Actually Brian, have you ever heard of Jonathan Creek? www.imdb.com/title/tt0118...

This is what I've got

I'm currently stuck on the ferry just outside Holyhead, waiting for them to reopen the port. So my genius plan to avoid plane hassle hasn't exactly worked out

'just as' or 'because'?

I'm sure lots of normal people inspire cardboard effigies

Happy birthday John! I hope you're spoiling yourself

If it's so good and revolutionary why do they need to feed your art into it?

I've had a few

Exactly! That proves you've never played a game before!

Well you have a championship to defend