Matthias The Bard
LightNews LightNews
banner
matthias.the-bard.uk
Matthias The Bard
@matthias.the-bard.uk
500 followers 450 following 1.1K posts
34 UK He/Him | Grey-ace & Single | Furry-Adjacent Human | Belly Obsessed | Into Strange Kinks (Vore, Macro/Micro) | PFP by @slipperysqueaks.bsky.social | Banner by Maxbearts on FA

Trans women are WOMEN and trans men are MEN 🏳️‍⚧️ FUCK TRANSPHOBES
Posts Replies Media Videos
matthias.the-bard.uk
Come climb Mt. Belly this #TummyTuesday
A photo of my white hairy belly taken from a low angle in low blue light
November 18, 2025 at 9:19 PM
matthias.the-bard.uk
Upshot for #TummyTuesday
My white hairy belly and chest taken from a low angle
November 11, 2025 at 8:13 PM
matthias.the-bard.uk
I've given Gridmaster a good go too! Don't think I'll finish in time though😅
A screenshot from Old School RuneScape's Gridmaster game mode, showing an interface with a colourful bingo card and an array of tiles, each one denoting a task to be completed. Most tiles are marked green, except for 6 around the outer edges
November 10, 2025 at 8:11 PM
matthias.the-bard.uk
2 months of grind in RuneScape's first limited-time Leagues game mode and I finally received my Dragon Catalyst Trophy and Leagues outfit rewards! ❤️

(The cape isn't part of the outfit but is an achievement in itself, the off-hand sword just looked cool and kinda fits with the vibe! 🥰)
November 10, 2025 at 6:41 PM
matthias.the-bard.uk
Cleo's found a nice cozy spot right next to my belly 😻
A photo of my white hairy belly, with my tortoiseshell coloured short-haired cat, Cleo, curled up on my lap against the underside of my belly
November 6, 2025 at 6:45 PM
matthias.the-bard.uk
Since I haven't done one in a while, here's a #TummyTuesday for those who partake
A photo of a hairy pale white man's belly, chest and lower chin
November 4, 2025 at 9:50 PM
matthias.the-bard.uk
Victory! It took me something like a month and a half of grind, but I did it! Dragon Trophy in Runescape Leagues with time to spare!
A screenshot from RuneScape showing a message titled "Trophy milestone reached!", the message reading, "After Leagues concludes, you will be able to claim: Catalyst dragon trophy" A screenshot from RuneScape showing the number of league points at 60,160. An image showing a red "dragon" trophy is shown below a progress bar. Above the trophy it states "You have unlocked all trophies"
October 25, 2025 at 7:56 PM
matthias.the-bard.uk
I love the way two dragons like me going for a Dragon Trophy! XP
A screenshot of a Bluesky notification showing that Iskan and Zorin, both dragon characters, have liked my RuneScape post discussing how I'm aiming to obtain a Dragon Trophy in game
October 21, 2025 at 9:08 PM
matthias.the-bard.uk
How can something feel so close, yet so far... I can almost taste that sweet Dragon Trophy!
#RuneScape
A screenshot from Runescape 3 Catalyst Leagues temporary game mode, showing "League Points: 51240" with an image of a red and silver trophy. Above the trophy it states "8760 more points needed to unlock the next trophy"
October 21, 2025 at 5:15 PM
matthias.the-bard.uk
Could companies PLEASE stop leaking my personal data... FOR FIVE MINUTES!!
A screenshot from my email inbox showing two recently received emails, one from Dacia and one from Discord. Both have the subject, "Important information about/regarding your personal data"
October 4, 2025 at 3:58 AM
matthias.the-bard.uk
Hunting for the Giant Squirrel pet in Old School RuneScape. One of several ludicrously rare skilling pets, this one tied to the Agility skill.

I've been running around a sodding iceberg in a penguin suit for 7000 laps now which, at around 55 laps an hour, works out to around 130 hours of my life 💀
A screenshot of the chat window from Old School Runescape. Each line is timestamped ranging from 18:43 to 18:49. Every line shows "Your Penguin Agility lap count is", followed by a number ranging from 6994 to 7000 incrementing by one each time. One line at 18:44 in the middle reads "You slip on the ice!"
August 2, 2025 at 5:56 PM
matthias.the-bard.uk
It's my favourite day of the week! Happy #TummyTuesday! ✨
A photo of my white hairy belly and chest, as I lay back on a light grey sofa
July 15, 2025 at 7:06 AM
matthias.the-bard.uk
So yesterday my friend @keebz.bsky.social helped me be brave enough to try going bald to see how it looks. I'm kind of into it, what do you think? (Also featuring very cuddly doggo!) 🥰
A photo of me, in blue jeans and a black t-shirt, sitting in the corner of a light grey sofa with a brown and black dog cuddling up onto my lap. My head is shaved completely bald
July 14, 2025 at 7:23 AM
matthias.the-bard.uk
Oh go on then. Have a tummy for Tuesday. As a treat.
A photo of an average (at best) looking white man's hairy belly and chest
June 24, 2025 at 8:06 PM
matthias.the-bard.uk
This bot reply to a vorny comment is killing me 😭😭😭

Pretty sure @vikeburr.bsky.social had a different kind of protein snack in mind... (The wriggling squirming kind~)
A screenshot of a Bluesky thread. The original comment from @vikeburr.bsky.social posted 1 month ago reads, "Mmmmurrr agreed there's no way it's only cake heh gotta get a TON of protein isn't that right snack?~". A bot account posted a reply today which reads, "Fuel your day with the new Profusion protein snack range" followed by an embedded link, totally missing the context of the original post.
June 13, 2025 at 10:40 AM
matthias.the-bard.uk
Took this photo for someone very dear to me and thought it looked pretty good, so now you all get to see it too~!
A photo of my hairy exposed belly and chest
May 29, 2025 at 6:09 AM
matthias.the-bard.uk
Happy sunlit #WideWednesday from the Scottish Highlands
A photo of my white hairy sunlit belly, exposing my belly, chest and nipples with a pulled up dark green t-shirt
May 14, 2025 at 7:44 AM
matthias.the-bard.uk
First week back doing a gym routine again has got me like this

(🎨 by @/slipperysqueaks.bsky.social)
A Telegram sticker of a human bard with ginger hair and a short beard, wearing two brown leather wristbands, a dark green sleeveless tunic and light green trousers with tan leather boots. He is passed out on his back, reaching his right arm over his chest with clenched teeth and crosses where his eyes should be
May 2, 2025 at 7:09 AM
matthias.the-bard.uk
Can't have my morning cup of tea at work without this mug I found in the office kitchen cupboard, starting my day right! ✨
A photo of a white mug containing tea. Printed on the side of the mug is a greyscale image of two people kissing, their faces pressed together so you can't identify either person. One person has their hand held against the cheek of the other person
April 29, 2025 at 8:07 AM
matthias.the-bard.uk
Happy #TummyTuesday lovely people! I started back at the gym today but holy hell am I weak after so long. Got a long way to go
A photo of a man's pale, hairy belly and chest, his right hand resting on the side of his belly
April 29, 2025 at 6:58 AM
matthias.the-bard.uk
Coffee Calamity ☕

A joint commission featuring Zorin and Chris (@chrisamminus.bsky.social), @greenhusky.bsky.social, @kulmir.bsky.social, and myself!
🎨 by @molnyshko.bsky.social

Zorin really should've looked a little closer before downing his morning coffee...

www.furaffinity.net/view/60360653/
A comic with multiple panels. The first panel shows a large cup of coffee with four tiny individuals gathered around the rim. A green and white husky is holding onto the handle of a large teaspoon, a ginger haired human bard in a brown tunic is carrying two large cubes of sugar, a light brown haired human in a brown coat is laying on his front on the handle of the cup, and a human mage in blue robes and a dark blue wizards hat is saying, "Hurry! I think he's waking up!". In the background, an approaching entity is implied with the word "Thoom" three times. In the second panel a giant dragon with black scales and bright blue hair around his lower belly, his face, chest, pits, arms and back, wearing neon pink underwear is revealed, looming over the coffee cup and the four individuals. He is stretching an arm behind his head as he yawns, scratching his belly with his hand. In the third panel, the dragon has lifted the cup to his lips, drinking from it with a slurp while his stomach growls. The fourth panel shows the inside of the dragon's mouth, purple flesh with white fangs opened as the coffee drains towards his throat. The four individuals are being washed towards his gullet as they scream in terror, "Z-Zoriiiiin! Waaaaaait! Aggggghhh! Noooooo!". The fifth panel shows the dragon's throat, a large smooth lump is shown accompanied by a loud "GULRP". The sixth panel is animated, showing the dragon hefting his belly with his hands, his face showing a somewhat disgusted grimace as he says, "What was in that-UUURP-coffee? Uooooargh...". The final panel shows the deep purple fleshy insides of the dragons stomach, the brown coffee pooling at the bottom with the four tiny individuals clamouring for a way to escape, their faces showing horror and distress. Strings of viscous stomach fluids cling to their bodies. The loud sounds of the dragons stomach are shown in the background, "GRRRRRRRRRN, GLRRRRRRP". The mage's hat has fallen off his head and rests in the pool of coffee.
March 27, 2025 at 3:26 PM
matthias.the-bard.uk
Happy late #TummyTuesday and/or early #WideWednesday!
A photo of my torso taken from the front, showing my hairy belly, deep navel and pink nipples. My belly is pressing down making it spread out widely
March 19, 2025 at 7:22 AM
matthias.the-bard.uk
Cleo finally paid the price for being one of Dio's henchmen... Wait, she wants me to keep going?! XD

Filmed by @keebz.bsky.social 🧡
March 16, 2025 at 11:01 AM
matthias.the-bard.uk
TikTok is such a well designed app...
A screenshot of a TikTok direct message. A waving hand emoji is shown with "Not sent" in red text below it. Under that, a warning is shown which reads, "This message may be in violation of our Community Guidelines, and has not been sent to protect our community. If you believe this was a mistake, let us know so we can review this along with recent messages."
March 10, 2025 at 3:02 PM
matthias.the-bard.uk
I am seriously not good at taking good #TummyTuesday shots with good lighting etc. but here you go anyway
A photo of a fat white man's large protruding hairy belly and chest. His hand is just out of sight resting on the left side of his lower belly. You can just see his black underwear with an orange stripe
February 25, 2025 at 7:49 AM