Mathota
@mathota.bsky.social
A simple cultist making their way in the world
Pinned
Mathota
@mathota.bsky.social
· Nov 19
Wallowing in luxury (having a bath) while commanding my manservant (romba) to clean my estate (vacuum) while I sip my elixir (mtn dew code red) from my silver goblet (the silver goblet is real actually)
🧙♂️Slander overheard at the Council Towers🧙♂️
Wizard: "Golemcraft is just a squeamish man's Necromancy!"
Alchemist: "No, Necromancy is just a poor man's Golemcraft."
Wizard: "Golemcraft is just a squeamish man's Necromancy!"
Alchemist: "No, Necromancy is just a poor man's Golemcraft."
January 13, 2026 at 9:25 AM
🧙♂️Slander overheard at the Council Towers🧙♂️
Wizard: "Golemcraft is just a squeamish man's Necromancy!"
Alchemist: "No, Necromancy is just a poor man's Golemcraft."
Wizard: "Golemcraft is just a squeamish man's Necromancy!"
Alchemist: "No, Necromancy is just a poor man's Golemcraft."
Naming the switch on my wall Samsara because it brings enlightenment
January 12, 2026 at 9:06 AM
Naming the switch on my wall Samsara because it brings enlightenment
Werewolves are a metaphor for random acts of violence caused by elitist systems denying lower classes mental and physical Healthcare.
"Oh you were savaged by someone with an illness in obvious need of care? Unfortunately they are only warded off by my silver cutlery. No you cannot have some"
"Oh you were savaged by someone with an illness in obvious need of care? Unfortunately they are only warded off by my silver cutlery. No you cannot have some"
January 12, 2026 at 9:03 AM
Werewolves are a metaphor for random acts of violence caused by elitist systems denying lower classes mental and physical Healthcare.
"Oh you were savaged by someone with an illness in obvious need of care? Unfortunately they are only warded off by my silver cutlery. No you cannot have some"
"Oh you were savaged by someone with an illness in obvious need of care? Unfortunately they are only warded off by my silver cutlery. No you cannot have some"
Honey I kind of understand, but whoever first ate Royal Jelly was a culinary deviant who ought to have been locked up.
January 12, 2026 at 8:58 AM
Honey I kind of understand, but whoever first ate Royal Jelly was a culinary deviant who ought to have been locked up.
Insect-Vomit Flavor tierlist:
S-Tier: Honey
B-Tier: The Rest
S-Tier: Honey
B-Tier: The Rest
January 12, 2026 at 8:46 AM
Insect-Vomit Flavor tierlist:
S-Tier: Honey
B-Tier: The Rest
S-Tier: Honey
B-Tier: The Rest
If God didnt want Vampires to kill people why did he make Human blood so tasty?
January 12, 2026 at 8:45 AM
If God didnt want Vampires to kill people why did he make Human blood so tasty?
It was a prophecy
I dreamed that I was being starved, shrinking and shrinking, until I turned into a little baby goat 🐐
January 11, 2026 at 9:14 AM
It was a prophecy
We cannot truly call eggs cage free until the chickens achieve enlightenment and escape this meaty prision into the planes of pure thought
January 11, 2026 at 8:57 AM
We cannot truly call eggs cage free until the chickens achieve enlightenment and escape this meaty prision into the planes of pure thought
Reposted by Mathota
mf thinks he's so slick sleeping on my bench every night but this has all been a ploy to make him trust me until I can pet him
January 10, 2026 at 4:40 AM
mf thinks he's so slick sleeping on my bench every night but this has all been a ploy to make him trust me until I can pet him
I object to Pink as a colour. Its just Light Red. We make this distinction for no other colour.
Blue + White = Light Blue
Green + White = Light Green
Red + White = Pink???
This is the sort of excess that lead to the downfall of Rome.
Blue + White = Light Blue
Green + White = Light Green
Red + White = Pink???
This is the sort of excess that lead to the downfall of Rome.
January 11, 2026 at 6:31 AM
I object to Pink as a colour. Its just Light Red. We make this distinction for no other colour.
Blue + White = Light Blue
Green + White = Light Green
Red + White = Pink???
This is the sort of excess that lead to the downfall of Rome.
Blue + White = Light Blue
Green + White = Light Green
Red + White = Pink???
This is the sort of excess that lead to the downfall of Rome.
Reposted by Mathota
this is the room I ponder my orb in . I mean use my computer
January 10, 2026 at 2:46 PM
this is the room I ponder my orb in . I mean use my computer
Im watering a tree that will not bare fruit because I have basic respect for tress
January 10, 2026 at 5:51 AM
Im watering a tree that will not bare fruit because I have basic respect for tress
Crazy that most of the Outer Gods are completely Incomprehensible but Yigg will straight up tell you they really like snakes and that basically thats their whole deal.
January 10, 2026 at 5:37 AM
Crazy that most of the Outer Gods are completely Incomprehensible but Yigg will straight up tell you they really like snakes and that basically thats their whole deal.
They'll never catch me nappin because I only nap in secure locations.
January 9, 2026 at 8:24 AM
They'll never catch me nappin because I only nap in secure locations.
People always ask me how I've survived so long in this career. I always tell them the same thing.
The Elixir of Immortality, and getting Simularcrums to do anything even remotely dangerous.
The Elixir of Immortality, and getting Simularcrums to do anything even remotely dangerous.
January 8, 2026 at 6:00 AM
People always ask me how I've survived so long in this career. I always tell them the same thing.
The Elixir of Immortality, and getting Simularcrums to do anything even remotely dangerous.
The Elixir of Immortality, and getting Simularcrums to do anything even remotely dangerous.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but with words I can use them as a material component to cast fireball instead.
January 8, 2026 at 5:08 AM
Sticks and stones may break my bones but with words I can use them as a material component to cast fireball instead.
If you feed spiders chaos-essence most of the time you don't actually get cool chaos-mutant-magic-spiders.
Most of the time the spiders just die.
And before any druids come at me for this, spiders are invertebrates. That means they dont have rights. I checked.
Most of the time the spiders just die.
And before any druids come at me for this, spiders are invertebrates. That means they dont have rights. I checked.
January 8, 2026 at 4:57 AM
If you feed spiders chaos-essence most of the time you don't actually get cool chaos-mutant-magic-spiders.
Most of the time the spiders just die.
And before any druids come at me for this, spiders are invertebrates. That means they dont have rights. I checked.
Most of the time the spiders just die.
And before any druids come at me for this, spiders are invertebrates. That means they dont have rights. I checked.
Necromancer: good relations with the dead, I have
Me: ew
Me: ew
January 3, 2026 at 2:47 AM
Necromancer: good relations with the dead, I have
Me: ew
Me: ew
Actually wild that Ben 10 won by giving the Nazi Aliens free health care.
January 2, 2026 at 8:08 AM
Actually wild that Ben 10 won by giving the Nazi Aliens free health care.
Adding "if you believe such things" to the end of all statements this year so I sound cool an mysterious.
"Went an bought a book yesterday, if you believe such things."
"Went an bought a book yesterday, if you believe such things."
January 1, 2026 at 8:31 AM
Adding "if you believe such things" to the end of all statements this year so I sound cool an mysterious.
"Went an bought a book yesterday, if you believe such things."
"Went an bought a book yesterday, if you believe such things."
Whenever the Council binds me with Geas, I just hire someone to wipe my memories of what I'm compelled to do. Cheap workaround.
Now the council has to Geas me twice. One to not try and forget the Geas. One to not piss on them.
I've cost the council thousands this way. Stimulates the economy.
Now the council has to Geas me twice. One to not try and forget the Geas. One to not piss on them.
I've cost the council thousands this way. Stimulates the economy.
December 31, 2025 at 12:17 AM
Whenever the Council binds me with Geas, I just hire someone to wipe my memories of what I'm compelled to do. Cheap workaround.
Now the council has to Geas me twice. One to not try and forget the Geas. One to not piss on them.
I've cost the council thousands this way. Stimulates the economy.
Now the council has to Geas me twice. One to not try and forget the Geas. One to not piss on them.
I've cost the council thousands this way. Stimulates the economy.
Reposted by Mathota
bribing my doctor for better results at my exam
December 30, 2025 at 6:21 AM
bribing my doctor for better results at my exam
What makes me a good cult leader is that I am always morally right and do the right thing.
December 30, 2025 at 12:24 AM
What makes me a good cult leader is that I am always morally right and do the right thing.
🐍It is I Abraxis keeper of the Final Incantation
Me: Is it Abrakadabra?
🐍A single forbidden word,the undoing of all magic
Me: Its Abracadabra
🐍Known only to me, not even Xacarba, hewn from my flesh
Me: Abracadabra
🐍The word is a twisted form of my name, but I'll never tell
Me: Its Abracadbra
Me: Is it Abrakadabra?
🐍A single forbidden word,the undoing of all magic
Me: Its Abracadabra
🐍Known only to me, not even Xacarba, hewn from my flesh
Me: Abracadabra
🐍The word is a twisted form of my name, but I'll never tell
Me: Its Abracadbra
December 29, 2025 at 9:19 AM
🐍It is I Abraxis keeper of the Final Incantation
Me: Is it Abrakadabra?
🐍A single forbidden word,the undoing of all magic
Me: Its Abracadabra
🐍Known only to me, not even Xacarba, hewn from my flesh
Me: Abracadabra
🐍The word is a twisted form of my name, but I'll never tell
Me: Its Abracadbra
Me: Is it Abrakadabra?
🐍A single forbidden word,the undoing of all magic
Me: Its Abracadabra
🐍Known only to me, not even Xacarba, hewn from my flesh
Me: Abracadabra
🐍The word is a twisted form of my name, but I'll never tell
Me: Its Abracadbra
Yeah Sealing your Name to become unkillable sounds good, but then you try to apply for a small business loan and everyone starts screaming at you
December 29, 2025 at 2:46 AM
Yeah Sealing your Name to become unkillable sounds good, but then you try to apply for a small business loan and everyone starts screaming at you