Malcolm Schmitz
@malcolmschmitz.bsky.social
Author, artist, game dev. Querying middle grade trans thieves; writing adult short fic about lacemaking orcs, nebbish unicorns, trans sky captains, and more. Half of VaporwaveGothic Studios; worked with Black Chicken Studios and small indie teams.
Example:
"There was no toilet paper as such. I don't think it existed, as I never saw any. Everyone used newspaper ... pierced though with a meat skewer, threaded with string and hung on a hook. It was accepted common practice to read from these pieces while sitting in the toilet."
"There was no toilet paper as such. I don't think it existed, as I never saw any. Everyone used newspaper ... pierced though with a meat skewer, threaded with string and hung on a hook. It was accepted common practice to read from these pieces while sitting in the toilet."
November 8, 2025 at 9:04 PM
Example:
"There was no toilet paper as such. I don't think it existed, as I never saw any. Everyone used newspaper ... pierced though with a meat skewer, threaded with string and hung on a hook. It was accepted common practice to read from these pieces while sitting in the toilet."
"There was no toilet paper as such. I don't think it existed, as I never saw any. Everyone used newspaper ... pierced though with a meat skewer, threaded with string and hung on a hook. It was accepted common practice to read from these pieces while sitting in the toilet."
Seriously, this is going to multiply my word count by 30%-60% every time a love interest who can be nonbinary (so, a love interest) shows up.
Because I have to include every verb for every possible pronoun they use.
Because singular they is still conjugated like a third-person-plural verb.
Because I have to include every verb for every possible pronoun they use.
Because singular they is still conjugated like a third-person-plural verb.
November 8, 2025 at 8:52 PM
Seriously, this is going to multiply my word count by 30%-60% every time a love interest who can be nonbinary (so, a love interest) shows up.
Because I have to include every verb for every possible pronoun they use.
Because singular they is still conjugated like a third-person-plural verb.
Because I have to include every verb for every possible pronoun they use.
Because singular they is still conjugated like a third-person-plural verb.
I mean that is also probably a factor.
November 6, 2025 at 11:42 PM
I mean that is also probably a factor.
Right? And it's infuriating because I love the actualfacts period!
THE CHEESE AND THE WORMS is a more interesting cosmology than 90% of contemporary fantasy, to say nothing of, like, Dante's ACTUAL conception of the Inferno!
THE CHEESE AND THE WORMS is a more interesting cosmology than 90% of contemporary fantasy, to say nothing of, like, Dante's ACTUAL conception of the Inferno!
September 1, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Right? And it's infuriating because I love the actualfacts period!
THE CHEESE AND THE WORMS is a more interesting cosmology than 90% of contemporary fantasy, to say nothing of, like, Dante's ACTUAL conception of the Inferno!
THE CHEESE AND THE WORMS is a more interesting cosmology than 90% of contemporary fantasy, to say nothing of, like, Dante's ACTUAL conception of the Inferno!
....It saddens and scares me how hard it is to find accurate visual information about 'fun' historical periods, and it's only going to get harder with AI polluting the mix.
September 1, 2025 at 5:37 PM
....It saddens and scares me how hard it is to find accurate visual information about 'fun' historical periods, and it's only going to get harder with AI polluting the mix.
Like, I'm not a medievalist in any meaningful way, I know enough about the Middle Ages to know how much I don't know. But I know where to go to do research and I know how to tell Dungeons and Dragons from reality, and a lot of people just... don't.
September 1, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Like, I'm not a medievalist in any meaningful way, I know enough about the Middle Ages to know how much I don't know. But I know where to go to do research and I know how to tell Dungeons and Dragons from reality, and a lot of people just... don't.
Versus the thing I was actually searching for, which I found by changing 'water mill gate' to 'sluice gate':
September 1, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Versus the thing I was actually searching for, which I found by changing 'water mill gate' to 'sluice gate':
So it's just kind of in my head that Animals Georg is a standard superhero archetype. Never really thought to question it, until I was laying out the design of my Choicescript game to my partner and they were like "wait, animals? Why, though?"
July 25, 2025 at 10:56 PM
So it's just kind of in my head that Animals Georg is a standard superhero archetype. Never really thought to question it, until I was laying out the design of my Choicescript game to my partner and they were like "wait, animals? Why, though?"
"It's like flying or super-strength or invisibility or whatever. Right?"
Turns out, no, no it is not.
My siblings and I were just obsessed with Teen Titans (2003) when we were small. And my middle brother *always* wanted to be Beast Boy every time we played superheroes.
Turns out, no, no it is not.
My siblings and I were just obsessed with Teen Titans (2003) when we were small. And my middle brother *always* wanted to be Beast Boy every time we played superheroes.
July 25, 2025 at 10:54 PM
"It's like flying or super-strength or invisibility or whatever. Right?"
Turns out, no, no it is not.
My siblings and I were just obsessed with Teen Titans (2003) when we were small. And my middle brother *always* wanted to be Beast Boy every time we played superheroes.
Turns out, no, no it is not.
My siblings and I were just obsessed with Teen Titans (2003) when we were small. And my middle brother *always* wanted to be Beast Boy every time we played superheroes.