Matt Salomone
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matthematics.com
Matt Salomone
@matthematics.com
3.6K followers 2.2K following 9.7K posts
Associate dean, Bartlett College of Science & Math, Bridgewater State University. Mathematics enjoyer. Views mine. ¹Best known for other work. 📍 Plymouth, MA
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matthematics.com
Do some people think the purpose and function of HS grades ought to be different than college grades, I wonder?
"You admitted these students because they have straight A's, and now they're getting a lot of A's." Summer Tan, a Harvard senior who questions why getting a lot of A's is a problem
November 16, 2025 at 9:12 PM
matthematics.com
“This is an excellent formula”
Ron Swanson wearing vintage Can headphones, proudly holds up an iPod saying “This is an excellent rectangle”
November 16, 2025 at 3:54 PM
matthematics.com
Quotation: Sometimes it's like watching a wasp land on a stinging nettle: someone's going to get stung and you don't care. Terry Pratchett, Night Watch (Discworld, #29; City Watch, #6)
November 15, 2025 at 4:00 AM
matthematics.com
Basil Fawlty (John Cleese) offers a scrap of paper he’s found on the floor to stubborn, hard-of-hearing hotel guest Mrs Alice Richards, shouting “Is this a piece of your brain?”
November 15, 2025 at 3:52 AM
matthematics.com
Simpsons clip: a kid sits guard of a treehouse with a sign reading “NO ISPs CLUB”. “It says ‘no ISPs,’” he explains to a disappointed Illinois State Police officer seeking entry. “We’re allowed to have one.” He gestures toward a smiling Integrated Science Program peeking out the treehouse window.
November 15, 2025 at 1:17 AM
matthematics.com
Homer Simpson pantomimes a swimming spermatozoa, leaning forward and wiggling his head while his arms trail behind him, punctuating the story of Maggie's conception that he's recounting to a horrified family seated on the couch. "Did you have to be so graphic?" Marge asks.
November 14, 2025 at 8:54 PM
matthematics.com
Screenshot from “The Sims”: a young woman in white dress sits at a desk, fully engrossed in a computer screen while a swaddle newborn baby lies on the floor nearby, engulfed in flames. “Not now, sweetie,” the caption says, “they just got Grijalva’s signature.”
November 12, 2025 at 9:54 PM
matthematics.com
It’s impossible to understand the current state of the USA without first appreciating how much of it is populated by people doing this:
Homer, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie Simpson have barricaded themselves into the master bedroom of their home, behind a doubled-over mattress barricade. The kids peer around the edges of the mattress trembling in fear; Homer looks out over top, leveling a wary shotgun at the viewer.
November 11, 2025 at 8:11 PM
matthematics.com
Dr Manhattan vaporizes a man who’s waving his arms wildly saying “you have to take MY wild interpretation of your post very seriously!!!!!”
November 11, 2025 at 12:00 AM
matthematics.com
Post “aspirational visions of masculinity”
Homer, Barney, Apu, and Skinner appear as the “Be Sharps” barbershop quartet, giving a reunion concert from the rooftop of Moe’s Tavern, bundled up in overcoats, singing their breakout “Baby on Board”. George Harrison later drives by in the back of a limo and observes the scene, remarking “it’s been done”.
November 10, 2025 at 12:37 PM
matthematics.com
Hans Moleman (as Hakeem Jeffries) says “I was saying ‘Schooo-mer’.”
November 10, 2025 at 12:33 PM
matthematics.com
Homer Simpson (as Krusty the Klown) appears in front of a large sculpture of hamburgers and a swarming crowd of children at a Krusty Burger promo event. “‘To audience,’” he reads aloud from a cue sheet. “I now proclaim this new burger… for sale.”
November 9, 2025 at 11:53 PM
matthematics.com
Handwritten signs taped to a window read, by rows: “YOU” “DON’T” and “MATTER” “GIVE UP!”
November 9, 2025 at 10:36 PM
matthematics.com
NO THAT’S SOCIALISM!!1!
“American Chopper” bickering meme SOCIALISM NEVER WORKS NORWAY IS SOCIALIST AND THEY'RE DOING GREAT THEY'RE NOT SOCIALIST THEY'RE CAPITALIST COUNTRIES WITH STRONG WELFARE POLICIES THEN LET'S ADOPT THOSE POLICIES NO THAT'S SOCIALISM
November 9, 2025 at 3:50 PM
matthematics.com
Groundskeeper Willie shakes his fist angrily while looking out Principal Skinner’s open window. “Damn women!” He shouts. “They ruined womanhood!”
November 7, 2025 at 12:37 AM
matthematics.com
Goose chase meme: Goose asks "Whose workplace?" then angrily chases after a fleeing dude in a puffer jacket and TImbs asking "Whose workplace did it ruin, mfer??"
November 6, 2025 at 3:19 PM
matthematics.com
His shenanigans are cruel and tragic
Two Vermont police officers in “Super Troopers” laugh indulgently as they offer their service weapons to the viewer
November 5, 2025 at 11:09 PM
matthematics.com
It’s the @hausofdecline.bsky.social Anti-Woke Lemonade stand
Haus of Decline comic Panel 1: Kid sits lonely at a lemonade stand with sign “Lemonade 50¢ / cup”. “Man, I’m tired of not selling any lemonade,” the kid says. Panel 2: Kid adds to his sign, which now reads “ANTI-WOKE LEMONADE 50¢ / cup” Panel 3: A throng of middle-aged men with identical sunglasses, polos, and gray goatees appear out of nowhere. “Young man, I would like to support your business,” says one. “So would I,” several agree. Panel 4: Wads of dollars are being waved in front of the kid’s face. “This feels wrong,” he says, “but the money kinda helps.”
November 5, 2025 at 9:11 PM
matthematics.com
I’m totally stealing this for my next #MATH596 run. Via Meme for Mathematicians on FB
Happy Mr. Incredible: Natural numbers: “Counting numbers, haha” Integers: “Just two natural numbers [subtracted]!” Rational numbers: “Just two integers [divided]!” Black xerox-copy traumatized Mr. Incredible: Real numbers: “The limits of infinite convergent Cauchy sequences of rational numbers” Happy Mr. Incredible: Complex numbers: “Just two real numbers!”
November 5, 2025 at 12:04 PM
matthematics.com
“We want to put them in trauma” doesn’t feel so good when it comes back on ya, does it
November 5, 2025 at 11:53 AM
matthematics.com
He’s gonna … something something
In a Treehouse of Horror sendup of “The Shining”, Marge has discovered a mentally-spiraling Homer’s typewriter, where he has typed out “Feelin’ fine.” She is momentarily relieved, until a flash of lightning illuminates the darkened room to reveal he has scrawled “NO TV AND NO BEER MAKE HOMER GO CRAZY” all over the walls. Marge gasps in awe.
November 4, 2025 at 12:43 AM
matthematics.com
Hey Siri, who endorsed Cuomo today
Tweet House Judiciary GOP @JudiciaryGOP Kanye. Elon. Trump. 8:05 PM • 10/6/22 • Twitter for iPhone 2,751 Retweets 11.2K Quote Tweets 15K Likes This Tweet has been deleted.
November 4, 2025 at 12:17 AM
matthematics.com
Core memories that will be relevant forever
A teenage Homer Simpson, with a long scruffy brown head of hair, looks at his reflection in a mirror triumphantly repeating “forever… forever… forever…” 39-year-old balding, portly Homer Simpson glumly looks at his reflection in a mirror repeating “forever… forever…”
November 3, 2025 at 11:52 PM
matthematics.com
I’m also disappointed I missed the obvious Simpsons reference
On a season-two Treehouse of Horror, Lisa Simpson has discovered a book in alien Kodos’ possession apparently titled “How to Cook Forty Humans”
November 3, 2025 at 11:35 PM
matthematics.com
I totally did not read this correctly the first time I
Skeet by The Contrarian @contrariannews.org Democrats are fighting for families to eat.
November 3, 2025 at 10:40 PM