"Bitched, Moaned, Constant."
Can Hear My Many Enemies To Outlive Me,
Shrieking In Crow-Murder Chorus.
Me?
All Grins.
Infamous!
Me!
Catches Up.
Settling In Flesh.
Sagging Sluggishness In My Meat.
Please, Fate?
Defied Ye Best I Could.
My Whole Life.
Was Supposed To Die;
Disposable Labour.
Make Others Rich Inside Broken Systems.
But Looks Like I'll Die Broke,
& Homeless,
Anyways.
So Much For Fighting -
For What's Right.
Catches Up.
Settling In Flesh.
Sagging Sluggishness In My Meat.
Please, Fate?
Defied Ye Best I Could.
My Whole Life.
Was Supposed To Die;
Disposable Labour.
Make Others Rich Inside Broken Systems.
But Looks Like I'll Die Broke,
& Homeless,
Anyways.
So Much For Fighting -
For What's Right.
"Please!"
Silence,
Inner Child.
Long Dead!
Just Dust & Echoes.
Long Since Claimed By Speed Of Darkness.
Universal Expansion.
Dead Selves We Slaughtered Ourselves -
Decades Ago.
To Become Strong.
Stronger Than Anything & Anyone,
In Our Will & Way.
No Help Ever Comes.
Save The Breaths.
Achi-
"Please!"
Silence,
Inner Child.
Long Dead!
Just Dust & Echoes.
Long Since Claimed By Speed Of Darkness.
Universal Expansion.
Dead Selves We Slaughtered Ourselves -
Decades Ago.
To Become Strong.
Stronger Than Anything & Anyone,
In Our Will & Way.
No Help Ever Comes.
Save The Breaths.
Achi-
Then Endlessly On Repeat -
In Infinite Fractal Echo,
Ever Since.
I'm Oblivion.
Annihilation Itself -
Distilled Into Hybrid Mutant.
Born Deformed As Apex Predator.
Extra Flesh & Cartilage.
Eternal Rot Festering -
In Boiling Curs-ed Blood.
I Played At Fake Warlord; For Years.
Then Endlessly On Repeat -
In Infinite Fractal Echo,
Ever Since.
I'm Oblivion.
Annihilation Itself -
Distilled Into Hybrid Mutant.
Born Deformed As Apex Predator.
Extra Flesh & Cartilage.
Eternal Rot Festering -
In Boiling Curs-ed Blood.
I Played At Fake Warlord; For Years.
Even If Their Precious Wretched Capitalism,
Must Die With The Fascists To Get There!
Oligarchs.
Their Mindless Idiot Death Cult Supporters.
Right Wing Brain Rot On Full Parade.
Religion Dying In Death Spiral.
Nobody Wants Anything To Do -
With Fairytale Death Cults.
Fuck Off.
Even If Their Precious Wretched Capitalism,
Must Die With The Fascists To Get There!
Oligarchs.
Their Mindless Idiot Death Cult Supporters.
Right Wing Brain Rot On Full Parade.
Religion Dying In Death Spiral.
Nobody Wants Anything To Do -
With Fairytale Death Cults.
Fuck Off.
So Unused To It,
Assume Most Kindnesses're Manipulation.
Abuser Texting They're Going To Randomly Show Up At Your House.
No Matter How Many Capital Letters.
How Many Screamed Hoarse Words.
"No Means No."
"Leave Me Alone."
They Always Want.
Their Feelings.
Not Mine.
I Never Matter.
So Unused To It,
Assume Most Kindnesses're Manipulation.
Abuser Texting They're Going To Randomly Show Up At Your House.
No Matter How Many Capital Letters.
How Many Screamed Hoarse Words.
"No Means No."
"Leave Me Alone."
They Always Want.
Their Feelings.
Not Mine.
I Never Matter.
Me: Oh, so fork found in kitchen, got it.
Me: Oh, so fork found in kitchen, got it.
A Damn Pickup Truck Diary.
Overwrought!
Damn Fool Old Lady.
Few Even Read Your Words -
In This Lifetime.
Each Sliver & Splinter Of Soul.
Steel Shrapnel & Black Iron Sand.
Job Hunt More Hours.
Write More Words.
Go.
Faster. Faster.
Do. Die.
Real This Time.
Again.
Save Yourself.
A Damn Pickup Truck Diary.
Overwrought!
Damn Fool Old Lady.
Few Even Read Your Words -
In This Lifetime.
Each Sliver & Splinter Of Soul.
Steel Shrapnel & Black Iron Sand.
Job Hunt More Hours.
Write More Words.
Go.
Faster. Faster.
Do. Die.
Real This Time.
Again.
Save Yourself.
Hallowed Entropy."
Guess I haven't changed much, have I?
Hallowed Entropy."
Guess I haven't changed much, have I?
Please?
-Don't.
That Ain't How Life Works.
If I Ask For Help?
Sumin' Else Goes Wrong.
Things Get Even Worse.
In My Miserable Lived Experience?
Things Don't Get Better.
Asking For Help?
Only Invites Fate -
To Try & Fuck You Over Even Harder.
Just Shut The Fuck Up.
Keep Going.
No Help's Comin'.
Please?
-Don't.
That Ain't How Life Works.
If I Ask For Help?
Sumin' Else Goes Wrong.
Things Get Even Worse.
In My Miserable Lived Experience?
Things Don't Get Better.
Asking For Help?
Only Invites Fate -
To Try & Fuck You Over Even Harder.
Just Shut The Fuck Up.
Keep Going.
No Help's Comin'.
Sudden Change In Normal:
Sounds Of Waves.
Instead Of Rain; Thunder, Rivers.
My Life Is Crashing.
Burning.
Hit My Goal,
In Just 5 Years.
When I Estimated 12.
How Could I Have Known Bankruptcy,
Insolvency,
Would Follow Immediately After?
Like True Monkey's Paw?
Sudden Change In Normal:
Sounds Of Waves.
Instead Of Rain; Thunder, Rivers.
My Life Is Crashing.
Burning.
Hit My Goal,
In Just 5 Years.
When I Estimated 12.
How Could I Have Known Bankruptcy,
Insolvency,
Would Follow Immediately After?
Like True Monkey's Paw?